Danzo and Hiruzen's little tale of forbidden love

As soon as the five minigames launched, they took Konoha by storm. Many villagers discovered that these Game were addictive. Some were fine for killing time, but others only made you want to play more the longer you played. You simply couldn't stop.

At the Konoha Academy, Tobirama stood at the front of the classroom with his arms folded and veins bulging on his forehead.

The sight of all those bowed heads infuriated Tobirama. He had already walked up to the front and stood watching these children for five minutes, yet not a single one had noticed his arrival.

He looked at that troublesome son of his, Dave... Tobirama's head ached... Dave wasn't quite as bad. Unlike the students, he wasn't holding a phone and staring down at it. Instead, he and his Uchiha daughter-in-law were holding hands under the desk and whispering sweet nothings...

"Fuck! Hiruzen, again! I refuse to believe I can't beat you today! I..." Just then, Danzo suddenly stood up and shouted, startling the previously quiet class.

Danzo felt as though the Game was targeting him. It was called Konoha Blocks, and it randomly gave you little blocks in fixed shapes to fit into a grid. Filling a row cleared it. Fuck, he had somehow gotten ten straight pieces in a row, each four squares tall, and they had piled up until he lost. It was infuriating.

Danzo was just about to unleash another couple of Tael curses when he looked up... The words on the tip of his tongue were swallowed right back down...

His classmates also raised their heads to look at him. When he said nothing, they followed his Guang to the front... and saw Tobirama standing there without a word...

"Keep cursing him out, Danzo! Why'd you stop? Let me tell you, that pervy monkey Hiruzen is no good. Just let him have it. That fucking guy... really can't compare to my dear Old Father Tobirama, so brave, invincible, peerless, and handsome..." Dave, who had been whispering with Tsukimi, heard Danzo stop cursing. How could he let that happen?

He stood up and urged Danzo to keep going. Before he could finish, Tsukimi tugged at the hem of his clothes and pointed toward the front. Dave's words cut off abruptly, instantly turning into praise for his dear Old Father.

"Shut up! Danzo, Dave, both of you Tael, get out!" Tobirama spoke coldly, his face expressionless.

The two partners in misery exchanged a glance and trudged out helplessly...

"Fuck, why didn't you say anything when my Old Father showed up?" Outside the Classroom, Dave complained, utterly speechless.

"How was I supposed to know...? I was battling Hiruzen. When I looked up, the teacher was already standing there." Danzo rolled his eyes at him irritably.

"Ugh, what good are any of you, then? You couldn't even notice the teacher coming in. Is your vigilance really that poor? How are you supposed to protect Konoha like this?" Dave borrowed Danzo's catchphrase and spoke with bitter disappointment.

Danzo: ...If I could beat you, I'd kill you right now...

"Danzo... We've never really had a proper chat, have we? Is there a girl you like?" Dave's expression changed, and he sidled up to Danzo with a mischievous look, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

"No. Women? Hah. They would only get in the way of my protecting Konoha," Danzo said disdainfully, turning his head away.

"No way. You... don't tell me... you like men? Could it be you and Hiruzen? Ugh!" Dave's obnoxious expression made Danzo want to slap him.

"...I'll kill you!! Dave!!!" Danzo froze at Dave's words, then his face abruptly cycled through a rainbow of colors, going from black to red, then red to purple...

Then, seemingly lashing out in embarrassment, Danzo began grappling with Dave.

Inside the Classroom, Tobirama was just wondering what to say when he heard the commotion outside. His face darkened again...

"Holy shit, Danzo, have you gone crazy? Not the face! I know I'm better-looking than your wrinkled Chrysanthemum Face, but you don't have to try to kill me!"

"I'll kill you!"

"Stop, stop! I was wrong, I was wrong! I won't tell anyone about the forbidden Love between you and Hiruzen Tael! I understand! I get it!"

Everyone in the Classroom froze, then turned strange looks toward Hiruzen at the back... Hiruzen's face darkened...

Listening to Dave shouting beneath him at no less than 150 decibels, Danzo suddenly seemed to feel someone watching him. He slowly turned his head... and met Tobirama's eyes...

Tobirama even swallowed with a solemn look... Danzo understood what that gaze meant... I never imagined you were that sort of boy, Danzo...

Then Danzo slowly turned his head back.

"Senju Dave!! Aaaah!! I swear I'll kill you today!!!"

When class let out at noon... Tsukimi hurried out of the Classroom and saw Dave completely unharmed, with Danzo surrounded by five Peashooters nearby. Only then did she breathe a sigh of relief. As long as Dave was all right.

Danzo: ?

Dave glanced at Danzo beside him. Danzo stared back with murder in his eyes. Dave snorted with laughter, then casually picked his nose with his right pinky.

Under Danzo's horrified gaze, he wiped his pinky on Danzo's clothes. Danzo's face turned green...

"I'm heading off, little Dan-Dan! Don't worry, these things will disappear in five minutes." Laughing heartily, Dave walked over to Tsukimi, took her hand in his left, and left.

"Senju Dave! Just you wait!!!" Just then, Hiruzen walked up beside Danzo. The two Tael exchanged a glance, then glared at Dave's retreating back and roared furiously.

Dave merely extended his right pinky and waved it through the air. Zang instantly lost it...

"Dave, is it really okay to bully Danzo like that?" Tsukimi asked, giggling as she recalled the scene.

"Hahaha, it's fine, it's fine." Dave smiled and waved it off.

That afternoon, thanks to Dave's shout outside the Classroom, rumors about Danzo and Hiruzen slowly began spreading through the academy and even the surrounding area.

One version claimed that Hiruzen had originally been a girl. Since he was the heir to the Sarutobi Clan, Sasuke Sarutobi had been deeply unhappy that his child was a girl, so he had used a Secret Technique to turn Hiruzen into a boy. What Sasuke Sarutobi hadn't known was that Hiruzen had already developed a very intimate relationship with the son of the Shimura Clan Leader. Seeing the girl he had once loved become a boy, Danzo had not rejected him, but had instead continued his lingering relationship with Hiruzen...

Another claimed that Danzo's father and Hiruzen's father had once been in love themselves, but societal pressure had forced them apart, leaving each to marry a woman he didn't love. As their sons, Danzo and Hiruzen had gotten to know each other during their fathers' frequent meetings, and just like their fathers, sparks of forbidden love had flown between them...

The stories grew more outrageous and twisted with every retelling. When Sasuke Sarutobi and Danzo's father heard these little folk tales, they became so furious that both ended up in the hospital's cardiology department...