Who Says There Are No Ghosts in a Haunted House?

"Who says there are no ghosts in haunted houses? Step forward! I promise I'll only send you into a critical-care ward, not kill you!"

Dian forced a smile, but instead revealed a bizarre grin that made people's hearts skip a beat... no, stop altogether. It immediately drew a wave of cheers... and screams.

"This person is trying so hard!"

A young man wearing tortoiseshell glasses gave a solemn evaluation. "To be able to smile like that is truly a talent, in a certain sense."

The tall, skinny man beside him immediately snarked, "I think he was simply reincarnated into the wrong womb. What a pity. A great ghost hadn't even been born before dying in the womb."

"..."

A little girl holding a Pikachu-shaped cotton candy stared blankly.

Dian's heart leaped. There are three great things about lolis. I'll have to add a fourth.

He immediately smiled even harder.

The atmosphere suddenly froze... silent as death...

The little girl's eyes grew round, and a visible mist welled up in them. Then her lips began to pout. She was already preparing her ultimate move—if she couldn't make you cry to death, she would annoy you to death!!

"Waaaaahhhh!!"

A heart-rending cry rang out at the entrance of the haunted house.

"Pervert!!"

A twin-tailed girl in a sailor uniform covered her own flatlands and instantly retreated.

"No... Dead pervert. I think adding 'dead' makes it rhyme better!"

The tortoiseshell-glasses youth adjusted his glasses, and a sharp glint flashed through his eyes. "Indeed. Dead pervert... Hmm, it rhymes."

The tall, skinny man fell silent for a moment before giving up on snarking. He felt he ought to return to snark school for further study. His skills were still somewhat lacking.

The Snark Master was indeed right: the hardest thing in this world was seeing the world through snark.

A wild female Ursaring mother—no, a beautiful housewife—came over and took the little girl's hand. In a gentle voice, she said, "Mengmeng, don't cry. This big brother didn't mean to do it. He just... sigh... he just lacks public manners."

She shot Dian a glance. The coldness in her eyes was even sharper than Ice Beam. "It would be one thing if he only looked frightening, but he even came out to... Honestly!"

Though she was thinking this in her heart, her face remained gentle, and her apologetic tone said, "I'm sorry. Our Mengmeng has caused you trouble. We're truly sorry!"

Dian's face twitched. He could almost see a black wave of resentment rising into the sky, preparing to ferry him into the afterlife.

He immediately put away his smile... and pointed at the sign beside him.

The sign read:

"Annual Spectacular! Handsome Youth's Terrifying Facial-Artistry Show—Dubaki Haunted House."

"What? So it was just facial artistry. What a disappointment."

The twin-tailed girl looked displeased. "I thought he really was a pervert."

The tortoiseshell-glasses youth coughed lightly. "Miss, how rare perverts are—there's only one every year. If you don't mind, why don't we have a candlelit chat tonight?"

"Darling, are you going to abandon me?!"

The tall, skinny youth suddenly spoke in a trembling voice. "Have you forgotten our vows of eternal love and our passionate nights together?!"

"Uh..."

The twin-tailed girl used Instant Movement again, retreating more than a dozen steps before quickly walking away.

The tortoiseshell-glasses youth froze for two or three seconds before casually withdrawing his hand and walking off to the side.

"Hmph, hmph!"

The tall, skinny youth said smugly, "I'm no good at snarking, but I'm great at breaking up couples. I've been doing it professionally for twenty years, and no one has surpassed me yet."

Dian looked at the group of idiots in front of him and suddenly felt a little despairing. Could the Pokémon world have already been infected by an idiot virus? Then what about all my goddesses...

In the next moment, he came to his senses. There were idiots, but the world was at least still normal.

Because a Misdreavus was floating right in front of him, staring coldly at him with a pair of dead-fish eyes.

Dian wore a bitter expression, not knowing how he was supposed to serve this Misdreavus young lady.

"Misdreavus!"

After flying around Dian once, the Misdreavus young lady returned to the haunted house.

Dian wiped the cold sweat from his forehead. If Normal-type Pokémon tormented your body, then Ghost-types ravaged your spirit.

He stared expressionlessly at the pitch-black haunted house behind him and snarked inwardly, Who says there are no ghosts in haunted houses? Isn't there one right here... and an insomniac ghost at that.

That was right. The Misdreavus young lady had recently entered an explosive phase. Anyone who provoked her would die, because she had insomnia!!

Looking at the scenery around him, Dian still felt that everything was dreamlike and unreal. However, there was no doubt that this truly was the world of Pokémon—a Dream Land he had yearned for.

"Grrr..."

Dian clutched his stomach and continued his great undertaking of earning extra money.

That was right. The world was beautiful, but having no money was cruel. Starving to death was even more brutal.

A line of small writing appeared in the lower-right corner of the sign beside him.

"Performing, not selling myself. Welcome to Dubaki Haunted House, where we offer supreme surprises and heart-pounding excitement."

He had been in this world for three months. From a nobody without legal status, he had relied on his talent and charm to transform into an employee of Dubaki Amusement Park. Not only had he gained a legal identity, he had also taken another step toward his grand goal of getting promoted, earning a raise, and marrying a rich, beautiful woman.

He had originally wanted to capture a Pokémon and begin his own journey, but after witnessing a harmless-looking Rattata bite a millstone-sized rock into powder, he had turned and fled without hesitation... no, he had tactically retreated.

By selling his face, he had won the haunted-house contractor's approval and become a minor employee at the haunted house.

Dian looked around and discovered that Paradise's visitor numbers had clearly fallen considerably. He sighed. There was nothing that could be done. It was currently the annual day when Trainers set out, as well as the start of the new school year. Naturally, Paradise's days had become difficult.

"Misdreavus..."

Dian began his daily daze expressionlessly. It did not matter anyway; other people could not tell.

He had scrimped and saved enough money, and had even bought the most ordinary Poké Ball. The reason he had still chosen to remain here was that Misdreavus.

Originally, the haunted house had contained nothing but props. However, half a month ago, a Misdreavus had suddenly appeared. Dian had been so excited that he could barely contain himself, but afterward, the Misdreavus young lady had taught him what it meant to be unable to take care of himself.

Pulling his hair from behind without warning and letting out terrifying cries in the middle of the night were everyday occurrences. Even more frighteningly, she had once dragged him directly into an illusion and given him a proper taste of what it meant to be attacked by a vengeful ghost.

However, after being frightened again and again, Dian had instead begun to enjoy it. The Misdreavus young lady then began to worry, because she discovered that her food supply was decreasing.

Thus, she spent all day thinking about how to frighten this freak.

What she did not know was that all of this was within Dian's expectations.

He knew that Pokémon like Misdreavus were generally filled with curiosity. Ordinary people were certainly unable to catch their interest. Therefore, if he wanted to win the Misdreavus young lady's favor and become her Trainer, he had to win through surprise and do the opposite of what was expected.

Every night, Dian would begin telling ghost stories without a care. One story a day, never repeating the same format. The result was that the Misdreavus young lady developed insomnia.

He swept his gaze around, and after discovering that fewer and fewer people remained, he turned and headed back.