Pei Yanchuan's pen flew across the page as he wondered what this monster was actually trying to do, conducting rituals, screening students, brainwashing them...
"Ow..." A sudden pain shot through his foot. Pei Yanchuan looked down and saw Su Fengzi stepping on it. He glanced at him in confusion, then heard Su Fengzi's anxious voice. "Look at your essay."
Pei Yanchuan looked back at the paper and jumped. At some point, the essay's contents had changed from eating shit to wholehearted praise. Several lines in a row read, "My great Chinese Teacher," "My respected Chinese Teacher," "..."
What was going on?
Pei Yanchuan hurriedly crossed out those lines with his pen. Apparently, he had to concentrate while writing the essay, or he could accidentally get brainwashed.
Pei Yanchuan scribbled over those lines until they became black blobs. Only when the words were completely illegible did he resume his tribute, continuing to make that great Chinese Teacher eat shit.
Eight hundred words flowed from his pen, and the essay finally concluded with, "Ah, my Chinese Teacher truly is so great."
Brimming with confidence, he handed the essay to the Chinese Teacher. As expected, the little old man nearing fifty exploded. Even the hand holding the essay trembled. "What is this you've written? I'm asking you, what is this you've written?!!"
Pei Yanchuan looked utterly innocent. "Didn't you tell me to write it like this?"
The Chinese Teacher: "..."
When the fuck did I tell you to write about eating shit?!
Watching Mediterranean nearly burst with rage, Pei Yanchuan patiently explained, "Come on, let me walk you through it. First, isn't it astonishing? Isn't it really astonishing?"
"Second, praise. Didn't I praise you? Teacher, didn't I spend the whole essay saying you could do anything? Didn't I say how amazing you were? I praised you several times!"
"Just tell me whether this essay is good or not. Oh, and you asked for eight hundred words, but I made up... no, I sincerely praised you for a thousand words! Isn't that great?"
As he spoke, he shot Su Fengzi a look.
Su Fengzi immediately responded by nodding and clapping. Amazing. This essay was simply amazing!
The Chinese Teacher: "..."
Although he was no longer quite as angry, the look he gave Pei Yanchuan still seemed murderous.
Pei Yanchuan, meanwhile, stood with his hands on his hips, looking perfectly justified, as though what he had said actually made sense. Su Fengzi had no idea where he found the nerve.
While the silent standoff continued, Zhang Lian could no longer suppress his curiosity. He cautiously took a couple of steps closer, hoping to admire this unparalleled masterpiece.
Then his eyes widened slightly, and a heartfelt remark escaped him. "Holy shit. That's fucking awesome."
Pei Yanchuan immediately clapped his hands. "Hear that? An honest review from a bystander!"
The Chinese Teacher: "..."
Although he was a Chinese Teacher, as a monster, he wasn't exactly bright. He read the essay two or three times, convinced that this student named Dad was insulting him, yet unable to pinpoint any rule he had broken.
After much deliberation, he could only put the essay away and tell Pei Yanchuan, "You! Get out!" He pointed a finger at the classroom door.
Judging by how hard he was gritting his teeth, Pei Yanchuan reasonably suspected that what he really wanted to say was, "Fuck off!"
Pei Yanchuan pointed at the classroom door and asked obediently, "Teacher, can I go back to the dorm now?"
The Chinese Teacher nodded furiously, making the fat on his face quiver.
Pei Yanchuan glanced at Su Fengzi and Zhang Lian, who were still writing their essays. "Teacher, I'd like to study a little longer. I also want to read these two classmates' masterpieces."
The Chinese Teacher fell silent for a few seconds. To prevent the remaining students from continuing to write about eating shit, he returned to the lectern and added a line beneath the writing requirements: [Do not write about eating shit.]
Once he finished, he nodded in satisfaction and tipped his chin at Su Fengzi and Zhang Lian, his face full of pride.
Su Fengzi, Zhang Lian: ...What was he so proud of? Proud that he could eat shit?
Although one avenue had been blocked off, the two stood on the shoulders of a giant and let their imaginations run wild.
Su Fengzi surpassed his predecessor, swiftly producing a masterpiece titled "My Chinese Teacher, Who Dared to Swim the Butterfly in a Cesspit," and handed it in with satisfaction.
Zhang Lian had been writing at the same time and, as luck would have it, had hit upon the same idea. Unfortunately, his writing speed couldn't match that of a video creator who gamed year-round, and he fell a little behind.
When Su Fengzi submitted his essay, the Chinese Teacher in Zhang Lian's work had only just entered the cesspit and hadn't started swimming the butterfly yet.
Naturally, after Su Fengzi handed in his work, the fat Mediterranean flew into another impotent rage. His enormous body twisted in anger as he added another few words to the writing requirements: [Do not write anything related to cesspits!!!]
Three exclamation marks were more than enough to convey Mediterranean's fury.
Zhang Lian, the only one who had yet to submit his essay, stared at his half-finished masterpiece in silence for a long moment. He gave Su Fengzi a mournful look and sighed, crumpled the unfinished work into a ball with a couple of quick motions, and tossed it into the trash. Resigned to his fate, he asked for another sheet of paper and started writing about his great Chinese Teacher all over again.
Pei Yanchuan was curious about what he would write and craned his neck for a look, but Zhang Lian covered it so tightly that not a single word showed. The more he hid it, the more curious Pei Yanchuan became.
Standing behind Zhang Lian, Su Fengzi read a few paragraphs and let out an amused snort. He dragged away Pei Yanchuan, who was straining to peer over from the side. "Kids shouldn't read this."
Pei Yanchuan: "???"
Once Zhang Lian had an idea, his pen seemed divinely inspired. He churned out the essay in no time and handed it to the Chinese Teacher with a smug air.
This time, Mediterranean didn't lose his temper. Instead, he asked with a bewildered expression, "The things written here... are they really great?"
Zhang Lian immediately nodded. "Absolutely. Incredibly great."
Mediterranean nodded in a daze. He didn't quite understand some of the acts described, all those men and women, all those men and women doing this and that together, but they did seem rather astonishing.
"All right. The three of you can return to your dorm."
Pei Yanchuan was still brimming with curiosity as he left the classroom. "So what did you write? That was enough to pass?"
"Just some filthy smut. Adults-only stuff. Kids shouldn't ask so many questions." Su Fengzi tugged him along again.
Realization dawned on Pei Yanchuan. He scratched his head. "But I'm eighteen. I'm an adult."
Su Fengzi: "..." Was that the point?
Zhang Lian protested indignantly, "Don't call it something so vulgar. Mine is clearly high-end, stream-of-consciousness erotica!"
"So why do you write erotica?" Pei Yanchuan asked curiously.
Zhang Lian lifted his face proudly. "Because my girlfriend likes it. I wrote loads of the smut for her favorite ships! How about I give you my Weibo handle so you can admire my masterpieces too?"
Su Fengzi hurriedly waved his hands. "No thanks, no thanks."
Pei Yanchuan wanted to ask something else, but Su Fengzi grabbed him and dragged him away.
"Hey, hey, hey, Brother Fengzi, I'm an adult! I'm already eighteen!"
"I know!"
Before you continue