Page 15
She took an awkward step back and lowered her eyes, not daring to look at Li Luyang again.
Her gentle rebuff made Li Luyang realize he had overstepped. His hand sprang back to his side, and he gave a soft laugh. "It's been so long since I last saw you. I was afraid you might have changed so much I wouldn't recognize you."
"...Uh, haha... You must be joking. A girl stays at home every day. How could she change? I'm just the same as ever."
"Yes, thankfully. You're still the same Xiaofu. The moment you see me, your eyes dart everywhere, as if you'd rather not talk to me."
"Huh?" That was a serious accusation, especially when she still wanted to ask this big brother from the Li Household for a favor. "It's not that I don't want to talk to you. I just thought you merchants were busy and didn't have much time. I was afraid I'd keep you from proper business."
Her polite words made Li Luyang smile. "And how do you know that talking to you isn't proper business to me?"
"I... just figured." At a loss for words, she rolled her eyes a little. Then she noticed the pouch in her hand and remembered she ought to get down to business. She held it out to Li Luyang with both hands. "This is the silver I'm troubling you to take to Father this time, along with what you paid for me last time. Hehe. Father wrote that you secretly slipped him extra silver and told me to pay you back every coin."
Li Luyang glanced at the silver she offered. His brows drew together slightly, but instead of reaching for it as he usually did, he simply watched her.
"Ever since my father was demoted and exiled, I've asked you to take silver whenever your caravan goes out, so you can smooth things over with the officials there. I know it's a nuisance, trip after trip, but if it means Old Man suffers a little less, I can only keep troubling you."
"Must you repeat all that every time I come back?" he asked quietly. Keeping her distance. Standing on ceremony. Settling every account between them without owing him a thing. She was short of money, yet refused to use a single coin of his, even as a loan. Each time, she made a point of saying she was troubling him, asking him for a favor, without ever letting down her guard, as though he might turn his back on her at any moment. He understood why she thought that way. After all, when disaster struck the Zhu Household, his father had been the first to turn his back on them and force the engagement to be broken. No matter how much he did now, he could not dispel her misgivings.
"It's not that I deliberately say it every time. You've just done so much for Old Man that I don't know how to repay you." Oblivious to his thoughts, Zhu Bafu scratched her head and tried to come up with something more eloquent, but her mind was empty. If it were cloying words between lovers or a heartless, affected lament, she could have spun a lotus blossom with her tongue and talked like a waterfall. Yet when she sincerely wanted to thank someone, she could not find the right words.
"I thought of giving you something, but I don't have anything nice. I considered embroidering something for your wife, but, hehe, my needlework is embarrassing. You wouldn't want a few fat ducks decorating your house, would you? Hmm... How about this? When your wife is expecting and you're about to have a son, I'll write you a pair of couplets to hang outside your door for good luck."
"..."
"'A proud son descends from heaven and enters the door; the earth receives a noble child, blessed with gifts galore.' And across the top: 'May your son become a dragon.' What do you think?"
He abruptly fell silent. His face grew darker and darker, so grim that her auspicious words sank like stones, with no one to answer them. She was utterly bewildered, with no idea what she had said wrong. In any case, she had delivered the silver and finished her errand. He was in a bad mood today; she might as well go home, wash up, and sleep. She was about to take her leave when Li Luyang spoke stiffly.
"If I don't say it outright, will you refuse to understand even a little? Do you know that I don't want your politeness? Do you know how I want you to repay me? Do you know whom I think about when I'm away trading with the caravan?"
"..." Who? She certainly wasn't foolish enough to blurt that out. One look at the way Li Luyang glared at her through gritted teeth told her the answer: it was her, the innocent passerby who had merely come to buy soy sauce and was holding up a sign proclaiming her innocence.
There was only that one messy business between men and women. Once spoken aloud, there would be no going back. Her goal was a friendship with this big brother from the Li Household that would last a thousand autumns and ten thousand generations—so she could keep asking him for favors...
She swallowed and tried to turn and flee, but Li Luyang saw what she meant to do. He caught her by the elbow, pulled her into a corner by the wall, and blocked her way.
"I don't want to watch you suffer anymore. Come with me."
"Go... with you?" To do what?! Say something else after that! Don't stop the sentence there!
"Yes. Be with me." Contrary to her hopes, Li Luyang did stop there, then made his meaning even clearer. "I'll pay for Xiaojiu's schooling. I'll make arrangements with the officials and the court for your father and do my best to reunite your family soon."
"So those are your terms for making me your concubine?"
Her blunt words made Li Luyang press his lips together. Distress showed on his face, and his hands slowly slipped from her shoulders.
Seeing him retreat in the face of difficulty, she pulled away to leave. She had barely taken a step when he caught her trailing sleeve.
"Would it be so bad to stay by my side? You'd be the only one I kept with me. I'd take you out of the Capital on trading trips, take you traveling wherever we went, and take you to see your father."
Temptation seeped into Li Luyang's voice. The hardships of making a living flashed through her mind. She frowned and bit her lip, unable to find the strength to push his hand away. Then a shrill woman's voice pierced her ears.
"She'd be the only one you kept by your side? So a wife can't compare to a concubine. Clearly, I mean nothing to you. Li Luyang!"
Young Mistress Li, Zhao Xiangmi, descended the steps with a dark expression and approached the two still tugging at each other by the wall. She wore a splendid silk gown, heavy Hairpins on her head, and embroidered satin shoes threaded with gold. Her hands rested properly before her abdomen, clasped inside her wide sleeves. Her plump face and haughty gaze brimmed with resentment; at a glance, she looked ready to nail Zhu Bafu to the floor, grind her bones to dust, and scatter the ashes.
"You avoid me on ordinary days and never say a single tender word. Every time you return to the Capital, you rush straight to the back gate just to meet this shameless woman?" The young mistress held herself rigidly upright. She shot Zhu Bafu a sidelong glance, spotted the pouch in her hand, and lost all composure. Her anger flared higher. "Just what sort of wretch from a brothel is she? You even give her money to spend?"