I really am a good wizard

"Harry Potter!"

As Harry stepped forward, a sudden buzz of whispers swept through the Great Hall.

"Potter, did she say Potter?"

"Is that Harry Potter, the one who defeated You-Know-Who?"

"Gryffindor."

The boy and the hat discussed it for a while, and in the end, Harry's strong preference landed him in Gryffindor.

The Sorting Hat had barely finished speaking when the Gryffindor table erupted in cheers and applause.

After taking off the Sorting Hat, Harry had only just reached the Gryffindor table when Percy, a prefect, eagerly rose to clasp his hand. The students around them crowded over too.

The Weasley twins were even more dramatic, jumping up and shouting, "We've got Potter! Gryffindor's got Potter!"

Gryffindor welcomed Harry Potter like a returning hero. Even McGonagall's stern expression softened a little.

In complete contrast to Gryffindor, everyone at the Slytherin table watched the reckless lions celebrating with cold eyes.

"Hermione Granger!"

Hermione walked slowly up to the stool and hesitantly put on the hat. Then the two began talking in low voices.

More than ten minutes later,

"Gryffindor!" the hat shouted.

Hermione took off the hat and hurried toward the Gryffindor table, remembering to shoot Jerry a glare before she left.

"Jerry Green!"

It was finally his turn. Jerry strode up to the four-legged stool, then picked up the filthy Sorting Hat between two fingers of his left hand, his face full of disgust. He hesitated.

"Hey, boy, could you hurry up and put me on your head? Don't you know how rude this is?" the Sorting Hat said irritably.

"Sorry, Mr. Hat, but you really are filthy." After some hesitation, Jerry finally put the Sorting Hat on his head.

"So you're the little rascal who told that young witch I control brains and read memories?"

Jerry hurried to explain. "Sorry, sir, I was only joking!"

Before the Sorting Hat could speak, Jerry asked another question. "Sir, how do you sort students into the Four Houses so accurately? Have you ever made a mistake?"

Hearing Jerry question its abilities, the Sorting Hat immediately shot back, "I was the hat of Godric Gryffindor, the founder of Gryffindor! Don't underestimate me. I'm an intelligent magical hat with thoughts of my own, and I can see what talents students possess."

Jerry deliberately exaggerated his amazement. "Sir, you're incredible! Were you created through alchemy?"

If I had that kind of skill, Jerry thought, never mind anything else—an inflatable doll that could think and talk... no, an action figure. Wouldn't that have potential?

"In a manner of speaking. The four Founders of Hogwarts poured their own thoughts into me, allowing me to sort students into the different houses according to their talents and qualities."

"Mr. Hat, now that you have a mind of your own, doesn't being trapped inside a hat feel awful? Have you ever considered making a body through alchemy, and then..."

"Stop, stop, stop! Do you even hear what you're saying?" The Sorting Hat cut Jerry off before he could finish.

"This is your Sorting, boy! A student like you belongs in Slytherin. You could become great, and Slytherin will help you on your way to glory."

Jerry felt the Sorting Hat was taking a veiled jab at him, so he protested, "No, no, no. I think Gryffindor suits me. Everyone who knows me thinks I'm brave, daring, spirited, and generous."

"That's because you've fooled them," the Sorting Hat said. "You're very good at putting on an act. All the more reason you should go to Slytherin."

Jerry said, "..."

"Mr. Hat, I think you've misunderstood me..."

Half an hour later, Jerry was still explaining himself to the Sorting Hat, completely oblivious to the passage of time.

The students in all Four Houses were growing impatient and discussing Jerry.

At the Gryffindor table, Harry turned to Hermione beside him. "Hermione, do you know what's going on?"

Hermione shook her head. She was worried and deeply regretted telling the Sorting Hat that Jerry had frightened her. If Jerry really was denied admission over this, she would have to find a professor and explain everything.

Unaware of what was happening below, Jerry was still buttering up the Sorting Hat, trying to see whether he could coax any useful information out of it. "Sir, you're truly remarkable. It's a shame there's only one Sorting Hat in the world. Do you ever feel lonely?"

"Ah, boy, you really do understand me. Unfortunately, the alchemy book containing the knowledge needed to create me is locked away in the Restricted Section's..."

Jackpot! It's in the Restricted Section! Jerry grew excited. He had only been fishing on the off chance of getting something, never expecting an actual catch. If only I could steal that book, memorize its contents, and put it back without anyone noticing. If I don't get caught, it doesn't count as stealing!

"Mr. Hat, what were you saying just now? I didn't catch the last part. Why have you gone quiet? Mr. Hat, are you all right?" Jerry asked warmly.

"Slytherin! Slytherin!! McGonagall, little McGonagall, quick! Get me off this little bastard's head!" the Sorting Hat screamed, losing its composure.

Everyone in the hall, students and teachers alike, jumped at the Sorting Hat's sudden shriek. Nothing like this had ever happened before.

McGonagall was no exception. Once she recovered, she hurriedly removed the Sorting Hat from Jerry's head, then stared at him in disbelief.

Jerry rubbed his nose sheepishly and explained, "I was only having a chat with it."

Seeing that the Sorting Hat was still cursing away, Jerry hurried over to the Slytherin table.

Once seated, Jerry looked around the table. Everyone was staring at him.

"Mr. Green, which family are you from?" an older student beside Jerry asked.

Jerry shrugged and answered casually, "A Muggle family."

The looks around the table changed. Some were curious, some indifferent, and others hostile.

Jerry felt rather helpless. This is all the Sorting Hat's fault. How could an upright, brave, honest, wise, learned, far-sighted, deeply curious student who loves investigating things—a good student like me—possibly belong in Slytherin?

Hmph. How am I supposed to learn magic properly with this bunch of Slytherin vermin?

Looks like the next few years are going to be lively.

At the Gryffindor table, Hermione and the others were discussing it too.

"How could Jerry be sorted into Slytherin? The Sorting Hat must have made a mistake," Harry said.

Hermione sounded worried too. "Exactly. Jerry's Muggle-born. He's bound to get bullied in Slytherin. No, I have to find a professor and ask him to move Jerry to Gryffindor."