Something's Not Right About My Funeral
Chapter 40

The best tool for the job

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For Number Two, there was another piece of bad news.

According to headquarters' projections, there was a chance that a C+ emotional disaster would break out in Songjiang City.

"What do you mean, 'a chance'?"

Number Two asked over the phone, his expression dark.

From the information relayed over the phone, Number Two soon understood the situation.

As things stood, however, the missing children's families were all in tremendous pain. Many parents' emotional distress was already approaching F-class, and two mothers' anguish had even reached the level of an F-class emotional disaster.

The executives at the White Jade Capital Company had originally hoped the five gold-tier experts could spare some time while dealing with Li Douyu to comfort those two mothers in extreme distress. They had never expected all five to be thrown in jail by Li Douyu, derailing the plan.

An F-class emotional disaster alone would not have drawn so much attention from the executives. Tens of thousands of similar instances of F-class anguish occurred across the globe every day. The company could only save as many people as it could; those beyond its reach were left to fend for themselves.

The problem was that these individual cases of emotional distress all shared the same underlying cause-missing children!

According to the company's projections,

over the coming days, this grief might spread and link together. If the parents involved gathered and the story spread through the media, the overall level could potentially reach C+.

The company was desperately short-staffed. Since Number Two happened to be in Songjiang City, its collective strategy department dumped the problem straight into his lap.

"..." Number Two's brow knotted.

He had personally participated in only two S-class rescue operations and several A-class ones. He had no idea where to start with a diffuse C-class emotional disaster like this.

Besides, he had come here to persuade Zhang Youzhi to return to the world of the living. Instead, a bunch of his subordinates at the company had assigned their boss a task.

Number Two had not had a good night's sleep in a long time.

He sent separate messages to Si Weizhe and the hypnotist on standby.

[Multiple child disappearances have occurred within the city. Use your abilities to investigate locally and request assistance from the hypnotist if necessary. Combat Department personnel are already on their way to assist you. The Songjiang City government and the White Jade Capital Company have authorized this operation.]

The message to the hypnotist was simpler. The hypnotist's abilities went beyond ordinary hypnosis; this was a special asset cultivated by the company, with higher clearance for inside information:

"Let's deal with this before looking for Zhang Youzhi. Leaving a ticking time bomb behind us wouldn't feel good either." Number Two sighed.

Zhang Youzhi frowned at the missing-person notice pasted onto a utility pole.

[Big Winter Melon, Big Winter Melon, where are you?]

Well, Big Winter Melon's right here, but how am I supposed to find you?

Zhang Youzhi sank into thought.

Together with the chibi phone-call meme printed above it, the notice made her meaning clear to Zhang Youzhi: if he saw it, he should call her.

The problem was that he could not make phone calls! He had no physical body, only a phantom form, and no way to communicate with anyone. He did not even know how to contact Number Two, the only person who could see him.

Watching the traffic and the sea of people on the streets, Zhang Youzhi sank into thought.

If he remembered correctly, Songjiang City had a population of ten million. Searching at random would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. His only clue was the "missing-person notice" in his hand.

If he noted down the locations of all the missing-person notices, then made a density map and looked for the center, that should get him close enough.

A campus building at Songjiang University.

"The third regular meeting of the Li Douyu (crossed out) missing kids case task force."

During the meeting, Si Weizhe explained the pros and cons of the child disappearance case in accessible terms and gave an impassioned account of the families' suffering. Grounding his discussion in reality, he cited online sources and analyzed actual cases to dissect the suspects' motives. The attending representative, Bai Song, engaged in an exceptionally heated debate, and they ultimately put forward four main recommendations.

One: stay focused on the main issue and persevere in establishing work objectives. Shift the core focus from Li Douyu to the missing children case, and stop pursuing personal grievances with Li Douyu.

Two: pursue both target identification and precision strikes. Cooperate with local law enforcement to put a timely stop to the suspected gang's crimes. Seek support from higher-ups when necessary. Going it alone was not recommended.

Three: work together. With Si Weizhe leading the team, establish polite, friendly contact with colleagues from the Combat Department and the hypnotist. Put in solid work to ensure internal unity.

Four: do a good job and get paid.

Gu Yu was the first to raise a question. "What about Li Douyu? Are we just leaving her alone? What if she finds out her boyfriend is dead?"

"We're leaving her alone. The higher-ups have their own solution," Si Weizhe replied.

Nanmen Yingyun asked, "We're members of the Emotional Affairs Department. Why do we have to get involved in something like this?"

"I don't want to either, but they're paying too much," Si Weizhe replied.

Bai Song said, "Si Weizhe, based on what we know, this should be a trafficking gang that's moved into Songjiang City recently, right? Even if we find them, there's nothing we can do. Cherry's the strongest fighter out of the five of us."

"The company's Combat Department and the authorities will assist us," Si Weizhe replied.

Last came Wen Xuanjing. "How do we do this?"

As he spoke, he glanced at Nanmen Yingyun, who was sprawled over the table playing with a fingerboard.

Si Weizhe began assigning tasks. "Gu Yu, gather and compile the information. Bai, you make a good impression. Go take statements from the victims' families and get us information."

Both nodded to indicate that they had no objections.

"Cherry, you and Xuanjing will run a sting."

"A sting?" Wen Xuanjing and Nanmen Yingyun looked at each other.

Si Weizhe explained, "As far as I know, it's not just children going missing. A sizable proportion are teenagers. You two are small, especially Xuanjing. He could pass for a middle school student without any trouble. Go get yourselves some school uniforms, then spend your days heading into shady places."

"Of course, stay safe. That part's up to Cherry. The company mailed us a few little gadgets. Take them along for protection."

"Sure thing, don't worry. I'll keep the little shorty safe." Nanmen Yingyun pulled Wen Xuanjing into a hug, making him bare his teeth in pain.

"Then it's settled. Get ready to work."

Li Douyu was frustrated. Looking at her utterly silent phone made her bristle with irritation.

No one had called her.

The policewoman had visited a few times, and each time Li Douyu had pestered her with the same question: "Is there any news about my boyfriend?"

But the answer was always, "Oh, Yuyu, don't worry. We're investigating. There's no news yet."

Perhaps afraid that Li Douyu would press her too hard, even the policewoman had rarely visited lately. Someone simply brought her meals at regular times.

Looking at the trashed room, the chainsaw on the coffee table, and her silent phone, Li Douyu could not help sinking into deep depression.

"Is Zhang Youzhi really in this city? Why hasn't he come looking for me?"

The only reason she had not left was that some mysterious sixth sense told her,

"Yes, he's right here. Wait a little longer."

Wait, wait, wait!

All I ever do is wait. Waiting won't bring my boyfriend back. I have to go find him myself.

After her last experience, Li Douyu was more cautious. She took a pair of scissors and cut her hair into a messy, jagged crop, packed away all her old clothes, put on a gender-neutral outfit she had bought on Taobao, and smeared some dirt on her face. She looked every bit like a middle school boy.

"Good thing my chest isn't big." Li Douyu poked the front of her jacket, confirmed that it was only moderately soft, and turned in front of the mirror, reassured.

"The chainsaw's too big to carry easily. I'll take the police baton that nice policewoman gave me. It should work better than a knife."

Looking out at the clouds while it was still early, Li Douyu decided it was time to set off.

End of Chapter
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