Naruto: Everyone's Gender-Swapped Except Me

He wakes up to a shocking discovery: all of the Konoha Twelve have had their genders reversed-and he is a young Naruto Uzumaki.

Fortunately, he acquires a system. By collecting Shock Points and Negative Emotion Points from those around him, he can redeem any item he wants.

A perfected Hashirama Cell Serum, the Rinnegan, the Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan, the Kamui Mangekyo Sharingan-even forbidden techniques like the Flying Thunder God Technique can be downloaded straight into his mind for instant mastery.

It's the day after the Uchiha Clan Massacre?

His target is clear: the adorable Sasuke with twin ponytails comes first.

Then, armed with the technology and outrageous tricks he redeems through the system, he successfully takes over Ichiraku Ramen.

As Naruto grows older, he discovers that the gender swaps extend far beyond the Konoha Twelve.

Itachi, Kakashi, Haku, Orochimaru...

He plans each move carefully, plotting his defection.

But after five years together, day in and day out, the fake-girlfriend arrangement that once served their mutual interests has become impossible to distinguish from the real thing.

She loves him, but cannot promise him a future.

He loves her, but refuses to dictate her future and choices the way her older sister did.

At last, his carefully laid plans come to a head at the Valley of the End. He fakes his death at her hands, and she awakens her Mangekyo Sharingan.

Sasuke: "Only when I look back do I realize that every little piece of this world is filled with you. Naruto, wait for me on the road to the afterlife. It won't be long."

After their parting at the Valley of the End, Sasuke goes to the Hidden Sound Village to train.

Meanwhile, Naruto begins laying plans for the entire shinobi world.

A few years later, all the familiar faces Naruto knows have changed because of him.

Haku: "Big Brother Naruto, when are you coming back?"

Sasori: "As of today, I'm leaving the Akatsuki."

Orochimaru: "When you return, I'll leap down to share a drink with you."

Obito: "The four nations are carving up the Hidden Leaf, and you suddenly declare war? Naruto, you're putting me in a really awkward position, you know?"

Yahiko: "This is what I've always envisioned..."