Volume One: Days in the Shantytown - Immortals Play Dirty Too (Part One)

"What, birdseed? You're joking, right, Young Master Du?" After hearing Du Lengning explain the lightning spellcaster's weakness, Luo Qian sprayed a mouthful of tea out over the terrace of the Rock-Viewing Pavilion. Du Lengning shook his head. "Of course not. The guy's a Demon Immortal. You know what Demon Immortals are like? Nine out of every ten oddballs in the Immortal Realm are Demon Immortals."

Luo Qian nodded. "You're not wrong there." He stroked his chin and put on a thoughtful look. It seemed he would have to descend to the Mortal Realm again. As it happened, the disc he had smuggled to Ling Xiaose last time had ended with a preview of that actress's latest film. Just a few scorching clips had left Young Master Ling beside himself, and he had kept asking Luo Qian to get him the new disc. Luo Qian had put it off, worried that Ling Xiaose's "allowance" had recently been cut and he could not pay the bill. This time, he might as well do a good deed and pick it up for him.

Du Lengning lowered his voice. "Old Luo, are you heading down again?" Luo Qian nodded. "Perfect. Bring me a gaming magazine, and mail this for me while you're at it."

Luo Qian took it and saw that it was a ballot for a gaming beauty contest. A famous gaming magazine in the Mortal Realm was holding a game-and-anime cosplay competition to choose the prettiest girl in its readers' eyes. Du Lengning had cut a ballot from the last issue Luo Qian had brought him and filled in his favorite contestant's number and his own details.

Luo Qian glanced at it and frowned. "Young Master Du, why are all these details mine?" The phone number and address Du Lengning had given were for Luo Qian's base in the Mortal Realm. Du Lengning chuckled and slung an arm around his shoulders. "Brothers for life. You won't even do me this little favor?"

Luo Qian looked at him, a sly smile spreading across his face. "Young Master Du, is there something on your mind? Hmm? Tell me the truth. Have you fallen for this girl?" He waved the ballot. "If you won't tell me, don't blame your brother for refusing to help." With that, he shoved the ballot back into Du Lengning's hand.

"No, wait," Du Lengning said quickly. "Fine, I'll tell you. This girl is dressed as my favorite game heroine. Wow, you have no idea how perfectly she captured her! From her looks to her bearing, she's almost exactly like the heroine in the game!"

Luo Qian thought it over. What did Du Lengning's obsession with a game heroine have to do with him? Du Lengning could not descend to the Mortal Realm to strike up a romance with her, and that had nothing to do with him either. As long as Du Lengning had enough Immortal Jade, what wouldn't Luo Qian do for him?

"Fine. No problem. Leave it to me." Luo Qian patted his chest.

Ballot in hand, Luo Qian returned to his cave dwelling on Toad Mountain. He packed a few things and prepared to descend to the Mortal Realm.

Following his usual method, Luo Qian held a breath of Immortal Spirit Energy inside his body. Ordinarily, that forced the energy into a mysterious passage within him, opening a spatial path to the Mortal Realm. This time, though, as soon as he held it in, the energy leaked away from who knew where!

Luo Qian froze. What was going on? How could the compensatory immortal art that had never failed him stop working? Again! He drew Immortal Spirit Energy into his body, but it was like pumping air into a punctured tire. Before long, it had leaked away from somewhere he could not identify.

Luo Qian began to panic. This was bad. He had been doing fairly well in the Immortal Realm entirely thanks to this compensatory immortal art. Without it, could he really survive the next five hundred years? He could not say.

He tried several more times, with the same result. But the attempts revealed something different: the leak did not seem bottomless. With each infusion of Immortal Spirit Energy, it escaped more slowly. Was the "hole" finally filling up?

Luo Qian sat cross-legged and began to cultivate in earnest. Tribulation Immortals could cultivate; it was just that no matter how much Immortal Spirit Energy they breathed in, hardly any of it settled within their bodies. Cultivation was wasted effort. Luo Qian could no longer remember how long it had been since he last tried.

After ascension, there were plenty of sects in the Immortal Realm. Anyone whose aptitude was not too poor could join one and obtain its cultivation method. Luo Qian, however, had bought his.

He drew Immortal Spirit Energy into his body in an unbroken stream, only for it all to be sucked away by that leak, which seemed to be everywhere and nowhere. His body was merely a conduit. Cultivation called for breathing energy in and out, but now he only breathed it in. After an unknown length of time, the leak began absorbing it more and more slowly. At last, it quieted and stopped drawing in Immortal Spirit Energy.

Luo Qian opened his eyes and wiped the cold sweat from his forehead. That had given him quite a fright. Ascending only to become a Tribulation Immortal was unlucky enough. If he lost even the one compensatory immortal art Tribulation Immortals possessed, he would surely be the unluckiest of them all!

He took a deep breath and held the energy hard within him. The passage opened, and with a pop, Luo Qian vanished.

In the Mortal Realm, Luo Qian set out more than a dozen kinds of birdseed before him. He sat in a garden square where plump pigeons fluttered around the center, scattering the seeds by the handful to see which kind they liked best. That would surely be the tastiest.

At last, he settled on one and picked up the package. "Sure enough, it's the most expensive kind..."

After buying the birdseed, Luo Qian went to the post office and mailed the ballot to the address Du Lengning had given him. Then he visited an electronics market in the city and bought the latest adult film from a sleazy man in thick black-framed glasses.

At a newsstand outside the market, he also bought Du Lengning the newest issue of the magazine.

He flipped through it and easily found the full-color pages for the beauty contest. The competition had been the famous gaming magazine's main commercial venture for nearly half a year. Five months in, it was nearing its end. Readers could vote not only with the ballots printed in the magazine, but also online or by text message.

To prevent repeat voting, online voters had to enter a two-part verification code, with one unique set printed in each magazine. So anyone wanting to vote online still needed a copy. Texting was much easier, though each vote cost one yuan.

When all was said and done, it was a scheme to boost sales and rake in money.

The contest would run for six months before a grand champion was chosen. The prize was an endorsement contract with a well-known gaming company. Twenty lucky voters, selected at random by computer, would also win ten-day trips to Europe.

Luo Qian leafed through the magazine and found Number Thirty-Five, the girl Du Lengning liked. In costume, she looked coldly glamorous. Blue-black eyeshadow outlined a pair of phoenix eyes, and her brows were slender and sharply defined. Neat bangs swept across her forehead in a curve like a knife's edge. Her pointed chin tilted slightly upward, making her gaze seem colder still. She wore a violet-blue dress with wide sleeves trimmed at the openings by white bands three fingers across. One hand rested on her snow-white thigh, while the other gripped the hilt of the long blade on her back.

"That kid likes this sort of thing?" Luo Qian shook his head. He was not like Du Lengning, a rich young master of the Immortal Realm. Luo Qian had made countless trips through the Mortal Realm. These days, you could not judge a girl by her makeup. Even a prehistoric creature could dress herself up into a fashionable beauty.

He flipped farther on. Since this was the first issue of the final month, it printed the overall vote totals from the previous five months to encourage readers to support their favorites. Number Thirty-Five, Du Lengning's pick, had not done especially well. She was only in fifth place. The contestant in first struck a seductive pose, crouched on the ground with her round bottom raised. She looked back over her shoulder with a smile, a short knife streaked with red ink to resemble blood held between her teeth.

Luo Qian nodded. This was the kind of girl people liked nowadays: round hips, a slim waist, and breasts big enough to crush the pope. No wonder she held first place so firmly, more than ten thousand votes ahead of second.

Luo Qian tucked the magazine into his robe, found a deserted spot, and returned to the Immortal Realm.

Slap! The magazine slammed down in front of Luo Qian. Du Lengning clenched his fists and roared, "Old Luo, you saw how unfair this beauty contest is, and you did nothing?" Luo Qian frowned, displeased. "Young Master Du, what's that supposed to mean?" Luo Qian had no idea what Du Lengning was plotting, but Du Lengning began earnestly lecturing him. "Old Luo, we're immortals! What are immortals? To the suffering people of the Mortal Realm, we're the ones who uphold justice. Haven't you heard them praying, 'Immortals, protect us'? This contest is unfair. Are you really going to sit by and do nothing?"

Luo Qian glanced at him and said mildly, "If you want me to help your sweetheart win the contest, that's not impossible..." Du Lengning lit up. "Thank—" "Hold it!" Luo Qian cut him off. "Business is business. Honestly, this magazine isn't cheap. See? Twenty-six yuan a copy! There are more than thirty thousand votes between first and fifth place. That's over thirty thousand magazines. And once you account for the gap that'll grow during this last month, it'll take at least forty thousand copies just to catch up. To make sure your sweetheart wins by a convincing landslide, she'll need a lead of another ten thousand votes. That makes fifty thousand votes. Which comes to..." Luo Qian pulled out the large calculator he carried with him and tapped away at it. "That's one million three hundred thousand yuan! Where would I get that kind of money?"

(Shameless enough to ask for votes.)