"No, it was my sister who first..."
"Little sister, even if you didn't like it, you shouldn't have hit me! I... boohoo, what am I supposed to do now?"
The whole point was to speak up!
Jiang Shuyue seized the initiative and started crying.
To make sure she looked pretty and pitiful when she cried today, she had specifically asked Little Peach to give her peach-blossom makeup before leaving.
Once her tears flowed, her whole face looked rosy and soft, like a peach someone had pinched.
One that hadn't been squashed yet.
"Mother, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have brought back something bestowed by His Majesty. Now that it's broken, what am I going to do?"
"What? Bestowed by His Majesty!"
Jiang Mother felt ready to kill someone.
Damaging an imperial gift was a capital offense!
The system felt that its host's talent for deception had reached new heights.
Across all of history, few people had dared to make a joke of the emperor.
The old madam was badly frightened too. "You... you wretched girl! How dare you parade through the streets wearing an imperial gift? Are you trying to leave our entire family without a moment's peace?"
"But Uncle Emperor said he liked seeing me wear pretty jewelry because it looked festive. He even specifically told me to wear it to Her Majesty's birthday celebration, to show the boundless grace of the throne."
The system said, [Host, aren't you afraid of provoking the Son of Heaven's wrath by making a joke of him?]
Jiang Shuyue wasn't afraid at all. [His Majesty looks rather dopey. He probably wouldn't mind such a little thing.]
Dopey? The emperor?
Jiang Mother was on the verge of fainting.
He was the youngest emperor in history!
Rumor had it that he had sworn brotherhood with others before he was even ten. At eighteen, he and those sworn brothers had slain the Regent Prince together, wiping out every last member of the Regent Prince's faction.
The stench of blood hanging over the capital hadn't faded for months.
She had just come of age that year, and the memory remained vivid.
Yet her daughter had actually called a man like that dopey.
Was she sure her daughter's head was all right?
Jiang Liuli sobbed. "But my sister deliberately provoked me with her words! And she was the one who smashed it. It had nothing to do with me!"
"Whatever you say, little sister. It's already broken anyway. If His Majesty investigates, all I can do is tell the truth."
Wait, what truth are you planning to tell? That I broke it?
Jiang Liuli hated herself for never realizing how detestable her sister was before!
Jiang Shuyue secretly rejoiced. [You little green-tea schemer, feels lovely getting a taste of your own tea, doesn't it? System, hurry and check whether my Green Tea Points have gone up.]
[You're almost at two hundred and fifty. Keep it up. I have faith in you!]
Jiang Shuyue smiled to herself, then stepped forward and took Jiang Liuli's hand.
"Sister, what are you going to do now?"
"Don't worry, little sister. I know you didn't mean it. When I see His Majesty, I'll definitely put in a good word for you. If that doesn't work, I'll ask the marquis to intervene."
"Oh, you haven't heard yet, have you? The marquis is very close to the Fourth Prince, and Her Majesty is the Fourth Prince's mother. With him helping, I'm sure you'll come through unscathed."
Jiang Shuyue thought, [Didn't you want to become a Princess Consort? I'll let you get acquainted with the Fourth Prince ahead of time. Thank me, little sister!]
Jiang Mother chuckled inwardly.
If the Fourth Prince really heard about this, Jiang Liuli would probably never have any hope of entering the palace again.
Her daughter was quite clever.
Jiang Liuli realized this too, and her little face instantly turned deathly pale.
Her path to the clouds lay right before her. She couldn't let it be cut off, no matter what!
"Sister, you mustn't tell the Fourth Prince about this. I'm still unmarried. If my reputation is ruined, I... I won't go on living! Boohoo..."
Jiang Shuyue actually thought she would be better off dead.
But she hadn't saved up enough Green Tea Points yet. Letting Jiang Liuli die just like that would let her off far too easily.
"I could agree, but you'll have to show some sincerity."
"How about this? I'll go to the Imperial Palace right now. You light some incense and kneel facing the Imperial Palace. Once His Majesty gives his verbal decree, you can get up. What do you think?"
"Well..."
Jiang Liuli couldn't make up her mind, mainly because she couldn't bear to sacrifice her knees.
Jiang Mother snapped, "You smashed an imperial gift! Making you kneel is already letting you off lightly! If His Majesty condemns you, even the Jiang Family won't be able to protect you!"
"Well... Mother, you've misunderstood me. I only hesitated because I feared that doing this wouldn't show enough sincerity."
The old madam also spoke up for her. "Exactly. Don't blame Liuli. That wasn't what she meant."
"Then I misjudged Liuli. In that case, there's no need for a cushion. Someone, take the second young miss outside to kneel on the Blue Stone Road. She is not to rise without an imperial decree."
The system said, [Just so you know, your family's Blue Stone Road isn't an ordinary bluestone road. Back then, your two uncles deliberately mixed cobblestones and broken gravel into it to screw your father over. Kneeling on it really hurts!]
Screw? Oh... those two uncles have some seriously heavy tastes!
Jiang Mother gave her personal serving matron a meaningful look, and the matron understood at once.
Since this was an appeal for the emperor's forgiveness, naturally, they had to observe the highest standards.
How could ordinary incense demonstrate sincerity? Naturally, they needed an enormous stick that towered into the heavens!
The system said, [Look, your grandmother's eyes are practically popping out! But she has glaucoma, astigmatism, and eight hundred degrees of myopia. If she hadn't developed farsightedness in her old age, she probably wouldn't even be able to make out your face now.]
Jiang Shuyue thought, [No wonder her smile always looks so ugly when she sees me. It suits her face perfectly.]
The system nodded. [This old woman may be ugly, but her fantasies are beautiful. Even at thirty, she was still drooling over young men, only to have their mothers point right at her nose and curse her out.]
[She also loves using her mouth to strip the bones from chicken feet, then feeding them to your father. He really relishes them.]
Ugh... he can stomach something that flavorful? His tastes really are heavy.
Jiang Shuyue stole a glance at Jiang Mother. [My mother and father must have kissed, right? Round it up, and that's practically the same as kissing Grandmother. Oh, Mother, you poor thing!]
Jiang Mother nearly threw up. No matter how well-mannered she was, she couldn't stop herself from cursing now.
Who the hell kissed that old hag? Pah!
From now on, neither that old crone nor that bastard Jiang An would ever be allowed to lay a finger on her!
As Jiang Shuyue left, she deliberately detoured past Jiang Liuli to admire her foolish appearance.
"Little sister, keep your back straight and your heart sincere while you kneel. Only then will His Majesty's anger subside."
"You're the daughter of the minister's household. You mustn't disgrace Father."
Endure. I have to endure!
Jiang Liuli forced a smile. "Thank you for the reminder, Sister. I'll be sure to kneel properly."
"Then thank you for your efforts, little sister. I'll be right back."
Jiang Shuyue skipped toward the gate. The system couldn't understand it. [Are you really going into the palace? If the emperor finds out you're deceiving him, that's a capital offense. Don't say I didn't warn you. You only have this one chance at life. There won't be another.]
Jiang Shuyue was speechless. [Do I look stupid to you? The Jiang Family won't dare say anything, and I won't go looking for trouble either.]
The system grew even more curious. [Then how are you going to wrap this up?]
Jiang Shuyue thought the system was rather stupid. Why did it even need to ask about something so simple?
[How am I going to wrap it up? Ignore her and let her kneel! Once she kneels until she faints, that'll wrap it up!]
Before you continue