Holy Shit, I'm Lorgar?

(I've completed a Warhammer novel of over two million Chinese characters, been into Warhammer for nearly three years, and play the tabletop game too. You can rest easy about the lore; there shouldn't be any major problems.)

(Leave your brain here. Void Shield included.)

Beneath the Himalayas.

A vast laboratory lay buried deep within the mountains. A tall man stood in the shadows. Before him, twenty-one embryos floated in growth chambers, each resembling a human infant.

"Soon. The time for humanity's resurgence is near," the tall figure said steadily.

But after he left the laboratory, a Warp Storm suddenly swept through it, scattering the twenty-one embryos across the universe.

One of them, marked with the Roman numeral XVII, was swept away as well. He rode the currents of the Warp through the endless cosmos until he reached a shining planet in the galaxy.

This was Colchis, a beautiful world steeped in faith.

The embryo fell from the sky and landed outside a city. A group of tribespeople found him and wanted to take the child in, but a man named Kor Phaeron stopped them.

He slaughtered the entire tribe and took the boy away to raise himself.

Kor Phaeron was the leader of the planet's Covenant Church, and almost no one dared interfere with him. He was also one of the people on the Planet corrupted by Chaos.

Lorgar's mind suddenly went hazy. One moment, he had been playing HH at the club. The next, he was here.

His whole body tingled. He rose wearily and found himself facing a half-length mirror.

In it, Lorgar could see his upper body.

He was huge, standing several meters tall, with bronze skin etched with strange golden runes.

His once-lustrous hair was gone. A bald man stared back at him.

After three stunned seconds, Lorgar blurted out, "Holy shit..."

"I'm fucking... Lorgar?"

His thoughts raced. I'm Lorgar? Then where am I? Has the Horus Heresy happened yet? Can I still join the Emperor? What about Guilliman? Does he need a sidekick?

Just then, the gilded doors behind him swung open. A pale man in a red robe stepped through, his face twisted into a fierce expression.

"Oh, my dear Lorgar. Why are you still standing here?"

Lorgar looked at the man, then found the answer in his memories.

This bastard was Kor Phaeron.

"Lorgar, what's wrong?"

"Your soul..."

Kor Phaeron sensed that something was amiss. He drew a dagger and glared at Lorgar. "Who are you? How dare you seize the body chosen by the highest hea—"

Bang!

Before Kor Phaeron could finish, Lorgar's fist punched through his chest. As a Primarch, he possessed strength far beyond a Space Marine's. An ordinary Chaos Cultist was no match for him. One punch sent Kor Phaeron's head flying.

"No."

Kor Phaeron spat blood, then collapsed in agony.

"My lord!"

Several spear-wielding guards rushed in. The moment they passed through the doors, they saw Kor Phaeron's body on the floor and Lorgar standing over him with blood on his fist.

The lead guard's mind raced. Seconds later, he spotted the dagger in the pool of blood and immediately understood what had happened.

"Great Bishop! Did this vile wretch try to assassinate you?" the captain cried.

Why Kor Phaeron had tried it was none of their business. They were lucky if stumbling upon this scene didn't get them ground to dust. They knew what questions to ask and what questions to keep to themselves.

"Take the body away and burn it," Lorgar ordered in a low voice.

"Understood, Bishop."

The guards wrapped Kor Phaeron's nearly severed body in silk and carried it out of the palace.

After they left, maids entered Lorgar's room and cleaned the blood from the floor and his fist.

Once Lorgar was alone, he began working out where he was in the timeline.

According to his memories, it was the year 856 of the thirtieth millennium. Lorgar had only just united his homeworld.

In the original timeline, Lorgar united the divided Colchis around 30,856. Then, in 30,857, that old bastard the Emperor arrived and dragged him aboard the ill-fated Great Crusade.

Kor Phaeron's reaction reminded Lorgar of a rumor he had heard: Erebus and Kor Phaeron had supposedly been sent by the Chaos Gods to corrupt him. Judging by what had just happened, it was probably true.

"All right... all right... all right..."

Lorgar's head was starting to hurt. The point in the timeline he had landed in was looking pretty damn bad.

But he was here now. He would make the best of it—and lead the true Word Bearers in teaching those bullshit Chaos Gods a harsh lesson.

After taking a moment to compose himself, Lorgar changed into a clean white robe and stepped outside.

This was Vhaladesh, the capital of Colchis. Lorgar and his army controlled it, having taken the City without shedding blood.

At the time, the Covenant had split into two factions: followers of the old faith and the Lorgar Brotherhood. A massive holy war known as the Schism War had erupted.

Every inhabitant of Colchis had ultimately been forced to choose a side. The war lasted six years.

Afterward, Lorgar assembled a vast army and marched on the capital, Vhaladesh.

He delivered a fervent sermon before the city gates, and its people opened them to him. Colchis's lower-ranking priests presented him with the corpses of Covenant missionaries and clan elders as gifts.

After occupying Vhaladesh, Lorgar's forces moved from City to City. Some submitted peacefully. In other places, when the people refused to renounce what he called their heresy, his forces put everyone to the sword.

After years of fighting, the last City to resist Lorgar's army was Gahvalah, protected by a Storm Generator from the Dark Age of Technology.

Miraculously, Lorgar approached the vortex surrounding the City, and the storm parted. His army surged through the opening and took Gahvalah.

"Right. Let me think what I should do next."

"Got it. Find that motherfucker Erebus and rip his guts out."