On the weekend, in the Small Courtyard.
Peach darted wildly around the yard, sometimes dodging invisible enemies, sometimes running as if she had gone mad.
Chen Shu and Qingqing sat side by side on the Swing. It creaked sourly as it rocked. Chen Shu looked up and saw that one of its moving parts had rusted, so he said to Qingqing, "The Swing you bought is terrible quality."
"..."
"Why have you been ignoring me these past few days?"
"I haven't."
"You've barely paid any attention to me these past few days."
"While cultivating Joylessness, I've been in a bad state. I didn't want you to notice."
"How bad?" Chen Shu turned his head. "Worse than when you were little?"
"When I was little?"
"When you were five, right after I met you."
"I don't know which was worse."
"How bad is it?"
"The cultivation method has cut off my perception of Joy. Every kind of perception. So I can't feel happy or recognize beauty. Things in life that used to interest me all seem dull and tedious now." Ning Qing paused and glanced at him from the corner of her eye. "Even with you beside me, though I know I love you and know you're the most important person in my life, I still can't feel happy. I was afraid I'd make being with me unpleasant for you."
Chen Shu thought for a moment after hearing her out, then said, "Isn't that just like when you were little?"
The Swing lost its momentum. Its arc gradually shrank.
Ning Qing froze.
She had been the one rocking it. Chen Shu had asked her to.
That was right—
Before she met Chen Shu, and when she had first met him, hadn't she been just like this?
Ning Qing began rocking the