"But I dreamed you got struck by lightning, so many, many bolts. They fried you crisp outside and tender inside... no, charred outside and inside, the kind you could use as firewood."
"Waaah... you big idiot! Why did you call the Heavenly Dao a bastard? Why did you give him the middle finger? Have you got a lump in your brain?"
Liu Shuyue cried so hard that tears flew everywhere. At the height of her sobbing, she grabbed his hair and tugged wildly.
"Even your hair got burned off! You big idiot!"
Zhou Yunshen ducked his head in pain, swaying with her left hand one moment, then following her left hand again the next.
Huahua offered a quiet word of advice: [Host, if you keep pulling, even if the lightning doesn't make him bald, you'll give him a Mediterranean monk's crown.]
Liu Shuyue sniffled and cupped Zhou Yunshen's face, her eyes red.
"Swear that no matter what, you won't curse the Heavenly Dao or give him the middle finger, and definitely won't go looking for lightning to strike you. From now on, whenever there's a thunderstorm, stay far, far away."
Zhou Yunshen didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
He and Liu Shuyue were husband and wife, and direct beneficiaries of the Heavenly Dao's favor. Why would he curse the Heavenly Dao for no reason?
He nodded. "I swear. If I break my oath, may heaven strike me with light-"
"Nonsense!"
Liu Shuyue covered his mouth and said sternly, "I told you to avoid lightning! Why won't you listen? Hurry and spit, spit. Send all that bad luck away."
Spit... spit...?
Bewildered, Zhou Yunshen spat to one side. "Like this?"
"You're not taking it seriously or putting any force into it. Like this!"
Liu Shuyue got off him and spat