Something's Not Right About My Funeral
Chapter 38

Total party wipe achieved

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The woman before him was absurdly strong. Li Fei dared not let his guard down and personally cuffed her before finally letting out a long breath.

Then he saw a man running toward them.

Outside the alley, Wen Xuanjing panicked the instant he saw Nanmen Yingyun being shoved out by Li Fei, who was in plain clothes.

"Stop! Who are you? Let her go!"

Li Fei paused, then asked in a low voice, "And who are you?"

"What's it to you? Let her go, or you'll regret it!" Wen Xuanjing charged forward in a fury.

The alley lay around a corner, and the officers were all inside processing the scene. He had no idea what had happened. Thinking Nanmen Yingyun was being bullied, he rushed over in a burst of reckless anger, without even considering whether he could win.

Apparently, he had gotten a little too caught up in pretending to be her boyfriend.

Watching this fellow, barely over five feet tall, charge at him, Li Fei actually laughed in exasperation. He pinned him with a single grappling move and deftly snapped on a second pair of handcuffs.

"Assaulting an officer? Well, aren't you something."

"A-an officer?!"

Li Fei took out his Police ID and waved it before the hapless pair.

"I now have reason to suspect that both of you were involved in this murder and obstructed police duties. I'm taking you to the station. Save whatever you have to say for questioning."

"Someone died?" Wen Xuanjing's face went deathly pale.

"No, no, this is a misunderstanding! Sir, you've got it wrong!" He pleaded for quite some time, but Li Fei ignored him.

Soon, Bai Song and Gu Yu, who had met along the way and come together, arrived out of breath.

"Two more?" Li Fei asked in surprise.

The girl among them gasped for breath as she explained to Li Fei, "Officer, sir, we're Li Douyu's friends. We came to rescue her. Please let those two go. This is a misunderstanding, isn't it?"

Li Fei narrowed his eyes. "You're her friends? How did you know she was here? How did you know she was in trouble and needed rescuing? How did you know her name was Li Douyu?"

Gu Yu froze, at a loss for words.

Just then, an officer ran out of the alley and loudly reported to Li Fei.

"Captain Fei, we found a tracker in the sole of her shoe!"

Bai Song immediately sensed trouble and stepped forward to explain.

"We turned that tracker off ages ago. We haven't used it in a long time."

Wonderful. The more they explained, the worse it sounded.

In a panic, Gu Yu clapped a hand over Bai Song's mouth.

Li Douyu emerged, supported by two officers. The kick she had taken hurt terribly, leaving her eyes brimming with tears. Covered in the dead man's blood, she looked utterly wretched.

"Li Douyu!" Bai Song exclaimed in delight. "Quick, explain things for us!"

But when Li Douyu saw the "siblings," she looked as though she had suffered some terrible injustice. Crying, she said, "I don't know any of those four at all! They've been following me. Wherever I run, they always find me. I didn't know what else to do, so I could only go to the police station every day to find the officers... I knew you wouldn't believe me even if I told you, but they really have been following me every day... And today I almost got-got-waaaah..."

Li Douyu sobbed so hard she could barely breathe. Every officer present was heartbroken by what they heard and lowered their heads in shame.

They had all eaten the watermelon Li Douyu had brought them.

Looking at the tracker in his hand, Li Fei's expression turned utterly grim.

How much had this girl from out of town suffered to bring watermelon to the officers on guard every day, trying to befriend them for that pitiful sliver of security?

Bai Song stared in disbelief at her tear-streaked face, pointing at her, still unable to believe those words had come out of her mouth.

They had even planned to visit Li Douyu today with snacks and little gifts. How had things turned into this mess?

"Arrest! Every! Last! One! Of! Them!"

Li Fei roared.

Just as the four were being cuffed, the late-arriving Si Weizhe finally showed up. Seeing the scene, he knew the officer before him had misunderstood something and started toward Li Fei to talk things out.

"Arrest him too." Seeing another man approach, Li Fei waved a hand wearily.

Si Weizhe: ??

Wait, why the hell were they arresting him?

"Hold on! You can't arrest me!" Si Weizhe cried, shocked and furious.

"Do you know him?" Li Fei walked over to Li Douyu and gently asked.

"No." Li Douyu shook her head.

She really did not know him, but she kept feeling that everything she had experienced over the past few days was connected to the man before her.

"What are you here for?"

"I..." Si Weizhe faltered.

What was he supposed to say? That they had come to visit Li Douyu and make friends with her?

Li Fei tried a different question. "What's her name?" He pointed at Li Douyu.

"Li Douyu," Si Weizhe answered reflexively.

"Hah." Li Fei snorted coldly.

"Arrest him!"

Late that night.

Number Two took a report and nearly spilled the hot coffee at their lips.

The report was brief.

[Following an unexpected incident, Li Douyu personally landed five gold-medal friendship/romance experts in jail. All five are currently in local custody on suspicion of Unlawful Restriction of Personal Freedom and Invasion of Personal Privacy.] [The local company supervisor has gone to provide a guarantee, but may not be able to secure the five experts' release on bail pending trial. At present, the target of the company's operations, Miss Li Douyu, is actively cooperating with the police investigation after becoming involved in an unusual criminal case.]

"What happened?" Number Two turned to ask.

The subordinate answered quietly, "As far as I know, this is what happened. After repeatedly getting nowhere with the target, the five gold-medal experts decided to approach her openly and have a proper talk. As it happened, a local old thug was harassing her, so they went to rescue her."

"But the Local Law Enforcement Team arrived first and rescued Miss Li Douyu. Miss Li Douyu is suspected of having killed that old thug. An ordinary public-order incident turned into a criminal case, escalating the situation further.

"Then the five had a major misunderstanding with the Local Law Enforcement Team. Combined with Miss Li Douyu's accusations, that got them all arrested. A large amount of documentary evidence was also found at their residence-a school building. In light of that evidence, Miss Li Douyu has now formally filed complaints against the five, including but not limited to 'invasion of privacy' and 'restriction of personal freedom.'"

After listening, Number Two's brows knitted tightly.

The subordinate continued, "We suspect Miss Li Douyu may have already guessed that something unexpected happened to Mr. Zhang Youzhi. She's trying to use this to force the 'people behind the scenes'-our company-to come forward, so she can find Mr. Zhang Youzhi or learn what actually happened to him."

"Li Douyu... How is that girl so calculating? And she killed a suspect? Did Zhang Youzhi's information mention anything about that?"

Number Two frowned in thought.

"Wasn't she supposed to be an innocent, naive, kindhearted little girl?" (Zhang Youzhi's exact words.)

The subordinate smiled wryly. "My guess is that Mr. Zhang Youzhi himself may have been deceived by Miss Li Douyu. After all, women like to play weak in front of men."

"You seem to know a lot about that."

"I'm a woman."

Number Two looked up, noticed the subordinate's shapely figure, and paused.

"Oh, right. Then what do you suggest?"

"First, get the five gold-medal experts out on bail. Then send a higher-ranking member of company management-someone like you. After that, communicate with Mr. Zhang Youzhi's soul and persuade him to Return to the Living.

"Didn't our company just restore that technique? Let him be the first person resurrected. As long as Mr. Zhang Youzhi is around, I believe Miss Li Douyu, the S-Rank Emotional Disaster Carrier, can remain stable over the long term."

"Excellent. You'll be working at my side from now on." Number Two was very pleased with the subordinate's analysis.

"I have a boyfriend."

Number Two's voice abruptly turned cold.

"What the hell does your boyfriend have to do with me? I want you as my adviser."

"Does that come with a raise?"

"Six hundred."

"Your loyal subordinate will devote herself wholeheartedly to serving you."

End of Chapter
Novel
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