Jian Chuyun was so furious her nose nearly twisted out of shape. She had barely maintained her gentle, virtuous pose for half an incense stick's worth of time before it threatened to crumble.
Abandoning all decorum, she snapped, "Fifth Sister, are you jealous that I'm marrying so well?"
Jian Ruonan pinched her fingers into an orchid pose, mimicking her earlier manner, and deliberately put on a syrupy voice. "Yes, your little sister is so jealous of you! The heir is thirty-eight, with several sons already, and his eldest son is even older than you. Once you marry him, you'll have endless blessings to enjoy."
Men stop being able to perform after forty. He's already thirty-eight-can he even consummate the marriage?
I heard an old man consummating a marriage is like an old geezer eating a lychee: he cracks the shell with his gums, then sucks away with his tongue. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me sick.
Jian Chuyun: "..."
Young Shi-shi: "..."
Min: Nan Nan's Light Screen hasn't lit up, but why do I already have an image in my head that won't go away?!
Teng asked Min quietly, "Mother, what does an old man sucking a lychee mean?"
Min: "A lychee is a fruit. What else could it mean?!"
"Don't overthink it!"
Teng: Hmph, another thing only those rotten grown-ups get to know!
Jian Chuyun and Young Shi-shi were too furious to speak.
Jian Chuyun, in particular, nearly passed out from rage.
Old Madam wiped the cold sweat from her forehead, grateful that her brain hadn't short-circuited today and led her to provoke this living scourge.
With no one paying her any attention, Jian Ruonan happily feasted on gossip inside her head-
Holy crap, the Prince of Zhennan's heir has already had two wives die!
*Put nicely, he's