The Lie-Flat Slacker System

Year 50 of the Hidden Leaf calendar.

Land of Fire.

Ninja Academy, Class B, fifth year.

"Congratulations, everyone."

"Starting today, you are officially genin."

"Where leaves dance, fire burns on."

"As long as leaves dance, the flames will keep lighting the village, allowing new leaves to sprout and grow."

"..."

Sarutobi Daio stood at the lectern in a green Chunin flak jacket, his voice loud enough to hurt their ears.

The civilian-born students below wore brand-new Konoha forehead protectors, their eyes blazing with fervor.

Becoming ninjas had been their lifelong dream.

The students from established Lineages were different. Their brows were furrowed, their gazes wandered, and their faces were heavy with worry.

A boy sat by the window in the back row, his face unusually fair and his frame rather frail.

Helplessness filled his eyes as he sighed softly.

The fan emblem on his clothes said it all.

That was right.

Jin Uchiha, a member of the Uchiha.

More importantly, he had transmigrated here.

What a pain.

I thought I could hold out until next year to graduate. Who knew that old bastard Hiruzen Sarutobi wouldn't even spare the fifth-year students?

They're so desperate for people at the front that they're scrambling for cannon fodder.

Jin Uchiha's mind raced.

He was twelve this year, the same age as Kakashi Hatake.

That wonderfully "filial" son, Itachi Uchiha, had only just turned four. He was still a little kid.

Yet the brainless Fugaku Uchiha had already dragged him straight onto the battlefield for experience.

In the seven or eight years since Jin had transmigrated, there had been no sign of anything like a system.

His family situation was a mess, too.

His parents had been devoted followers of Kagami Uchiha. After Kagami Uchiha died, the Third Hokage and his people stopped trusting them. In the end, the Uchiha radicals purged them, and both had died on a mission a few years ago.

So that was where he stood now.

He had no connection to the Hokage's side, and the Uchiha didn't trust him either.

In plain terms, nobody wanted him around.

Fortunately, his parents had left him a sizable inheritance, so he didn't have to worry about making ends meet.

His system hadn't awakened, but his own abilities weren't bad.

With the ninjutsu scrolls his parents had left behind, he had mastered not only the Three Basic Jutsu and the Chakra Extraction Technique, but also five Fire Release techniques.

Three C-rank techniques: Great Fireball Technique, Phoenix Sage Fire, and Fire Dragon Flame Bullet.

Two B-Rank techniques: Great Fire Annihilation and Storm Release: Gale Style.

As for Izanagi and Izanami, the two techniques exclusive to the Uchiha Sharingan, he could forget about those.

Although his parents had been jonin, they had been too closely associated with Kagami Uchiha. They had never been given the chance to learn core Lineage techniques like those.

Of course.

Precisely because his parents had died, his Sharingan had awakened early.

The important part was that it was the Three-Tomoe Sharingan.

If he revealed his abilities, he could immediately become one of the Uchiha's elite fighting forces.

He wasn't even afraid of his old classmate Kakashi Hatake, who had become a Jonin just a few days ago. Even if he couldn't kill him, fighting him to a draw would be no problem.

Unfortunately, though.

The Uchiha were all messed up in the head, and sooner or later, Itachi Uchiha would wipe them all out.

He had no desire to involve himself with a group doomed to destruction.

As for saving the Uchiha?

Give him a break.

First, that mess was far too deep.

The Uchiha were a textbook case of stupidity. They couldn't commit to an armed rebellion, but they never stopped running their mouths about it.

And they were so damned proud.

They clung to their ancestors' prestige and looked down on everyone, yet not one of them had any brains.

The Hokage's faction had infiltrated the entire Lineage until it leaked like a sieve, and they were still oblivious. On top of that, they had the utterly useless Fugaku Uchiha.

The man was nothing but a patch-up artist, plugging holes wherever they appeared without a shred of ability beyond that.

He had awakened the Mangekyo Sharingan, yet never used it once in his entire life. The Third Hokage set a trap for him, and his own son stabbed him to death.

From a public perspective, as Clan Head, he had no ability to lead his Lineage.

As a father, he couldn't even raise his own son properly.

With someone like that at the helm of the brainless Uchiha, it would have been a miracle if they weren't exterminated.

Change things?

What a joke.

More importantly, he felt no attachment to them.

Because his parents had been Kagami Uchiha's followers, the Uchiha had never treated him as one of their own.

He wasn't someone like Shisui Uchiha. He couldn't forgive them unconditionally.

So his plan was clear: quietly improve his strength, then run away on the night of the massacre.

For now, he just wanted to keep his head down and hide out at school.

Even with his current Jonin-level abilities, he had stayed.

But fate wouldn't give him that chance.

The Third Shinobi World War had already broken out. Sunagakure's Third Kazekage and Sasori had disappeared together, and Sunagakure had pinned the blame squarely on the Hidden Leaf before declaring war.

The Hidden Stone and the Hidden Cloud Village saw an opportunity. They had long coveted the Land of Fire's territory, so they bit the bullet and attacked as well.

Meanwhile, the Hidden Mist wanted to take advantage of the chaos and grab a share.

The Hidden Leaf truly had no one left to spare.

That was probably why they had rushed this batch of students through graduation and sent them off as cannon fodder.

[Ding.]

[Congratulations, host, on grasping the true meaning of life. The Lie-Flat Slacker System is now online.]

[This system is very lazy. I can't be bothered to explain exactly how lazy. Anyway, as long as the host lies flat, rewards will arrive automatically.]

[There is only one core rule: never sit when you can lie down, and never stand when you can sit.]

[Figure out the rest yourself, host.]

[This system is off to slack off. Bye, host. Mwah!]

Jin Uchiha: "..."

When that synthesized electronic voice rang out in his mind, he froze for a moment before joy exploded inside him.

He was saved.

With his current abilities, keeping himself alive was about the most he could manage.

This was still the early stage. Once the Six Paths of Pain showed up later, the Shinobi World's power levels would shoot through the roof.

Never mind Six Paths Madara or Kaguya. He couldn't even beat Obito, Shisui, or the Legendary Sannin.

Thank goodness the system had arrived.

However.

Once he heard the full introduction, he was utterly stunned.

Lie flat and slack off?

I'd love to.

But if I dared do that in this Shinobi World, I'd be branded a traitor on the spot.

And this damned system couldn't even be bothered to explain itself. That's ridiculous.

Figure it out myself?

For fuck's sake.

Forget it.

I can deal with the future later. First, I'll get whatever benefits I can.

"Hey, system, don't go."

"Where's my starter pack? Don't tell me there isn't one."

"Hurry up."

Anxious, Jin Uchiha hurriedly called out in his mind.

[Ding. Distributing starter pack.]

[Congratulations, host. You have received: Six Powers Training Method.]

This was good stuff.

Excitement surged through Jin Uchiha. The Six Powers from the world of One Piece were an absolute treasure when it came to Taijutsu.

He closed his eyes.

Almost immediately, he understood the training methods for the Six Powers.

After mulling it over for a while, he spoke again.

"System, are there any missions?"

[Ding. No.]

[This system is a total slacker and has no interest in that nonsense.]

[Whenever the host is detected lying flat, abilities such as ninjutsu and Chakra will accumulate experience on their own. Rewards will drop automatically when the host levels up.]

[Your status panel has already been provided. Please stop pestering this system.]

[I'm out.]

[...]