Something's Not Right About My Funeral
Chapter 25

"Gold Medal Support Plan"

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Life countdown

Zhang Youzhi had been transferred to the hospital. After several hours of emergency surgery, he had just been wheeled out of the operating room and into intensive care.

Looking at the machines in front of him and the busy medical staff, Zhang Youzhi could not help sighing.

"I did everything I could to stay away, and they still brought me here before I died."

"Huh? What did you say?" Wearing a full set of sterile clothing, He Min leaned beside the bed, watching Zhang Youzhi mumble away through his breathing mask.

Zhang Youzhi simply pulled the mask off.

"He Min, why is it so noisy outside?" Looking quite lively, Zhang Youzhi pointed outside the room.

"It's all reporters. You're famous now." He Min's eyes were still swollen, but she smiled through her tears, looking rather pretty.

The sight made Zhang Youzhi's heart tremble.

It was not that He Min was particularly beautiful, but that he saw a trace of Li Douyu in her. In the past, whenever Li Douyu had been mistreated, she would cry like this and ask him to stand up for her.

"Reporters? What do you mean, I'm famous?" Zhang Youzhi suddenly had a bad feeling.

"You're famous, that's what. This was the biggest crackdown in years. That rotten web of collusion between officials, businessmen, and criminals in Crane City was uprooted in one fell swoop. If you hadn't accidentally gathered all those criminals in one place, how could it have gone so smoothly? Even the television station from the Provincial Capital is waiting to interview you. If you manage to stay alive and well, they might even make a documentary."

Remembering what the doctor had told her about his condition, He Min turned her head away again.

"Oh... then they don't know who I am, right?" Zhang Youzhi remained remarkably calm and began considering the repercussions.

"They all say your name is Zhang Youzhi. The police asked me about you, and whether I was a relative, but I've only known you for a few days. How would I know who you are?" With her back to him, He Min's voice began to tremble with tears again.

"Help me out. Don't let the media reveal my name, and definitely don't let them release any photos of me."

Before He Min could answer, another person came through the door wearing sterile clothing.

"Step outside for a moment." The newcomer patted He Min on the shoulder.

When Zhang Youzhi saw who it was, he also told He Min to leave.

After He Min had gone outside, Number Two sat beside Zhang Youzhi's bed.

Without the sunglasses in the way, Zhang Youzhi saw the man's face for the first time. He looked much as Zhang Youzhi had imagined: a gaunt face and unnaturally pale skin, without a trace of healthy color. His eyes were deeply sunken, with dark circles around them, making him look as though he had spent years staying up all night.

"If even you're here, I guess I won't live past today." Zhang Youzhi gave a self-mocking smile.

"Mm... Zhang Youzhi, I have some rather bad news. Would you like to hear it?" Number Two focused on Zhang Youzhi's eyes.

"Go ahead."

"It's about your girlfriend..."

Zhang Youzhi immediately snapped to attention and asked anxiously.

"What happened to her?"

Number Two skirted the main issue. "This story was too big. Through our intervention, all photographs and footage of you in the live news coverage were blurred on grounds such as graphic content and privacy. In the reporters' coverage, you were given the alias Li Zhi."

"And then?" Zhang Youzhi was still anxious.

Number Two continued, "The biggest problem came from the security cameras in the entertainment complex's lobby. Somehow, the footage was leaked. Besides making that Martial Artist Heir famous, the video also showed you, although the image was very blurry."

"We acted promptly and blurred your facial features, but the video itself and what you did have already gone viral on short-video platforms. Now the video of you ambushing the gang boss is circulating all over the internet. You're even more popular than that expert. After all, you're the one who represents ordinary people... it's already become very difficult for us to contain this tidal wave of public attention."

"So?"

"Your girlfriend has noticed this and shown considerable concern and suspicion. Fortunately, our phone representative managed to put her off."

"And then?"

"She decided to come looking for you. She's on her way to Songjiang City, the address you casually gave her at the time."

Zhang Youzhi fell silent, and Number Two continued.

"Our phone representative couldn't talk her out of it. Any more persuasion would have made her suspicious. Our hypnotist is already on the way to intercept her and will hypnotize her en route.

In recognition of your outstanding contribution to public safety during this incident, our company has made a special decision to implement the [Gold Medal Support Plan] for her. We will activate the Elite Romance Line, Elite Friendship Line, and Elite Career Line simultaneously, providing comprehensive support on all three fronts in conjunction with our newly launched Hypnosis Expert Service.

First, we will perform comprehensive subconscious hypnosis on her, making her forget you for a short time and forget that she has a boyfriend. Then her new friends will step in, with romance experts among them who will begin pursuing your girlfriend. On that foundation, we will also introduce her to a wider range of better jobs, rather than limiting her to teaching..."

"As for the news of your death, we will gradually withdraw the effects of hypnosis after helping her settle down for two or three months. By the time she remembers you, she will already have started a brand-new life. Accordingly, the three-month service period for the members of each line will be extended to over a year. Those friends who genuinely appreciate your girlfriend will no longer disappear unexpectedly, either. They will become her real friends, and our company will no longer intervene in that regard."

"Thank you." Zhang Youzhi uttered those two words.

Seeing his expression, Number Two shook his head and continued:

"As for your funeral, our company has also decided to use our highest standards. That said, we will respect your wishes. Now, I must formally ask you."

"Are you certain you want to keep the services you previously canceled canceled? They're all deluxe editions, you know."

"Including the deluxe mysterious stranger watching the cemetery from afar during the funeral, the deluxe spirit money package, the deluxe family melodrama package, the deluxe underworld family package, the deluxe Tomb-Sweeping Day package, and the deluxe seventh-day soul-summoning package?"

"Cancel them," Zhang Youzhi replied expressionlessly.

Number Two smiled. "All right, we'll keep those canceled. But the services you retained will be automatically upgraded to deluxe editions. You have no objection to that, do you? They may also automatically generate a few trivial, inconspicuous, unimportant little supplementary services."

"No objection." Zhang Youzhi waved a hand. He was already exhausted. Since they were all insignificant "little services," he did not ask any further questions.

Once I'm dead, who cares if the world goes to hell?

Number Two's eyes narrowed with his smile. He stood and held out his right hand to Zhang Youzhi.

"A pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Zhang."

Zhang Youzhi shook his hand.

"You have two hours left to live. Discuss your final arrangements with your friend. If you need anything, you can tell me. The 'Supervision Regulations' will continue to serve you after your death."

Number Two left.

Zhang Youzhi felt that something was off, but he could not put his finger on it. Looking at the stark white hospital room and the jumble of machines, he felt stifled.

There isn't much time left. I should go out for a stroll.

End of Chapter
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