Gua: Getting two eggs from you is such a pain

What a great job you've done developing technology for me!!

Gua grimaced, grumbling inwardly.

Does this damn Orochimaru only ever think about starting with the human body?

But it made sense. Orochimaru's goal was immortality.

And at first glance, studying the human body was obviously the most promising way to achieve it.

Gua had originally thought letting Orochimaru do science might not be a bad thing, but now it seemed he had been too optimistic.

The Shinobi World was still ignorant and backward.

With such an enormous tech tree to explore, there were bound to be plenty of wrong turns.

Gua shook his head and headed home with his eggs.

"Gua!"

A hoarse voice stopped Gua as he was carrying his eggs home.

Gua nearly hurled the eggs straight into Orochimaru's face on reflex.

Are you fucking nuts?

You think we Uchiha are easy targets, huh?

The clan leader can put up with it! I can't!

Once I've grown strong enough, you're the first one I'm taking out!

"Gua-kun, you don't seem very happy to see me."

Orochimaru watched Gua with a smile.

Gua grimaced.

Fuck me!

Am I supposed to congratulate you on becoming Konoha's chief scientist?

Don't tell me you want me to bring you a couple of bottles of Maotai to celebrate, too?

Fuck me!

Our clan leader is useless!

The Uchiha are weak!

The village has gone too far!!

And I'm not strong enough yet!!

What do I do?

Pack up and become a rogue ninja.

Lie low out there for a decade or so, then double back and catch Konoha by surprise.

Do a little Deva Path Pain cosplay and let them feel the Uchiha's pain, too.

Gua's mind raced through every possibility.

If kneeling and begging for mercy would help, he would kowtow to Orochimaru right then and there.

"Gua-kun, you have some profound misconceptions about me."

Orochimaru shook his head and sighed, sounding almost helpless.

Gua: ...

I have misconceptions about you?

I don't think so.

"I only wanted to discuss science with Gua-kun. Honestly, my original plan was to defect when Hiruzen-sensei caught me. But I gave up on that. Do you know why?"

Orochimaru looked at Gua with a hint of anticipation.

Gua: ...

For love?

"For you," Orochimaru said.

Gua: ...

Gua's silence was deafening.

Faced with an idiotic proposition like this from Orochimaru, Gua felt goosebumps rise all down his back.

"I've gone legitimate now. I don't do those things anymore. You should trust me, Gua-kun."

Orochimaru sounded exceptionally sincere.

He actually seemed to be making a serious effort to explain himself to Gua.

Gua's response was, I believe you, but what the fuck does you going legitimate have to do with me?

Even if you never went legitimate, even if you defected, that's none of my business.

I'm not the Hokage!!

"Gua-kun, I came to discuss science with you. You attended a lecture at our Konoha science base, too, so I imagine you agree with my science."

As he spoke, Orochimaru's gaze kept drifting to the eggs in Gua's hands.

They were proof that Gua had attended the lecture.

Gua: ...

Getting two eggs from you really is such a pain!!

You bastard!!

Can I just throw them back at you?

Speechless, Gua hefted the eggs in his hands.

"Want them back?"

Orochimaru shook his head and looked at Gua earnestly. "Gua-kun, come with me. There's a great deal I'd like to learn from you."

Gua: ...

The sun really must have risen in the west today.

You're Orochimaru, one of the Sannin, and now Konoha's chief scientist!

I'm an elementary school kid who just started first grade.

How is this any different from Einstein running into a kindergarten and asking, 'Who can solve the grand unified equation of the universe for me!!'

What's the difference?

But Gua had no room to resist.

Orochimaru was too strong. He still needed to lie low.

Fine, I'll go.

You've gone legitimate now. Surely you aren't going to attack me?

Ugh!

This is all the clan leader's fault, too.

Can't you grow a spine?

At worst, we could just fight them!!

Then I wouldn't have been caught by Orochimaru again. At this rate, I'm practically Tang Sanzang.

"Gua-kun, you killed those Root members that day, didn't you?"

On the way to the research base, Orochimaru suddenly spoke.

That scared Gua into a cold sweat.

Fortunately, he remained calm on the surface, walking in silence as usual without saying a word.

"Heh heh. Gua-kun, did you know there's a Ninjutsu called Impure World Reincarnation? It can revive the dead-and make them talk."

"You can't hide it from me."

Gua stopped.

The corners of Orochimaru's mouth lifted slightly. Ready to admit it?

Gua turned to look at Orochimaru and stared for a long time. There was something in those pitch-black eyes that even Orochimaru found unsettling.

Gua...

Just what are you, child...?

Orochimaru did not even realize his breathing had begun to slow. Like a snake lying in wait, he suppressed all signs of life.

After staring for a long time, Gua turned and continued forward without saying a word.

Orochimaru froze.

You're not going to say anything?

Meanwhile, Gua was thinking, If Orochimaru isn't going to defect, I'll have to.

Unbelievable!

We covered our tracks so well!

And then forgot this world had something as ridiculously overpowered as Impure World Reincarnation!!

Great. Now Orochimaru knows every last one of my secrets!!

Killing people, especially Root members-there's no justifying that, is there?

If Orochimaru exposes this and Danzo seizes the chance to pin it all on me, I'm finished.

Fuck me! Shisui, you've really screwed me over!

Couldn't you have just killed those two back then? I wouldn't have had to do anything, and no investigation could have led back to me. Now I've gone straight from victim to aggressor!

Everything's been turned upside down!

Gua's feelings were a tangled mess.

He could not bear to leave the village, the Uchiha, or his parents.

Come to think of it... can you take your whole family along when you defect?

"Gua, I was lying. I haven't fully mastered Impure World Reincarnation yet. And even if I had, I wouldn't use it on people with no value."

Orochimaru caught up with Gua and spoke in an even tone.

Gua said nothing.

Who knew how much of what came out of Orochimaru's mouth was true, and how much was false?

He could say he had nothing today, then put the evidence on the Third Generation's desk tomorrow.

Gua remained silent. Fortunately, his established persona was practically that of a bot, so sometimes his speechlessness when he had no idea what to do only made him seem utterly composed.

Thunder raged within, yet his face was as still as a tranquil lake...

Orochimaru thought Gua was simply the most gifted, most composed person he had ever met!

Gua, now I'm very curious just where this wind of yours will take Konoha.

Orochimaru licked his lips as he watched Gua's back ahead of him. There was no greed in his eyes, no desire-only hope.

He could see a different future!!