The next morning.
Shinichi had planned to head to the police force for work as usual, only to find Kakashi blocking his way.
"Big brother, Lord Hokage wants to see you."
Who knew what had gotten into Kakashi? He looked at Shinichi with eyes full of resentment and helplessness.
"Got it."
Shinichi casually gave Kakashi a loud flick on the forehead, then immediately formed hand seals and summoned a Shadow Clone to stay behind and cook for Naruto and Karin.
"Original, why are you making me cook again?"
The Shadow Clone couldn't help protesting. "Being your Shadow Clone is way too hard! Making nutritious meals for kids every day is bad enough, but I have to do all sorts of annoying chores too. Worst of all, I don't get paid! I've got it worse than a black slave! You're loaded anyway, so why can't you just hire a nanny?"
Who knew what kind of bug this was? Everyone else's Shadow Clones were perfectly obedient, but Shinichi's spent all day complaining to him, making them a pain to order around.
"Don't be stupid! If you do the work, isn't that the same as me doing it? Why waste money hiring a nanny?"
Shinichi snapped.
Everyone knew that when a Shadow Clone disappeared, all its memories and fatigue returned to the original.
Otherwise, why would it be called a Shadow Clone?
"I don't care! You're exploiting me, and one of these days, I'm reporting you to the Workers' Association!"
The Shadow Clone curled his lip.
"Sure. I'll be waiting."
Shinichi sneered. "Come back when you've actually founded the Workers' Association!"
With that, he walked straight out.
The disgruntled Shadow Clone stamped his feet in fury, but obediently stayed behind to work.
Kakashi, who had watched the whole spectacle from the sidelines, was speechless. He had never seen a Shadow Clone so determined to defy its original. His big brother really was different from everyone else-even his Shadow Clones had this much personality.
"Morning, big brother Shinichi!"
Still bleary-eyed after waking up, Naruto and Karin made their way to the dining table out of habit and greeted the unfortunate Shadow Clone slaving away in the kitchen.
"What do you mean, morning?"
The Shadow Clone immediately set two plates of beautifully prepared, delicious breakfast in front of the children. His eyes widened as he grumbled, "Your dear big brother Shinichi already left! I'm cooking for you again today!"
"Oh! It's you again, big brother Clone!"
"Then where did big brother Shinichi go? He seems really busy lately!"
The two children exchanged puzzled looks.
This wasn't their first encounter with Shinichi's bizarrely eccentric Shadow Clone. He had been handling most of their meals these past few days.
To be fair, odd as this Shadow Clone was, his cooking was beyond reproach. He had inherited every bit of the original's skill.
"No idea!"
The Shadow Clone snapped, "I hope he dies out there!"
"But you're only a Shadow Clone. If big brother Shinichi dies, you'll disappear too."
Karin teased him, holding back her laughter.
"Karin's right!"
Naruto earnestly offered a well-meaning reminder. "Big brother Clone, you can't be so unreasonable. You and big brother Shinichi are the same person, so what's there to fight about? Aren't you just cursing yourself? That makes no sense!"
"No, it makes perfect sense!"
The Shadow Clone curled his lip, revealing his remarkably peculiar train of thought. "If I die, nothing happens to him. But if he dies, I die too! Obviously, I'm the vulnerable one here, so what's wrong with cursing him out now and then? He created me without my permission, so I have an inherent right to insult him!"
Such formidable logic.
It utterly stunned Naruto's and Karin's little minds.
Kakashi was even more exasperated. Wasn't this Shadow Clone a little too bizarre?
"What are you staring at? Want me to beat you up?"
Seemingly sensing Kakashi's strange gaze, the Shadow Clone launched into another tirade. "You're my original's little brother, which makes you my little brother too! Disrespect your elder brother, and I'll kill myself right now so the original gets my memories and comes back to beat the crap out of you! Don't say I didn't warn you. A Shadow Clone like me will even kill himself when he loses it!"
"???"
Kakashi's face became a picture of utter bafflement.
You're insane!
What kind of Shadow Clone even is this? Could you possibly get any weirder?
Unbelievable. Has my standing in this household fallen below even a Shadow Clone's now? Me, Kakashi Hatate?
Kakashi had caught a stray and was now experiencing humiliation in real time.
The Hokage's Office.
"Shinichi, you're putting me in a very difficult position!"
The Third Hokage looked at the stubbornly unreceptive Shinichi before him and spoke with weary frustration.
Why had he specifically summoned Shinichi?
Naturally, it was because of all the bizarre law enforcement antics Shinichi had been pulling lately to destroy his own reputation!
Complaints from villagers about Shinichi were practically filling his office. "Konoha's Hero" was history now. Shinichi had earned a new title: Konoha's Bane.
To stop Shinichi from continuing this self-destructive behavior, the Third Hokage had spent ages trying every possible argument. He had even openly stated that he wanted to groom Shinichi as his successor.
Yet the brat kept playing deaf and dumb and changing the subject, utterly shameless and impervious to criticism.
"Lord Hokage, what are you talking about? I've only been carrying out perfectly normal law enforcement. How could that make things difficult for you?"
Shinichi wore a cheerful smile while inwardly cursing up a storm.
Another person trying to force me to become Hokage!
Hiruzen Sarutobi, you rotten old bastard!
"If you were really enforcing the law normally, why would I be receiving so many complaints?"
The Third Hokage asked helplessly.
"But I've been following the rules! Those people really did violate the public security regulations, so I just taught them a little lesson in my own way!"
Shinichi put on an innocent expression and explained, "Lord Hokage, ask them yourself if you don't believe me. When have I ever injured anyone? If a hospital examination finds even the slightest injury, I'll admit that I acted improperly!"
The Third Hokage rolled his eyes, not even wanting to comment.
You haven't hurt their bodies, but you've trampled all over their minds!
"Perhaps assigning you to the Konoha Military Police Force wasn't the right decision."
The Third Hokage sighed softly.
He was already considering transferring Shinichi elsewhere.
He had little choice. If Shinichi kept wreaking havoc in the Konoha Military Police Force like this, even he, the Hokage, would never have another peaceful day. Hadn't Shinichi seen those piles upon piles of complaints in the corner?
"Don't do that, Lord Hokage. The Konoha Military Police Force needs talent like mine."
Shinichi immediately said, "Going to the police force is like coming home. Everyone there is talented, and they all have such a way with words. I absolutely love it there..."
"Enough!"
Defeated by Shinichi's endless sophistry, the Third Hokage finally made his decision. "I can hold off on transferring you for now, but you must take a month of mandatory leave first. Once this blows over, I'll reconsider whether you should remain in the police force."
"Leave?"
Shinichi paused, then instinctively asked, "Paid leave?"
Who would've thought this old geezer could be so accommodating? I was just worrying about finding time to visit the Land of Water!
And now he's handing me paid leave on a platter!
"Ahem..."
The Third Hokage nearly choked on his smoke and shot him a glare. "Yes!"
The Hatake Clan is so wealthy. Do you really need that pocket change?
Still, he didn't quibble with Shinichi over such a trivial matter. As long as this little menace stopped causing him trouble, that was enough.
Knock, knock!
Just then, a knock at the door interrupted them.
"Lord Hokage, Clan Head Fugaku of the Uchiha is here to see you."
"Fugaku?"
Something flickered in the Third Hokage's eyes, and he nodded. "Let him in!"
After giving that instruction, he signaled with his eyes to the entirely unperturbed Shinichi, clearly telling him to excuse himself.
As head of the Uchiha, Fugaku surely had something important to discuss in private if he had come without warning. He wouldn't want anyone else listening in.
But Shinichi started playing dumb again, standing there as though he hadn't noticed a thing.
"Ahem, Shinichi..."
Unable to get through to him, the Third Hokage could only cough and keep hinting.
"Oh!"
Shinichi looked as though he had realized something, understanding dawning on his face.
The brat finally got it.
The Third Hokage felt a little relieved.
But what Shinichi did next nearly made him swear.
The brat casually found a comfortable chair and sat down, crossing his legs with a smile. "Lord Hokage, if you didn't want me standing around, you could've just said so! Why be so formal with me? It's not my first time here!"
For fuck's sake!
Have you no shame?
The Third Hokage no longer knew what to say.
"Lord Hokage."
At that very unfortunate moment, Fugaku walked in.
The atmosphere immediately grew awkward. Only Shinichi acted as though nothing was wrong, even leisurely helping himself to the tea and snacks on the table in an infuriating display that nearly drove the Third Hokage mad.
You little brat!
Those were the snacks I specifically saved for my late-night meal!
Before you continue