Volume One: Days in the Shantytown - Chapter 2: Small-Time Business (Part Two)

Objects from the Mortal Realm carried a “worldly taint,” and the larger the object, the stronger the taint. The Immortal Apprehension Office had an Immortal Artifact dedicated to monitoring all Nine Immortal Realms. The moment a worldly taint appeared, it would be detected. The pitiful bit of Immortal Spirit Energy Luo Qian possessed was enough to wrap around and conceal a computer or other small items, but if he carried something as bulky as a Massage Chair into the Immortal Realm, the Immortal Apprehension Office would arrest him on the spot and execute him then and there.

A Qiankun Bag? If Luo Qian owned a treasure that advanced, would he still need to smuggle?

A Qiankun Bag was a priceless treasure in the Immortal Realm. Even among the First-Rank Immortal Officials who governed the Nine Immortal Realms, few possessed one.

But a small problem like this could hardly stump Luo Qian, a First-Rank Immortal determined to become the Immortal Realm's greatest smuggling kingpin. He already had a plan. He checked the batteries in the charger. They still needed another hour, so he pulled open the door and rushed to the supermarket.

“Hey, hey!” The moment he stepped outside, he ran into an elderly woman. Her aging limbs moved like lightning, and she actually managed to grab Luo Qian, an Immortal, by the arm. “Pay your electricity bill!” Watching the numbers on his meter keep climbing, Luo Qian thought viciously, Looks like I'll have to raise my battery-charging rates!

He tossed the woman a few hundred yuan and quickly slipped away. Efficiency mattered in smuggling, too. Each time he descended to the Mortal Realm, he used the time his batteries took to charge, minus his travel time, to buy goods. He had already wasted a fair bit of time with that fat woman. If he did not hurry, he would not make it back before the batteries finished charging. Every extra minute was dangerous. Luo Qian knew how terrifying the Immortal Apprehension Office was—though at his current level, he would see a “red name” above the head of practically any creature he encountered in the Immortal Realm.

A large supermarket stood not far from his base in the Mortal Realm. Luo Qian made a circuit of the store and easily found the Massage Chairs in the appliance section.

“Miss, may I try sitting in one?” Seeing the saleswoman's strange look, he hurriedly explained, “Oh, it's for my parents.” She immediately put on a warm smile. “Of course, of course. Go ahead and try it. It's very comfortable.” Luo Qian sat down, but something felt awkward—not the chair, but what she had said. Why did it sound as though he were receiving some kind of erotic service? He glanced at the saleswoman and nearly threw up, deeply regretting that such a wicked thought had crossed his mind.

After trying a few chairs, Luo Qian picked one that struck a good balance between price and performance. It was not that he could not afford a more expensive one. Anyone in business knew products had to be upgraded over time. Otherwise, how could the money keep rolling in? If everyone bought your one product, the market would be saturated.

Smuggling worked the same way. Luo Qian would buy an ordinary model first, then gradually move upmarket.

"How much is this one? ... Hmm, could you make it a little cheaper? ... No? Why can't I haggle? ... Because it's a supermarket? Why can't you haggle in a supermarket? Places that don't allow it put up a sign saying, 'No bargaining—don't even ask.' You don't have one, so why can't I haggle? ... The price is clearly marked? I don't accept the price you've marked. Can't we discuss it? ..."

In the end, the saleswoman decided to report to her supervisor that this brand of Massage Chairs would go on promotional discount effective immediately...

Luo Qian picked up his Massage Chair, thoroughly satisfied. The saleswoman's mouth fell open. That was no folding beach chair.

Luo Qian carried the enormous Massage Chair all the way back to his base. The elderly woman, who had forgotten to collect the water bill earlier, swallowed hard and decided that payment could wait. There was no rush.

Holding the Massage Chair in one hand, Luo Qian unlocked the door. He dug an exquisite tool kit out of a cabinet and went to work with screwdrivers and pliers. At last, before the batteries finished charging, he had taken the chair apart. That was his plan: disassemble it and bring it up in several trips.

Luo Qian bundled dozens of batteries and a few loose Massage Chair parts in his suit from the Immortal Realm, slung the bundle over his back, and prepared to return.

Quite a few people had ascended in recent years, and clothing workshops in the Immortal Realm had begun producing suits to suit the times. They had proved rather popular. Back when Luo Qian ran with a gang, he had envied the “big brothers” with status who wore black suits and black sunglasses, but he could not afford them then. As soon as he reached the Immortal Realm, he got himself an outfit.

His suit, modeled on the world-famous brand Armani, came from the renowned Immortal Realm clothing workshop Far Garment Workshop. Its backer was Distant Hall, run by Du Lengning's father.

Luo Qian had smuggled the suit used as the model up from the Mortal Realm. The two sides worked well together, and, for once, Luo Qian had not charged them. He had asked for seven suits instead: four black and three blue. The standard retail price for each suit in the Immortal Realm was seven hundred Standard Divine Coins.

He drew a deep breath and forced it into his body. With a bang, the air collapsed inward, and Luo Qian vanished.

At the same moment, somewhere in the Immortal Realm, an immortal dropped from the sky headfirst. Luo Qian cried out and hurriedly used "Airborne Leap," a First-Rank immortal art he had not quite mastered, to steady himself. He got his bearings and flew toward his cave abode on Toad Mountain.

Though Toad Mountain was a shantytown by Immortal Realm standards, even the most dilapidated immortal mountain had more abundant Immortal Spirit Energy than a Fourth-Rank Immortal. That was why the worldly objects in Luo Qian's company storeroom went undetected.

Luo Qian opened his cave abode, dumped everything into the storeroom, then sat at his desk to make Message Talismans and summon his customers to collect their goods. Only when he sat down did he slap his forehead. "Damn it, I forgot to buy a computer..."

The old computer certainly would not do. If it was anything like the batteries, it probably would not last. Customer records were the lifeblood of a business, and Luo Qian did not want his computer to suddenly crash one day and erase all the records he had worked so hard to collect.

He finished carving a Message Talisman and sent a palmful of Immortal Spirit Energy into it. The talisman flew toward its target on its own. Luo Qian remained seated in his cave abode, making more Message Talismans. He might not need them now, but once he had assembled the massage chair, he planned to make a major sale: an auction. He would notify all his buyers, and anyone interested could bid. This was the first massage chair in the Immortal Realm!

A Message Talisman could cross a thousand miles in an instant. Before long, Ling Xiaose and Du Lengning arrived one after the other, took their goods, and paid the remaining balances. Luo Qian tidied everything up, then made several more trips to bring up the rest of the massage-chair parts.

Thump! A muffled sound rang through the air as Luo Qian returned again. This was the last trip. All the parts were here; all that remained was assembly. He looked around. A vast expanse of white mist surrounded him, too thick for even an immortal's eyes to penetrate. Luo Qian was not worried. The Immortal Realm was ever-changing, and labyrinthine places like this were as numerous as hairs on an ox. With a casual sweep of his hand, he sent out a strand of Immortal Spirit Energy, silently recited an incantation, and called, "Find the way!" The energy condensed into the shape of a wooden staff and spun twice before him, but failed to point in any direction.

Luo Qian froze. His Pathfinding Art was only a First-Rank immortal art, but it had never failed him before. It had always been easy to find a way out of a labyrinth. What was going on today? He tried again, reciting the incantation and casting the art, but the Pathfinding Art still could not find an exit.

Luo Qian let out a wail. "No way! I was living a carefree life in the Mortal Realm, but I had to become an immortal. Then I ended up the most useless kind, a Tribulation Immortal. I finally got a little business going, and before I've even reached a comfortable living, I've fallen into a Death Zone! Heaven, are you messing with me?"

As he shouted, a shimmering glow suddenly appeared in the boundless white mist. It closed in from all sides and swallowed Luo Qian like a trap. His vision blurred, and he slipped into unconsciousness. A burly old man emerged from the mist, looked at Luo Qian lying on the ground, and sighed. "Child, so you're a Tribulation Immortal too."

After a moment's thought, the old man hoisted Luo Qian onto his back. With a casual gesture, he released a strand of Immortal Spirit Energy that formed a purple dragon pattern in the air. The dragon opened its mouth and flicked its tongue in one direction, showing him the way. Any other immortal who saw this would have been stunned. What the old man had done so effortlessly was the Ninth-Rank immortal art "Dragon Points the Way," which required, at minimum, the cultivation of a Ninth-Rank Immortal. That he had performed it with such ease could only mean his strength was unfathomable.