Jiang Liuli's hair visibly stood on end.
Her status as a daughter of the Jiang Family was her shield, as well as her capital for throwing her weight around.
The Jiang Family had publicly declared that it had two young ladies.
Exposing the truth now was no different from delivering a ringing slap to their faces.
Jiang Liuli felt ready to kill.
"Oh dear, sorry, that slipped out wrong. But whether you share the Jiang Family's blood or not, we'll still treat you as our own. After all, you've spent so long with the Jiang Family, little sister. Raise someone long enough, and feelings are bound to grow."
"You must be joking, elder sister. We share the same blood. Saying that hurts our sisterly bond."
"Our bond? Heh-heh."
Jiang Shuyue ended the subject with a strange little laugh.
Jiang Liuli bristled even harder.
Argue with me! Shout at me! What's that 'heh-heh' supposed to mean? How am I supposed to respond?
Jiang Shuyue couldn't care less. [System, did you see how she choked on that? She looks like a big dumb bird that swallowed a toad. I'm dying of laughter!]
The system wanted to advise her to rein it in. After all, Consort Shu's gaze was already venomous enough to poison someone.
But it couldn't, because it wanted to laugh too.
[I think she looks more like a toad that swallowed shit. Look, even her face is twisting out of shape. There goes her one redeeming feature!]
[Yes, yes, you're absolutely right, System!]
Woman and system roared with laughter, utterly unconcerned about anyone else's survival.
Chu Xin'er: Could you two rein it in? I'm about to lose it.
Consort Shu smiled. "The Jiang sisters are so close. It makes the Palace quite envious."
[System, is something wrong with Consort Shu's eyesight? Where exactly does she see us being close?]
The system replied, [That's called telling bald-faced lies with your eyes wide open. Ignore her.]
Yes, yes, everything the system says is right.
Jiang Shuyue stuffed a pastry into her mouth, her cheeks bulging like a little squirrel's.
"Your Highness, I have a presumptuous request. Might you grant it?"
"Speak freely."
"I heard that my elder sister also prepared a performance. Please give her a chance to show her talents, Your Highness."
"Oh? Then the Palace is very much looking forward to it. Wife of the Marquis of Zhennan, please."
The system said, [The little green tea schemer wants to set you up. Want to go recite some poetry and scare them to death?]
Jiang Shuyue replied, [No need, no need. It's just a talent show, isn't it? I've got plenty in reserve. I guarantee the old hag and the little green tea schemer will be satisfied.]
The little green tea schemer was Jiang Liuli, which meant the old hag was...
Everyone stole a glance at Consort Shu.
They had once thought her beautiful and dignified, but now...
They wouldn't dare say whether she was old, but she certainly left a strong stink.
"Since everyone wants to watch, I won't keep it under wraps. Attendants, bring me a big boulder."
The servants brought over a large boulder. Jiang Shuyue lay down on the floor and patted her belly.
"Here, put it here. Smash it as hard as you can!"
"Wait! Wife of the Marquis of Zhennan, what are you doing?"
Jiang Shuyue said, "Didn't you want to see a performance, Your Highness? I happen to have learned how to smash a boulder on my chest. I haven't tried it in practice yet, but I've thoroughly mastered the theory."
Consort Shu was dumbstruck.
She dared perform it without ever practicing? Did this girl have a death wish?
The little bitch dying was no great matter, but dying here would be a huge problem.
That Killing God, Zhou Yunshen, would tear her entire hall apart.
"No need, no need. The thought alone is enough. The Palace appreciates your kindness."
Jiang Shuyue thought, [Trying to back out? Not a chance!]
"You must be joking, Your Highness. I learned this specifically to celebrate your birthday. If you refuse to watch, wouldn't that let all my good intentions go to waste?"
"And don't worry, Your Highness. My master said that as long as your body is sturdy enough, you won't die. At worst, you'll just cough up a couple of mouthfuls of blood."
"It would be my honor to cough up blood for you. Once I'm home, I'll be sure to write today's events into eighty-one episodes and have the storytellers at Tianqiao recount them day and night without stopping."
"I'm ready. Go ahead!"
Consort Shu nearly fainted.
Never mind surviving-even a scraped patch of skin could put her head on the line.
Consort Shu almost wanted to drop to her knees and beg this formidable lady for mercy.
"Wife of the Marquis of Zhennan, the Palace truly appreciates your kindness. That boulder is dirty. Be careful not to ruin your clothes. Get up, quickly."
"But this is the only talent I prepared. If you won't let me perform, Your Highness, I'll feel upset."
"Enough, enough!"
Consort Shu hurried over to help her up. "Let's count it as though the Palace has already seen it. It's quite all right."
"Really? Then tell me, Your Highness, is my boulder-smashing performance more impressive, or is my little sister's song better?"
The silence was deafening in its speechlessness.
She hadn't even performed yet. How was anyone supposed to judge?
Besides, the poetry was first-rate, while smashing boulders on one's chest was third-rate street entertainment. Could the two even be compared?
"Is it hard to judge because you haven't witnessed it yourself, Consort Shu? That's all right. I'll let you see it with your own eyes. It's only an outfit, anyway. I have plenty, and the marquis won't blame me."
Consort Shu hastily pulled her back and spoke against her conscience. "Of course your performance is more impressive."
"The Palace has grown tired of poetry and songs. How could they compare to you?"
"Those are all vulgar things. Yours is so fresh and above the mundane."
The system said, [The little green tea schemer's face has gone dark. Green Tea Points increased by 100%. Including Consort Shu's contribution, your current total is 300%.]
Jiang Shuyue replied, [Who would've thought Consort Shu's Green Tea Points would be so high? Is the conversion rate higher because she's at a higher tier?]
If she couldn't figure it out, she might as well stop trying.
Jiang Shuyue linked arms with Consort Shu. "I felt close to you the moment I saw you, Your Highness. If you don't mind, I'd like us to become sworn sisters. Would that be all right?"
"S-sworn sisters?"
Everyone thought, You're not playing by the rules!
Little Jiang: What rules? Never heard of them.
"I'm the eldest daughter in my family, so I've never experienced an elder sister's love. Meeting you felt like meeting an old friend, Consort Shu, and I'd like us to become sworn sisters. Surely you wouldn't reject me?"
Jiang Shuyue blinked furiously. Surely not, surely not? Just try saying one word of refusal.
If she didn't refuse, she would gain another sister who made her skin crawl.
If she refused, Zhou Yunshen's great saber was thirsting for blood.
Consort Shu forced herself to smile. "Y-yes, of course. Let's become sworn sisters, then."
"Then from now on, you're my big sister. Liuli, come over and greet your elder sister."
What? What did this have to do with her?
Before Jiang Liuli could make sense of it, murderous intent had already flared in Consort Shu's eyes.
Well, well. So this was where she'd been lying in wait for me!
The system said, [You could just become sworn sisters with her yourself. Why drag Jiang Liuli into it? Aren't you afraid she'll use it to trample you?]
Jiang Shuyue replied, [You don't get it, do you? I'm her elder sister, and now I'm Consort Shu's sworn sister. By equivalent exchange, Jiang Liuli is also her sworn younger sister. That puts them in the same generation. Since they're peers, how could the Fourth Prince, who's a generation below them, have the nerve to ask for her hand?]
[Besides, after this, Consort Shu will absolutely loathe me. Whenever she sees Jiang Liuli, she'll think of me. Will she ever give her a pleasant look?]
[This is called cashing in at both ends. Get it?]
The system understood, and so did everyone else.
They couldn't help feeling chilled to the bone.
They had thought she was a little bundle of joy, but she turned out to be a cudgel.
The sort that split your skull and made your brains bloom with a single blow.
Consort Shu, you'd better pray for your own good fortune.
Before you continue