I Cosplayed Boss Dazai and Ended Up in Jujutsu Kaisen
Chapter 35

Extra story 1 (A screening of Boss Dazai's life)

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[He died for the world? No, he only wanted to change one person's ending...]

"Welcome to the Bungo Stray Dogs Theater. All fighting is prohibited in this theater. Please follow the rules, and enjoy the screening."

It was an entirely ordinary day. Well, perhaps not quite so ordinary.

Masamichi Yaga was staring bewilderedly at the screen before him, paying no attention to the people beside him who had already descended into chaos. For some reason, he already had an ominous feeling.

They were now in a spacious but cozy room. A massive movie screen stood at the front, right in the center, with many rows of tables and chairs directly behind him. Just as the announcement had said, it was laid out like a theater.

The room seemed to cut off all flow of cursed energy. Satoru Gojo was happily looking around, openly marveling that this was what the world looked like without the Six Eyes.

"Satoru, you're not a student anymore."

Masamichi Yaga silently sat down to one side. Looking at the still-exuberant Satoru Gojo and the perfectly calm new first-year students, he felt a headache coming on.

"I'm just so excited~ I've never experienced a world without the Six Eyes before-"

Satoru Gojo bounded into a front-row seat. When he turned back toward Masamichi Yaga, he deliberately drew out his words in a high, affected voice, successfully inflicting psychic damage on Suguru Geto, who had been wearing an expression of saintly compassion.

"...Satoru, you're disgusting."

"Teacher Geto, do you know what's going on?"

"I've never encountered a cursed spirit like this, but this space doesn't seem dangerous."

"Clearly, Toji Zenin is the most dangerous thing here right now! None of us can use our cursed techniques! I strongly demand that you take away his Heavenly Restriction, or he could wipe us all out~"

Although Satoru Gojo never acted serious, both he and Suguru Geto had quite deliberately stayed close to Toji Zenin.

Certain things almost always called for caution. This situation did not necessarily qualify as an exception.

"Understood. Heavenly Restriction has been disabled."

It was still the same highly mechanical female voice. As it spoke, Toji Zenin could not help frowning. Never in his life had he felt his body lose its strength, but he remained seated, seemingly unconcerned.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Book. This is a space I created specifically for this purpose, and I can temporarily accommodate most of your requests. Time is frozen within this space, so your work will not be disrupted, nor will anyone be reported missing. I invited you here to watch a movie."

Having said this, the mechanical voice gave everyone below a moment to respond.

"Just to watch a movie?"

Masamichi Yaga frowned, then looked up and asked dubiously.

"Yes. Just a movie."

"Can we request anything?"

Satoru Gojo raised his hand, blinking those beautiful sky-blue eyes as he asked.

"What would you like?"

"I want edamame-flavored daifuku, plus some little cakes and desserts."

"Understood. If anyone else needs something, you may state your request silently. Every effort will be made to fulfill reasonable requests."

A heap of sweets appeared on Satoru Gojo's table. Seemingly unconcerned about what would happen next, he happily bit into a generously filled daifuku.

Having heard that they were here to watch a movie, and lacking any real means of escaping, the group from Jujutsu High relaxed under Satoru Gojo's carefree influence and took their seats.

"Now that everyone is seated, the screening will begin."

[Dazai, Chūya, age fifteen]

"Dazai?"

Seeing the first person appear, Suguru Geto parted his lips, dazedly recalling the older man who had once guided him.

The man who had never mentioned it, even when Riko Amanai had survived...

But after that brief drift of thought, Suguru Geto steadied himself and returned his attention to the screen.

[An aircraft flew through the clear blue sky. It carried only one passenger, a man dressed in black and wearing sunglasses.

He kept looking around the cabin in agitation, clutching a handgun with obvious insecurity, as though terrified of something.

Suddenly, a voice came from outside. Several hundred meters above the ground, a boy who looked no older than fourteen or fifteen appeared outside the window.

"The Sheep-the King of the Sheep!"

Almost at the same instant that the man screamed and ducked away, the boy kicked through the window and slowly approached the black-clad man, who had been slumped to one side.

The man kept retreating. Grabbing his gun, he aimed at the boy. His hands still in his pockets, the boy expressionlessly kicked at the bullet. Then, thanks to the boy's intervention, the man was killed by his own bullet.

"The Port Mafia. I'll slaughter every last one of you," the boy said calmly.]

"That's so cool!"

Satoru Gojo shook Suguru Geto beside him, trying to find out whether he had a cursed spirit among his cursed spirit orbs that could also manipulate physical laws, only to be mercilessly interrupted.

"Satoru, Dazai's on-screen."

Those words proved extremely effective. Satoru Gojo, who had still been shaking him, whipped his head around. Even Teacher Yaga did not know what Osamu Dazai had been like at fifteen. Now that they had the chance, they were certainly going to take a good look.

[Inside a somewhat shabby clinic sat a troubled man. Looking at books and paperwork, he collapsed face-first onto his desk as though on the verge of death.

He was a doctor. Though he looked thoroughly dispirited and wore an old white coat, the stethoscope around his neck, the medical records beside him, and the specialist books on the shelves all made it clear that he was a relatively young physician.

Yet the words he spoke were completely at odds with that profession.

"The deadline for the smuggling payment passed two weeks ago. At this rate, it won't be long before all my subordinates have to fight our enemies with kitchen knives. And that's not all..."

Muttering quietly, he stared at the pile of documents before him with an even worse headache.

Just then, a profile appeared beside him.

It plainly read: Ōgai Mori, boss of the Port Mafia.]

"That's a Mafia boss?"

Satoru Gojo glanced at Shoko Ieiri, who looked equally dispirited, and silently began wondering whether she had some hidden identity too.

Shoko Ieiri successfully caught his look and sent a scalpel flying at him, though it vanished without a trace in midair because fighting was prohibited.

["Standing at the top of an organization is so difficult. Am I really not suited to being a boss?... Dazai, Dazai, are you listening?"

"Yes, yes, I suppose?"

"Why did you add a question mark?"

The person answering Ōgai Mori was a boy with fluffy, unruly hair. White bandages covered his body, and an oversized black suit hung from his frame.

A new profile appeared beside him as well: Osamu Dazai.

"You're always so boring, Mori!"

"Lately, all you talk about is how you have no money, no information, and none of your subordinates' trust. Didn't you know all of that from the start?"

"That may be true... But more importantly, Dazai, why are you mixing medication that raises blood pressure with medication that lowers it?"

"Huh? If I mix them and drink them, I should be able to die easily!"

As Osamu Dazai spoke, his gaze was full of anticipation as he looked at the bottle in his hand.

"That won't kill you!"

Ōgai Mori snatched the bottle away, complaining with a pounding headache.

And was promptly rewarded with a whining Osamu Dazai.

"Ah, I don't care, I don't care! I want to die. Everything's so boring, so I just want to die a simple, easy death!"]

Watching this scene, Masamichi Yaga was speechless.

Well, at least the Osamu Dazai he had raised had never been this unreasonable. It was just that the Osamu Dazai he had raised was already dead...

Masamichi Yaga fell silent, staring blankly at the screen before him as he dazedly recalled the young man he had raised. He had always worn a smile. Even when predicting his own death, he had been calm.

Not much time passed before Masamichi Yaga slowly pulled himself out of his memories and continued watching the screen.

["Your hopes fell through, didn't they?"

"What do you mean?"

"A patient who failed to commit suicide was the perfect choice for an accomplice. But a year has passed, and here I am, still alive. An accomplice, after all..."

"What are you talking about?"

Ōgai Mori promptly tried to play dumb, steering the conversation toward the incident involving the previous boss.

Osamu Dazai did not seem particularly concerned, simply following the new topic as Mori changed the subject.

"Dazai, if you truly want to die that badly, I can give you a drug that will let you die easily."

As he spoke, Ōgai Mori took out a slip of paper and smoothly began writing on it.

"Really?"

"But I need you to investigate something. It's neither troublesome nor dangerous, but there's no one besides you I can ask."

"Suspicious..."

"Recently, rumors have been circulating near that place that a certain person has appeared. I want you to investigate the truth behind those rumors. This letter of authorization is called the Silver Writ. Show it to any subordinate in the Port Mafia, and they'll obey you. Use it however you like."

"A rumor you need to verify and stamp out? Then it's the previous boss?"

"Exactly." Ōgai Mori nodded solemnly.

"A man who cannot possibly have risen from his grave is alive. I personally confirmed his death."

"Cannot possibly have risen from his grave? It's a promise, then."

"Then welcome to the Mafia..." Ōgai Mori said with a faint smile.

"By the way, who was the person you mentioned earlier, the one you know who's very much like me?"

Osamu Dazai suddenly stopped on his way out and asked.

"Me."

After a brief silence, Ōgai Mori hesitated a little longer before asking a question that even he could not explain why he wanted to ask.

"Though I don't know whether I'll be able to understand, I still want to ask: why do you want to die?"

Osamu Dazai fell silent for a moment, then looked calmly at the boss seated there.

"That's what I'd like to ask you. Do you think the act of living truly has any value?"]

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