You're Doing This for Real?

"Yay!" the girls immediately cheered.

Once they had quieted down, Su Xiaoxiao led everyone over to a wall. She leaned against it and said, "All right, I'll teach you the first move in Women's Self-Defense. What should we girls do if a bad guy traps us in a wall pin?"

"What else can you do?" some boy muttered under his breath. "If you can't fight it, learn to enjoy it."

"Hahaha..." All the students burst out laughing. Even Su Xiaoxiao couldn't help herself.

"All right, let's begin." Su Xiaoxiao suppressed her laughter, then beckoned to Hao Jun. "To make this easier to understand, we'll have Instructor Hao help me demonstrate."

"Huh?" Hao Jun's face immediately fell. "Can I say no? How about having Savage Bear do it instead?"

Su Xiaoxiao glared at him. "Just come over when I tell you to. Keep arguing, and you'd better watch what you eat from now on."

"Don't! I'll do it, okay?" Hao Jun immediately turned green. Su Xiaoxiao's nickname was "Venom-Tailed Scorpion," and she could poison someone without leaving a trace. If she ever got upset and slipped something into his food, it would be too late for tears.

Hao Jun walked over and planted both palms against the wall, enclosing Su Xiaoxiao between his arms in a textbook wall pin.

The pose was iconic, and all too suggestive. Every student watched eagerly, including Li Yichen and Ouyang Xuanxuan.

"When an attacker pins us against a wall, we mustn't panic," Su Xiaoxiao explained seriously. "Just cross your arms and slam them down hard. Take the chance to slip behind him, then..."

Su Xiaoxiao demonstrated as she explained, crossing her arms and slamming them down against the bends of Hao Jun's elbows.

Hao Jun played along perfectly. His arms buckled, and he immediately lost his balance and pitched forward.

Su Xiaoxiao took the opportunity to slip behind him and kick him in the backside.

"Argh!" Hao Jun cried out, sprawling against the wall.

"Hahaha..." The entire group doubled over with laughter.

"Of course, you don't have to copy me. You can take the chance to run, or use your fists. Even picking up a brick and whacking him with it works," Su Xiaoxiao added.

"Hahaha..." Another wave of laughter erupted from the crowd. This time, though, it was mostly the girls. The boys looked miserable. If the girls all learned this and one of them took a brick to him, who knew whether he'd ever get back up?

"All right." Once they had laughed enough, Su Xiaoxiao continued, "Now let's try it for real."

"Come here, sweetheart." Su Xiaoxiao beckoned to Hao Jun again.

Once Hao Jun had reluctantly assumed the pose, Su Xiaoxiao's expression instantly turned composed. She crossed her arms and slammed them down hard.

Then she slipped around to Hao Jun's side like a nimble cat and struck his neck with a Hand Chop.

Hao Jun turned his head blankly and asked in disbelief, "Lady, you're doing this for real?" Then his eyes rolled back, and he collapsed to the ground.

"See that?" Su Xiaoxiao showed him no sympathy whatsoever. Instead, she declared smugly, "See? Dealing with men is just that easy."

"Xiaoxiao, you're so cool!" All the girls jumped up and down, clapping and cheering.

Only Tang Ling'er seemed unimpressed. She was already an expert, so moves this simple held no interest for her.

"Now let's have a student try it." Su Xiaoxiao looked through the crowd, then pointed at Ouyang Xuanxuan. "Xuanxuan, come up here."

"Me?" Ouyang Xuanxuan pointed at herself in surprise, then waved her hands. "No, I can't."

"Why not?" Su Xiaoxiao asked with a smile. "You're the campus belle. Plenty of people want to pin you against a wall. You need to learn to protect yourself."

"Hahaha..." Another burst of laughter followed, and the girls around her pushed her out of the crowd.

"But..." Ouyang Xuanxuan looked utterly flustered, her face bright red.

"Now, who wants to play the attacker?" Su Xiaoxiao asked enticingly, even winking at the boys in the crowd.

That did it. Almost every boy stood up.

"Me... I'll do it... You have to pick me!"

"Why should she pick you? She should pick me!"

Seeing so many of them clamoring to play the attacker, Li Yichen felt inexplicably uncomfortable. Ouyang Xuanxuan's face had also gone a little pale, and she glanced at Li Yichen helplessly.

"You boys..." Su Xiaoxiao put her hands on her hips. "One look tells me you're up to no good. You're just trying to take advantage of her."

With their little schemes exposed, the boys laughed sheepishly and said in embarrassment, "You're the one who told us to play the attacker."

Pretending to be angry, Su Xiaoxiao said, "You're disqualified. I hereby announce that the attacker will be..."

She deliberately drew out her words, moving an outstretched finger back and forth across the crowd.

Everyone watched wide-eyed with anticipation, eager to see whom she would choose. Even Zheng Liang, standing off to the side, was no exception. He wasn't a monk, after all. He certainly wouldn't mind getting a little close to the campus belle.

Finally, Su Xiaoxiao suddenly turned and pointed at Li Yichen behind her.

"Let's have your 'Acting Counselor,' Li Yichen, do it," Su Xiaoxiao announced at last.

"Aww..." Every boy deflated like a punctured balloon.

When Ouyang Xuanxuan saw that Li Yichen had been chosen, she immediately breathed a sigh of relief. Color returned to her face, and she even felt a little anticipation.

"Come on, stop being so shy. Are you a man or not?" Li Yichen was a little embarrassed too, but Su Xiaoxiao dragged him over anyway.

"Watch carefully, everyone. Don't blame me if you fail to learn it," Su Xiaoxiao told the others with a smile.

Then she turned to Li Yichen and Ouyang Xuanxuan. "All right, you two can start."

"Shall we begin?" Li Yichen asked quietly.

"Mm." Ouyang Xuanxuan nodded gently, too embarrassed to look at him.

Ouyang Xuanxuan leaned back against the wall, and Li Yichen moved into a wall pin.

"Good." Su Xiaoxiao held back a smile as she explained from beside them, "Next, cross your arms."

Ouyang Xuanxuan quickly crossed her arms, then waited for the next instruction.

"Once your arms are crossed, slam them hard against the bends of the attacker's elbows," Su Xiaoxiao continued.

"Mm." Ouyang Xuanxuan took a deep breath, then slammed her arms down.

Li Yichen felt only a light touch against his arms. There was barely any sensation at all. He froze. Can she really escape an attacker with so little strength?

His freezing up was no big deal in itself, but it made Ouyang Xuanxuan blush furiously.

So she mustered all her strength and slammed down again. He still didn't budge.

"What's going on?" The students watching were baffled too. "Li Yichen doesn't know how to play along. I should've gone up instead."

Su Xiaoxiao glared at Li Yichen, thinking, You little brat, you're way too clueless. No wonder you're single.