Zhou Yunshen felt rather helpless.
The residence's walls were two meters high. Could her little frame really make it over?
Jiang Shuyue vowed confidently, [System, watch closely. Tonight, I'll show you how to scale a towering wall barehanded!]
The system: [...]
After cadging lunch in the study, Jiang Shuyue happily went back to plan her wall-climbing expedition.
Zhou Yunshen shook his head helplessly. "She wants to climb a wall with that tiny frame? Isn't she afraid of breaking a leg? Shiye, I have a score to settle with your imperial uncle tonight. Keep an eye on her for me."
Zhou Shiye had appeared beside him at some point, a teatime snack Jiang Shuyue had sent over dangling from his mouth.
Zhou Yunshen rarely saw him behave with so little decorum.
Rather than getting angry, he felt a little gratified. His eldest son finally seemed human.
"Check how high the wall is. If it's too high, leave a ladder there."
"Understood, Father. I'll keep a detailed record and make sure you don't miss a single juicy tidbit."
Zhou Yunshen nodded in satisfaction.
His wonderful eldest son never let him down!
After waiting for ages, Jiang Shuyue finally saw dusk fall.
The servants around her tactfully made themselves scarce.
Carrying a lantern, Jiang Shuyue reached the wall. The other side was quiet, making the occasional curses particularly jarring.
Jiang Shuyue: [System, listen. That person seems to be cursing me. Is that tonight's target?]
The system: [No. They're just jealous that you're not particularly pretty, yet you alone have won the Great Villain's favor.]
Jiang Shuyue: [I'm not pretty? They must be blind! But how am I supposed to get over such a high wall?]
The system turned her head to the right.
A ladder!
She nimbly climbed up, silently thanking the kind soul who had forgotten to put the ladder away.
The main room was still lit. Following the light, Jiang Shuyue crept over to the foot of its wall.
Jiang Shuyue raised a finger, licked it, and carefully poked a hole through the window paper to peek inside.
The system: [You're here for gossip. Why are you peeping?]
Jiang Shuyue: [You don't understand. It's called atmosphere! How could a midnight wall-climbing adventure be complete without peeping? Besides, that young lady has such a lovely figure. If I don't look... holy-he's a young man!]
The person inside shed his outer clothes, revealing a strange dudou underneath.
It seemed to have steel wires attached, holding two... steamed buns in place!
Jiang Shuyue was certain she hadn't seen wrong.
That soft, milky-white color, coupled with the distinctive sheen of steamed-bun skin-there was no mistaking it.
Jiang Shuyue: [So this little beauty has that sort of hobby... uh... how should I put it? It's certainly unique. I wonder whether he put them in fresh from the steamer or waited until they cooled.]
The system: [His name is Baili Dong. He was originally the Young Pavilion Master of the Thousand Mechanisms Pavilion. His looks make it impossible to tell whether he's male or female, so he's swallowed plenty of humiliation since childhood.]
[He hates being called beautiful more than anything. But that beauty also makes him perfect for dressing as a woman and gathering intelligence wherever he goes.]
Jiang Shuyue: [Is he here to gather intelligence on the Marquis's Residence this time?]
The system: [He was originally undercover in the Imperial Palace, gathering military intelligence, but the emperor mistakenly sent him here. Never mind that for now. Let's get to his juicy secrets first.]
[Although Baili Dong is a master cross-dresser, he's a man's man at heart. That's why he married early and even took two concubines.]
[Unfortunately, perhaps because he's too eye-catching, things in that department haven't been entirely satisfactory. His wife and two concubines spend every day plotting how to avoid him.]
Filled with regret and sympathy, Jiang Shuyue said, [So that's it. He looks so dainty; that part must be rather miniature too... poor thing.]
Baili Dong seethed, nearly lashing out.
He had already heard her thoughts while she was climbing the wall outside his courtyard.
According to his information, Jiang Shuyue was no ordinary person.
Since the emperor had sent him here anyway, he had decided to investigate her thoroughly.
He hadn't expected this woman to deliver not mere surprises, but exploding bombshells!
What did she mean, avoiding him?
Wasn't he good to his wife and concubines?
Pearls and agates, delicacies from mountain and sea-whatever they wanted, he gave them.
And he wasn't miniature! Not in the slightest!
The system: [It's not because he's miniature, actually.]
Realization dawned on Jiang Shuyue. [Then he doesn't last long enough! He can't compare to the Great Villain there. Though he always lasts so long that my back and waist ache the next day, and I've even passed out a few times. If you could average the two of them out, that would be better.]
Baili Dong nearly crushed the wine cup in his hand in fury.
Damn her.
She was the one who didn't last. She lasted the least!
The system: [That's not it either. In fact, he lasts a long time, but he's so domineering that his wife and concubines suffer terribly. It's not just aching backs and waists-they practically need ointment afterward.]
[Besides, generous as Baili Dong is to them, what woman wants to bang someone prettier than herself?]
Jiang Shuyue: [...I feel personally attacked!]
The system: [But that's not even the main issue. Every time he goes out, he leaves a whole crowd of men swooning. A few men followed his scent right to their door and nearly beat his wife and concubines black-and-blue. Just imagine: powerful nobles and heroes you've never heard of forcing you to hand over your husband so they can marry him. Can you believe that kind of misery?]
Jiang Shuyue didn't know whether she could believe it, but at least she couldn't relate to that particular misery at present.
The future was another matter.
Baili Dong clutched his sleeves tightly to keep himself from charging over and beating someone up.
Had he asked for any of this? He didn't want it either!
The system: [His wife and concubines even had to give those men cash gifts afterward. Their already shriveled purses shriveled further, so they'd rather not see him at all than invite trouble.]
[But he still provoked one particularly tough customer: Zhao Wujie, the commanding general of the Northwestern Army last year. The man originally preferred women, but the day he learned Baili Dong was male, he was forcibly bent the other way.]
[He even declared, "I don't care whether you're a man or a woman. You're the one I, Zhao Wujie, love!"]
[General Zhao is searching everywhere for him now. If he hadn't hidden in the Imperial Palace, he'd probably already be the treasure in that man's palm!]
A captive-wife romance-she loved that!
If there were an omega involved, it would be even better!
Jiang Shuyue clicked her tongue and sighed. [If only he could have children. With a beauty like him, his babies would definitely be gorgeous!]
Baili Dong was exhausted in body and soul.
Zhao Wujie was a lunatic. He hadn't wanted any of this, all right?
Who could have known that learning he was male would only make that fellow burn even hotter?
His relentless pursuit was like a dog sinking its teeth into meat-nothing could make him let go!
The system: [Agreed. But his brothers aren't much better. His eldest brother is big and burly, yet a complete girly girl inside. He always acts incredibly rugged, but whenever he sees Baili Dong, he's inwardly squealing.]
[Third Younger Brother is so beautiful! Third Younger Brother is so wonderful! Third Younger Brother is the best! When will he look my way? Aaaah, he looked at me! I could die of happiness!]
Jiang Shuyue had a vague sense that something was off. [Are you sure that's squealing, and not wanting to kneel down and lick Third Younger Brother's boots?]
Before you continue