Lin Xuanzhen felt as though he were transparent, as though Heavenly Venerable Daoling could see straight through him. He stood rooted to the spot, uneasy.
After studying him for a while, Heavenly Venerable Daoling suddenly smiled. "Your aptitude is quite good. Those youngsters certainly put some thought into this, sending you here specially to deliver something!"
"Great Ancestor, I-!"
"No need to explain. Do you think I don't know what those youngsters are up to?" Heavenly Venerable Daoling cut him off, unconcerned. He waved a hand and continued, "Very well! It's rare for our Lin Family to produce someone with such good aptitude. Judging by your features, you also look like someone who could amount to something great. Come to my Heavenly Capital Peak in a couple of days! I'll have my disciples guide you in cultivating spells. Once you reach the Golden Core Stage, I'll take you as my disciple!"
"Thank you, Great Ancestor!" Lin Xuanzhen was overjoyed.
"Keep this token safe, and report there in a couple of days!" Heavenly Venerable Daoling handed him a square jade token with an openwork carving of a mountain peak.
"Yes! Thank you, Great Ancestor!" Wildly delighted, Lin Xuanzhen accepted the jade token and carefully put it away.
"Hehe! When did you come to the Heavenly Dao Sect?"
"This disciple joined half a year ago!"
"How has our Lin Family in Peaceful Valley been doing lately...?"
Leaving aside Lin Xuanzhen and Heavenly Venerable Daoling as they chatted about family matters, Li Xiaoya had hidden himself in the secret chamber and was sitting on the toilet, actually relieving himself. Meanwhile, he communicated with the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma in his mind. Guagua! Are you sure this will work?
"It'll be fine. In a moment, I'll possess this toilet. Unless that great cultivator Daoling examines it closely, he'll never notice," the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma said confidently.
Good, then. If you get caught, it's got nothing to do with me! Li Xiaoya thought.
"Don't worry. Even if I get caught, I won't be able to tell on you!" the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma said gloomily.
Hey! I'm really going to do my business now! Hehe! Li Xiaoya chuckled.
"To us plants, animal droppings are fertilizer!"
*...*
I just thought of a serious problem! Li Xiaoya suddenly said.
"What problem?"
I didn't bring any toilet paper!
"It's all fertilizer anyway. You humans are so fussy."
Uh...!
"Hey! Heavenly Venerable Daoling doesn't even have a privy, so he certainly won't have any toilet paper. What am I supposed to do?" Li Xiaoya muttered to himself, his eyes darting around in search of something to wipe with. But the secret chamber was completely empty apart from a bed.
"Ah! I've got it!" Li Xiaoya suddenly noticed his tattered trousers and forcefully tore off half a trouser leg...
"Finally solved that problem!" Li Xiaoya let out a long breath, fastened his belt, and closed the lid.
"Finished? I won't show myself, or that great cultivator Daoling will notice. Put your hand on the side of the bucket. I'll transfer straight into it. Don't talk to me after that!" the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma instructed.
Li Xiaoya placed his hand on the side of the toilet, then suddenly thought, Guagua! Where will you go after you leave? Where can I find you?
"I'll go to Great Wilderness Valley. Come find me once your cultivation is sufficiently advanced!" the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma said.
Great Wilderness Valley! All right! I'll remember! Li Xiaoya agreed happily.
"I'm off!"
As the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma's voice rang out in Li Xiaoya's mind, he felt something like a current of air flow through his entire body and out through the fingers touching the toilet's rim. Before long, it vanished.
Guagua! Guagua! Li Xiaoya tried calling to the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma in his mind, but there was no further response. Presumably, the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma had already entered the wooden bucket. He straightened his waistband and walked out. Spotting Heavenly Venerable Daoling and Lin Xuanzhen talking in the distance, he called as he approached, "Ah! That felt so good! I nearly went in my trousers. Buddy, your delivery couldn't have come at a better time!"
"..."
Heavenly Venerable Daoling and Lin Xuanzhen were speechless. This fellow had absolutely no awareness that he was merely a mortal.
"Hey! That wasn't very decent of you, little Daoist. You delivered a toilet without any wiping paper! Look, these trousers are ruined now. You owe me a pair!" Li Xiaoya said, kicking out the leg whose trouser fabric was now half missing.
Lin Xuanzhen's face alternated between red and white. He was an immortal cultivator, after all. Making a toilet today had already been humiliating enough, and now this mortal was mocking him and demanding compensation for his trousers. If not for his Great Ancestor, he would have already driven a flying sword through the fellow and left two great holes in him.
"Hmph! Enough nonsense!" Heavenly Venerable Daoling barked coldly, though inwardly he thought, If you didn't have the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma possessing your body, brat, I wouldn't even bother with you.
"Uh! Fine, I'll stop talking! When are you going to take that thing out, anyway? I'm going stir-crazy in this place!" Li Xiaoya drawled.
"That's none of your concern. Just stay here and behave!" Heavenly Venerable Daoling waved a hand, then turned to Lin Xuandao. "Xuandao! You may leave now!"
"Yes, Great Ancestor!" Lin Xuandao respectfully took his leave.
Before he had taken more than a couple of steps, Heavenly Venerable Daoling spoke again behind him. "Oh, right! Take that toilet out and throw it away while you're at it!"
"Wh-what?" Lin Xuandao's face flushed crimson, then turned pale. With ten thousand objections stuck in his throat, he answered, "Yes." His head drooping, he walked toward the secret chamber, thinking, I wondered why Great Ancestor had time to chat about family matters with me. He just wanted to keep me here to carry the toilet! What rotten luck! Why doesn't he make that mortal carry it?
"Hehe!" Li Xiaoya snickered at his misfortune from the side.
Just then, Lin Xuandao hurried out of the secret chamber, pinching his nose. Seeing Li Xiaoya gloating, he shot him a fierce glare.
Li Xiaoya pulled a face at him. Lin Xuandao's face turned fiery red again, and his eyes practically spat flames. You'd better never fall into my hands, mortal. If you do, I'll make you carry toilets every single day!
Leaving aside Lin Xuandao's plans to make Li Xiaoya carry toilets, for now he was still the one carrying it with his nose pinched. Under Li Xiaoya's wickedly grinning gaze, he disappeared through the cave abode's entrance.
Watching Lin Xuandao disappear through the cave abode's entrance, Heavenly Venerable Daoling sighed softly. Had an ordinary disciple come, he could simply have told him to wait, and the disciple would have obediently carried the toilet away. Unfortunately, Lin Xuandao was a descendant of his own Lin Family, forcing him to waste words chatting about family affairs. His eyes shifted to Li Xiaoya's beaming face, and irritation rose within him. "What are you lingering here for? Hurry back to that secret chamber!"
"Uh! Daoist Daoling, why did you have that little Daoist take the toilet away? I might need it again tonight!" Li Xiaoya said deliberately.
"Go back and behave yourself. Senior Brother Buddha should be back soon. Once we've extracted the Five-Element Rainbow Ganoderma, you'll go to the Merit Transmission Hall down the mountain. Do you think my cave abode is somewhere you can stay as you please?" Heavenly Venerable Daoling said flatly.
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