Hashirama! Do you want to dance too?

"Duy!! This is the huge favor you were talking about?!" Danzo roared through gritted teeth.

"What? Isn't this a huge favor?!" Duy shot back.

"Dave, you mother***er!!" This was a fine expression Danzo had picked up over the past few months of hanging around Dave, and right now, he felt it suited Dave perfectly.

"What about Hiruzen? Why aren't you saying anything?" Duy noticed that only Danzo was cursing him. How could that bastard Hiruzen keep quiet? Normally, he was the most enthusiastic of the lot.

Duy and Danzo turned to look at Hiruzen beside them at the same time. His face was flushed, and his squinting, lecherous gaze remained fixed on the Uchiha bunny girls up above.

The view from back here is incredible... hiss! Those full... those Haku-white... Hiruzen felt as though he had entered Heaven...

Duy and Danzo rolled their eyes together. This little Monkey still couldn't shake his lecherous ways...

"Oh!! This is youth!! Little boss! Let's push Lord Madara around the Village another three hundred times!!" Might Wei, whom Dave had dragged along for manual labor, roared with hot-blooded enthusiasm.

"..." Dave watched the green-clad Kappa Monster beside him erupt with youth, his eyelid twitching nonstop... He was honestly afraid the man would suddenly blurt out some ridiculous Granny Li Knocks on the Door pun...

Just then, Madara, who was wildly swaying on the stage, noticed something. Guang shone in his eyes as he looked in a certain direction.

"Hashirama! Do you want to Rise and Dance too?!" Madara pointed at the red figure on the Hokage Building and roared excitedly, Guang shining in his eyes. He had even activated his Sharingan... how could he not be excited...?

"..." At that moment, Hashirama and Tobirama were still standing atop the Hokage Building in shock... They couldn't believe their eyes...

"Madara..." Hearing Madara call to him while swaying down below, Hashirama came back to his senses.

"Madara... this time! I won't lose to you!!" A blazing fire ignited in Hashirama's heart, and with a Body Flicker Technique, he appeared right in front of Madara! This was the first time in years that Madara had challenged him of his own accord... Naturally, he was excited too.

But then Hashirama was completely dumbfounded... Madara Uchiha knew how to dance, but he didn't know a damn thing!

His buddy Madara Uchiha seemed to notice his predicament too. He activated his Sharingan and pulled Hashirama into a Genjutsu. Hashirama didn't resist; he knew Madara wouldn't hurt him.

"Release! Madara! I'm definitely going to beat you this time!!" Hashirama broke the genjutsu. Having learned how to dance from Madara's illusion, he clenched his fists and began swaying wildly to the rhythm.

Duy was utterly dumbstruck... It's gone off the rails, completely off the rails... is this still the fucking original plot??

That day was also the liveliest day Konoha had ever seen.

Villager A: "Th-that is!! Lord First Hokage!! And the one beside him is... Lord Madara!! Th-they're... they're... could... could this be the latest ninja training method spreading through Konoha? Quick! Son! Start swaying along with Lord First Hokage!!"

Villager A's son: “....” He really wanted to ask, Dad, do you know what it means to die of embarrassment?

Spy B: "This... the First Hokage... and Madara Uchiha! What's that? I need to write down this information and their movements and send it back to my village right away. If even the Warring States Duo are doing this, they must have a reason. Could it be some kind of conspiracy?"

The spy was already imagining how he would endure hardship and danger to deliver the intelligence to his Village, how his Kage would successfully foil their scheme and annihilate Konoha in one fell swoop, and how he would then swagger back to the Village to receive a reward from the Kage himself! Then... hehehe... Xiaomei should finally say yes to me...

Uchiha C: "Th-this... this... this is... the clan leader!! Th-those bare, white thighs—pah! Are those women from our clan? Th-this... I need to hurry back and report this to the elders..."

"Lady Mito, it sounds quite lively outside. Aren't you going to take a look?" The maid who had accompanied Mito Uzumaki when she married asked with a hint of excitement upon hearing the commotion outside.

"Hmm? Has something serious happened?" Mito had naturally sensed the two enormous masses of Chakra outside. They belonged to Madara and Hashirama. Judging by that commotion... and the fact that Madara and Hashirama have both gone into action... could an enemy have entered the Village?

"Yako, I'm going out to take a look. Stay here and don't go anywhere!" The more Mito thought about it, the more worried she became, and she hurried out of the compound...

A short while later...

Mito stared dumbfounded at the two long-haired men swaying wildly on the stage over there, her mind going completely blank...

"Hey! Mito!! Hahahaha!! How's my dancing?!" Hashirama also noticed Mito staring blankly at him and burst out laughing.

After dancing for so long, he could feel his lost youth returning...

"Who are you? Do I know you? We're not acquainted. Goodbye." Mito came back to her senses and noticed the strange looks the surrounding villagers were giving her. She understood what those looks meant... What's your relationship with that guy dancing onstage?

Her face red, Mito went straight back to the compound after saying her piece. She didn't know that guy outside with the long, straight black hair. Nor could he possibly be her husband. Although her husband could sometimes be embarrassing and a little dim, there was absolutely no way he could be the man swaying wildly out there!

The smile froze on Hashirama's face. Watching Mito walk away, he felt a faint pang of hurt...

"Hey! Hashirama! Can't dance anymore? Ready to admit defeat?! Hahahaha!!!" Madara Uchiha was thoroughly enjoying himself and naturally hadn't noticed Mito arrive. Seeing his buddy standing motionless, he assumed Hashirama couldn't keep dancing and burst out laughing.

"Madara! I'll never lose to you!!!" Hashirama snapped out of it. Hearing his buddy's taunt and remembering how, for the past three months, their daily greetings had always begun with "ugly bastard," Hashirama burned with anger too and resumed competing with Madara in dance.

Behind the two wildly dancing men...

God Kishimoto... Sage of Six Paths... th-this... you can't blame me for this... it's not my fault the plot's gone off the rails... Black Zetsu... it's not my fault if you can't find your mom either... Duy silently wept inside. Everything had changed... completely changed... This was no longer the Naruto he knew...

At the same time, a trace of regret stirred in Dave's heart. Why had he told Uncle Madara about girl groups and all that stuff before...? Uncle Madara... I miss you... I miss the you who'd turn evil at the drop of a hat...