"What's going on here?" Satoru Gojo's voice rang out beside my ear.
Ohohoho, here he came, here he came, strutting over like he owned the whole damn world.
Hnnngh, those legs, that waist, those perfect proportions. Mom, I'd made it. I'd met the wife I was destined for. Sob, sob, sob.
"I wasn't planning on coming," Satoru Gojo explained before Megumi Fushiguro could speak. "But the higher-ups would nag me over something as serious as a missing Special Grade Cursed Object. So I came to admire the scenery and take a little stroll."
"Also, miss, are you a Cursed Speech User? You have a very unusual constitution."
Satoru Gojo suddenly used Teleportation to appear in front of me, bent down to meet my eyes, then lifted one corner of his blindfold to study me with his Six Eyes.
I froze. Those sky-blue eyes before me shimmered with flecks of light, yet a single glance left me as intoxicated as wine.
I just stared straight at his face until...
"..." × 2
Laughter snapped me out of my trance over Satoru Gojo's breathtaking beauty.
[Hahahaha, host, you look so much like a creep right now! Hahahaha!]
[...Shut up! Do you understand what it means to have a fictional character you've loved forever actually appear right in front of you?!!!]
My face went blank. I no longer cared about my image; all I wanted was a few more looks at the real person before me.
Thanks for asking. As the person involved, I was absolutely furious. Did they know how rare it was to get a close-up look at a man this handsome?!
I watched blankly as Satoru Gojo laughed his head off and even struck a pose.
"Hahahaha, so you're a fan of mine, miss? Want an autograph? Hahahaha, Megumi, see? That's the charm of good-looking guy Gojo~"
Megumi Fushiguro clearly wanted no part of this. I didn't know either of you.
"Uh, um..." Yuji Itadori scratched his head and looked to Megumi Fushiguro for help.
"...Gojo-sensei, let's deal with this first."
"Hahahahaha, oh, right. Then you two and our young fan here should step back."
I hurried to find a spot to stand. Come on, getting to watch Satoru Gojo fight His Majesty up close was the deal of a lifetime.
"Ten seconds. Switch back with Sukuna after ten seconds." Satoru Gojo warmed up as he spoke to Yuji.
Sob, sob, those legs were longer than my lifespan. I wanted him so bad. Hnnngh.
[Host, wipe your drool.]
[Oh.] I instinctively wiped my mouth with my sleeve.
[System, you actually tricked me! You've gone bad... Huh, what's this?]
I saw a strip of pure white silk wrapped around my hand.
[That's your Special Grade Cursed Tool, host. It's dormant right now, so it automatically wrapped itself around your hand.]
[Oh, right, I think the description mentioned that. Say, can I use it to block damage?]
[In theory, yes, but only against physical attacks.]
[Oh~]
Where had the plot gotten to? Better snap out of it and watch.
Satoru Gojo tossed his shopping bag to Megumi Fushiguro.
"What's this?"
"Kikufuku from Kikusuian. A Sendai specialty. Super tasty~"
"..."
"I especially recommend the edamame whipped cream flavor~"
Hahahahaha, Megumi Fushiguro was definitely complaining in his head about Satoru Gojo buying Kikufuku first when lives were at stake. We'd all be dead by the time he got here.
Just then, Satoru Gojo leaned over and wagged a finger. "They're not souvenirs. They're snacks for me to eat on the Shinkansen ride back~"
I had a bad feeling and glanced at His Majesty.
Holy shit, if you wanted a fight, go after Satoru Gojo! Why were you ambushing me?! I was just a helpless girl who couldn't hurt a fly!
Why hadn't Satoru Gojo stepped in yet? Then my only choice was...
"[Stop.]"
Yes! His Majesty had stopped. Quick, dodge. Wait, how had he broken free?! Aaaaaah!!!
"Cough, cough." Crap, backlash. Baojuan, my voice!
Sob, sob, Satoru Gojo had finally stepped in. His Majesty charged at him.
His Majesty, he... he leaped up, slid across the ground on his knees, and successfully became Satoru Gojo's seat.
What precision.
"And the whipped cream filling is fantastic, too. It's perfect with the edamame~"
That was Satoru Gojo for you. His Majesty was going to die of rage.
Look, His Majesty leaped up and went straight for Satoru Gojo's heart. Too bad Satoru Gojo used Teleportation to dodge. Refusing to give up, His Majesty took another running start and threw a right kick. Heehee, Satoru Gojo used Teleportation to dodge again, and His Majesty hit nothing... Every attack after that was also dealt with by Satoru Gojo.
The strongest man, all right. So handsome.
"Let me show off a little in front of my student and our young fan here."
Wahahahaha, that roguish grin, that arrogant tone. So handsome, so handsome, so handsome! Gojo-sensei, I wanted to be your puppy!!!
"Damn it. Jujutsu Sorcerers are a pain in every era."
With that, he unleashed a blast, blowing a huge hole in the rooftop.
"Is that all you've got..." His Majesty smirked scornfully, only to freeze a moment later.
Because... he'd missed! Hahahahahahaha! Satoru Gojo walked out of the dust!
"Seven, eight, nine. That should be about it."
As soon as he finished speaking, Ryomen Sukuna went still, his head drooping limply.
When his head rose again, Yuji Itadori had regained control of his body.
"Oh? Is everything okay now?"
Aaaaaah, that adorably clueless face. This was my little angel Yuji! Yuji's body really did look right only when Yuji was using it!
"Well, that's a surprise~ You really can control him!"
Satoru Gojo waved a hand, and the floating rubble fell.
Yuji patted his head in distress. "But he's so noisy. I can hear that guy's voice."
"If that's all, it's practically a miracle."
As he spoke, Satoru Gojo walked toward Yuji Itadori, pressed his index and middle fingers against the space between his brows with a sharp tap, and Yuji's eyelids grew heavy as he fell unconscious.
"What did you do?" Megumi Fushiguro asked.
"Put him to sleep. If he isn't possessed by Sukuna when he wakes up, then he's most likely a 'vessel.' Now, a question: what should we do with him?"
"Even if he's a vessel, under Jujutsu regulations, Itadori is still subject to execution... But I don't want him to die."
"Is that a personal feeling?"
"It is. Please find a way." Awww, Megumi was so cute. I loved him.
"Hahahaha, since my adorable student asked, leave it to me." Satoru Gojo gave him a thumbs-up.
Kitty Gojo really was a good teacher! He was taking his kids under his wing!
Wait, why was Mr. 285 walking toward me? Yuji was still on the ground.
"You should come with me too, miss~"
Before I could speak, he poked me unconscious too.
Damn it.
Back in the system space, the system and I stared at each other.
Megumi Fushiguro looked accusingly at him. "...What are you planning to do to an innocent high school girl?"
"Ah~ What are you thinking, Megumi? I just think she has a lot of potential. A gifted Cursed Speech User who can use Cursed Speech freely-don't you want to recruit her to keep Toge company~?"
"No."
"Wow, Megumi, you're so cold and heartless~"
"...We're taking Itadori too, right?"
"That's right. Have a nice walk!"
Before you continue