"Father, you knew perfectly well I was a vampire. Why did you adopt me?"
"I always thought you were a little succubus femboy—"
Cain jolted awake from his dream. "Scared the hell out of me—why would I have a dream like that?"
"Well, damn. Vampires have nightmares too?" Lucifer asked. "And why were you sleeping in my bar?"
"We got back at night, didn't we? We didn't want to disturb you, so we made do here for the night," Cain explained.
"How considerate," Lucifer said stiffly. "Then could you explain why my liquor cabinet is missing two hams, a dozen bottles of red wine, two dozen beers, and three boxes of cigars—"
"I wouldn't know. As everyone knows, we vampires drink blood. We don't eat human food," Cain said with complete conviction.
"Since when was that part of the lore—wait, where's Roland?"
"He seemed to head into the kitchen after getting drunk."
"Oh no, my kitchen!" Alarmed, Lucifer hurried into the kitchen. "Damn it, did a wild boar attack this place?"
"Morning." Roland climbed to his feet in a corner of the kitchen. "Holy crap—didn't Cain say that booze was barely alcoholic? I drank myself into a blackout—"
"What did you do to my kitchen?" Lucifer demanded. "What's that blob of transparent stuff on the stove? Were you roasting slimes in here?"
"I don't know." Roland shook his head. "I was drunk. I don't remember what happened last night."
"Ugh—" Lucifer snapped his fingers, restoring the kitchen to spotless order.
A little later, the Mother of All returned from a walk with Rose. "Oh, you're back?"
"Yes. I've done what I promised you. Please take back my powers," Cain said solemnly to the Mother of All.
"All right. I hope you don't regret it." The Mother of All placed her