Heartfire Therapy

"Hey." Jodio called to another guy who had just tried to slip out. The bastard had ditched his friend without a shred of loyalty and headed straight for the door, with no intention of fighting Jodio. Fair enough. He looked to be only around level seventeen. What made him think he could take Jodio on?

"W-what can I do for you?" the man asked, forcing a terrified smile.

"Take your friend outside. And don't forget to pay the owner," Jodio said evenly.

"T-that's all?" the man asked in shock.

"What else? Do you want me to pound your face with Stone Free like a soggy slime monster? Hm?" Jodio raised his fist in warning.

"Yes, sir! I'm leaving now! I'm terribly sorry for the trouble. Please forgive me!" The man bowed respectfully, dragged his unconscious companion out of the shop, then hurried back to pay the owner. The owner hadn't wanted to accept the money, but after Hongjun nodded, he had little choice. They were all Soul Masters, and he couldn't afford to offend them. This group was clearly stronger. Better take the money.

Some of the other customers hastily got up, paid, and left. Jodio shook his head at the sight, but he couldn't stop them. He sighed, poured himself some tea, and quietly waited for the food.

"Your boss actually hates fighting," Jodio explained to the two sitting across from him.

"Fights always end up breaking something. Even if you don't smash the tables and chairs, you scare the other customers away. That cuts into the owner's earnings. It's bad for business," Jodio continued.

"That's why I look down on it. No matter how much I despise someone in a restaurant, I won't throw the first punch. If they start it, that's another story," he added.

"You've got principles, boss," Hongjun said in surprise.

"Of course. Your boss is lawful evil, you know." Jodio folded his arms and scoffed.

"So are we going to become evil too? Start a gang of thugs with you?" Oscar asked with mock seriousness.

"Think bigger. If we're starting a gang, it'll be the biggest in all of Douluo. Oh, gangs are legal here? Never mind. Your boss must be lawful neutral." Jodio waved a hand.

"Guests, here are your thirty skewers of insanely hot devil-spiced pork. Enjoy." The bearded owner served them with great respect. You couldn't offend Soul Masters, especially ones with bad tempers. He had already prepared himself to waive the bill. Better to let these young masters eat for free than invite trouble.

"Wasn't it supposed to be lamb?" Jodio asked, recalling the comic's plot. Granted, this was the novel version, but finding pork instead of lamb on these devil-spiced skewers was still a surprise.

"We've sold out of lamb skewers, sir. Pork is all we have left," the bearded owner explained.

"Then we'll have pork. Oh, and another thirty skewers without chili," Jodio said.

"Yes, right away." The owner nodded quickly.

"Try one, boss. They're amazing!" Hongjun said around a mouthful, holding a skewer out to Jodio. The thick chili aroma and fierce heat rising off the pork made Jodio's heart sink. Oh, man. This looks a lot like that stuff from the comic. Can I actually eat it?

You coward! Jodio, you're an emperor! Eat it!

Jodio took a bite with apparent ease. In truth, he regretted it the instant the meat touched his tongue. His tongue screamed at him for eating something this hot, while his taste buds died in droves. He was done for.

But Lord Jodio—Lord Jodio still managed to bite down! Incredible! He was practically superhuman!

"Hiss!" Jodio took a deep breath, held back the fire raging inside him, and painfully chewed and swallowed. It was good. Genuinely good, even. But it was too damn hot. Who the hell had come up with eating like this?

"Hiss. Not spicy." Jodio rubbed his face, his expression turning as severe as an Araki illustration.

"That's our boss! Have some more. It's so good!" Hongjun said happily.

"It is pretty good." Jodio set down the skewer with studied restraint. He really couldn't take any more. One or two bites were enough. He had already used Stone Free to turn his tongue into string so he wouldn't keep tasting the chili, but the burning sensation was still unbearable. He was barely holding it together.

"Ah, Hongjun, he thinks it isn't spicy enough. Have you forgotten our boss's habits?" Oscar suddenly realized, turning to chide Hongjun. Then Hongjun had a flash of earth-shattering insight too. He understood!

"Owner! Bring us some chili sauce for dipping, and some flatbread!" Hongjun shouted.

"Coming right up!" The owner motioned for a server to hurry. Jodio's face reddened with anger. Damn you. Both of you are absolute monsters.

"Here you go, boss." Hongjun poured the chili sauce onto a plate and thoroughly coated a skewer for Jodio.

"By the way, Hongjun, how have you been feeling lately?" Jodio asked, accepting the skewer. Even its smell made him choke, so he changed the subject.

"Pretty good. Ever since you started my physical training, the evil fire's hardly flared up," Hongjun answered indistinctly between ravenous bites.

After their last soul-hunting trip, Jodio had given Hongjun a simple way to deal with the evil fire: expend all his energy and completely drain his Soul Power so it couldn't flare up again. It didn't entirely eliminate the agitation and discomfort, but it eased them considerably and kept them from becoming dangerous. At least Hongjun could endure it.

As Jodio saw it, if Hongjun didn't do that, he would end up sleeping around. His character would deteriorate along with it, and someone might even lure him into becoming an evil Soul Master. Flender had been terrified when he heard that. From then on, he put the little fatty through grueling training every day and refused to stop until he was half-dead. A few times, even after bathing, the boy had been too exhausted to climb into bed. He was utterly spent.

Being spent was fine. It kept him from thinking about nonsense. A six-year-old kid ought to stay innocent. Having countless women by twelve? What kind of person did that?

Still, this couldn't be the long-term solution. Jodio planned to aim for a healing-type soul ring next time. He needed to get either Gold Experience or Crazy Diamond. Once he had taken someone on as his underling, he had to look after him. Of course, he couldn't be like a certain rabbit next door who took on an underling and somehow ended up becoming his wife. Oh, man. Wasn't that rabbit's daughter the same? If I remember right, little Huo couldn't beat him back then.

Jodio recalled the past again. At level seventy, when his first trial had been rigged to fail and he'd been forced to draw closer to the protagonist's group, he'd complained about that very thing. Damn it, was the story really so stuck in its ways that it had to perfectly re-create the first generation's plot? Good thing I got there in time, or that poor boy would've fallen for the same trick all over again. Ah, what can you do? Even heroes fall for a pretty face.

"When I reach level twenty, I'll try to get a healing-type soul ring and see if I can cure you," Jodio continued.

"Say no more, boss. It's all in the food." Hongjun eagerly gestured for Jodio to swallow. Jodio could only take a deep breath and bite down. He chewed a few times and forced it down his throat, then covered his face with one hand and fell into thought.

"What's wrong, boss? Is it too spicy?" Oscar asked.

"Hiss. No. I just suddenly remembered Hongjun's martial soul problem. Ah, he's really come a long way. I never thought he'd actually endure the discomfort on his own," Jodio said, his voice wavering.

"Say no more, boss. It's all in the meat! Owner, bring another bowl of extra-spicy beef noodles! My boss isn't full yet!" Hongjun said excitedly.

"Hongjun, we brothers are having a heart-to-heart. The food doesn't matter." Jodio immediately caught Hongjun's raised hand to stop him. He was barely holding on. It was too damn spicy. He couldn't take it anymore!

"Food matters! Boss, you don't know how good their beef noodles are. Owner! Three bowls!" Hongjun said with a grin.

"Hongjun, if you had to choose between the two options again, which would you pick?" Jodio asked, changing the subject.

"Boss, you're finally willing to find me a woman?" Hongjun asked in shock.

"Fuck that! I'll find you a two-hundred-and-fifty-pound woman to put out your fire! If you dare refuse, I'll pluck every feather off your chicken!" Jodio snapped.

"My mistake, bro! I was wrong. I'm behaving now, so please spare me." Hongjun surrendered at once. He remembered Jodio saying the same thing a month ago when he could barely stand it anymore. Jodio had promptly pointed to a "slender beauty" in the village who weighed two hundred pounds and asked whether Hongjun wanted her.

No, thanks. I'll just endure it.

"Seriously, you shouldn't squander your vital essence. Preserving it as much as possible is best. Those of us devoted to cultivation should minimize outside influences on our bodies and keep ourselves in peak condition. Hongjun, you've done the right thing. That's the perseverance you need," Jodio explained.

"Beef noodles, coming up!" The bearded owner cheerfully brought over three bowls and set them down one by one.

"Go on, boss. They're delicious. You'll love them," Hongjun said at once.

"Ah! How can cultivators spend all day thinking about food? Let's take these back for the teachers to try," Jodio demurred.

"Boss, you're not scared, are you?"

"Bullshit. Your boss ate Orleans chicken burgers at three, spicy pepper soup at four, and stir-fried pork with green peppers at five. Chili and I became one ages ago. Why would I be scared? Bring it on!"

Jodio picked up his chopsticks, inhaled a lungful of spicy steam, and took a huge slurp. This time he truly couldn't hold it together. Fuck, this damn owner must be some kind of masochist. Is this food for humans? You couldn't even give it to a dog. Actually, it would poison the poor thing. Too spicy. I can't take it. Where's the water? Where's the water?

Jodio spotted the water jug beside him—his lifeline. He immediately poured himself half a cup, his hand trembling as he prepared to rinse his mouth. But Hongjun thought Jodio wanted to mix up a dipping sauce, so he cheerfully poured the sesame oil and chili oil from the table into the cup, then looked at him expectantly, waiting for praise.

"Oh, you—Hong! Jun!" Jodio's expression changed in an instant as he shouted.