He Offered Too Much

Ten seconds earlier.

Satoru Gojo had walked along with a spring in his step, chattering nonstop as he tried to get Aikawa Kaze to call him Dad.

Aikawa Kaze had been cold and merciless, his face expressionless the whole time as he played the ice king.

He had declared that calling him Dad was impossible, that it would never happen in this lifetime. Dream on!

Ten seconds later...

If Satoru Gojo was willing to use Teleportation to pick up his takeout every day, he could consider it.

If Satoru Gojo was willing to give him a precious Holy Relic he desperately needed...

Aikawa Kaze hesitated, then asked a question.

"Whose Holy Relic?"

"Hmm~~~ Too bad! I bought this as a first-meeting present for my adorable, darling baby boy!"

"If I could establish Resonance through a Holy Relic, I could definitely make further progress in researching positive energy... Spirit Power, and exploring Heroic Spirits and gods."

Aikawa Kaze widened his eyes and gave Satoru Gojo an accusing look.

They had already agreed on the terms of their cooperation. One of those terms was that Satoru Gojo would help collect objects left behind by ancient heroes to assist him with Heroic Spirit Summoning.

Although the ancient Heroic Spirits of this world certainly couldn't be summoned, perhaps those objects would still have some effect?

Given the striking similarities in the historical and cultural development of the various Earths he knew of, he figured they might boost his chances. Failing that, he could keep them as collectibles and use them once this world's system was fully established.

So Aikawa Kaze did indeed want Holy Relics belonging to ancient heroes to test his theory.

What happened to helping each other and working together for mutual benefit?

Aikawa Kaze stared at Satoru Gojo, attempting one final struggle.

He wanted to convey that doing this hurt others without benefiting himself!

The research materials were already here, yet his sponsor was holding them back for some bizarre reason. What a scumbag!

But who was Satoru Gojo?

He was The Strongest in Jujutsu Society, the willful, self-centered man who stood alone as the honored one throughout heaven and earth!

As though he couldn't understand what he heard or saw, Satoru Gojo simply smiled at Aikawa Kaze.

"So, will you call me Dad?"

"Tell me whose Holy Relic it is first."

"It's one of Gilgamesh's clay tablets!"

"Dad!"

Without even hesitating for half a second, Aikawa Kaze decisively called out.

Although Gilgamesh's Golden Rule was excellent, that King of Heroes had an impossibly difficult personality. Considering the King of Heroes' Master who had gotten killed, he figured he was better off not summoning him.

However, he was very interested in Gilgamesh's best buddy, Enkidu. Perhaps he could summon him through Gilgamesh's clay tablet?

If it was Enkidu, his personality would be much easier to deal with.

And so, once he realized the key point, Aikawa Kaze surrendered without hesitation.

Sigh... He had originally intended to refuse.

But he couldn't help it. Satoru Gojo was offering too much!

What was dignity? What were principles? Could he eat them?

Since he couldn't, he might as well throw those useless things away and happily live off a rich woman!

Never mind calling Satoru Gojo Dad. He could even make Aikawa Kaze say, "Sugar mommy, feed me, I'm hungry!"

"That actually sounds pretty interesting?"

It was clearly Satoru Gojo's first time hearing that particular phrasing. Utterly shameless, he was quite interested and thought he might record a video.

"Come on, say it for me?"

"Where's my Holy Relic?"

Aikawa Kaze held out his hand, showing no intention of indulging Satoru Gojo.

"If you want to hear more, trade me Karna's Holy Relic."

"Karna?" Satoru Gojo searched his memory. The name sounded a little familiar. "I see. The son of the sun god Surya in the Indian epic Mahabharata, the Hero of Charity."

That Heroic Spirit, known as the Hero of Charity, was famous for his kindness and for never refusing a request. He really would make an excellent summoning target.

"But Gilgamesh is pretty good too, right? Isn't this King of Heroes worth calling me Dad twice?"

"No."

Aikawa Kaze refused and held out his hand for the materials.

He had already called him Dad. At the very least, he should get the clay tablet, right?

If Satoru Gojo actually found Karna's Holy Relic next time, he would naturally be happy to call him that again.

"Ah, what a shame! I guess I'll have to wait for another chance." Satoru Gojo wasn't in any hurry at all. Smiling, he asked, "Are you sure you can't say it a couple more times? I haven't had my fill yet!"

"Heh."

"Well, there's no helping it. Since Kaze-chan won't grant this tiny little wish, I'll just have to do it myself."

Satoru Gojo sighed theatrically, looking at Aikawa Kaze as though to say, "I gave you a chance, but you didn't appreciate it," then ostentatiously raised his phone.

"Luckily, your clever Gojo Sensei recorded it! It's settled-this is going to be Gojo Sensei's ringtone from now on!"

As soon as he finished speaking, Aikawa Kaze's loud call began playing from the phone on an endless loop...

"Dad, Dad, Dad-"

"..."

Must-stay-calm!!!

A vein bulged on Aikawa Kaze's forehead as he forcibly suppressed his urge to murder a certain mischievous bastard of a cat.

He had to keep reminding himself that he really couldn't beat him!

He would just have to turn his own methods against him again. He had experience with that now.

Attack negated! Reflect!

Aikawa Kaze felt much more composed.

The first time, he had needed to force down his embarrassment to say those lines. Now, however, he felt a strange sense of calm.

"As expected of my voice. Even when I'm calling someone Dad, it sounds this good."

-Exactly. As long as I'm not embarrassed, someone else will be!

Aikawa Kaze's expression even looked somewhat serene. Although he still found it humiliating, it was much better than the initial embarrassment that had made him want to dig an entire Forbidden City with his toes.

Was it because he had gone numb?

Whatever. That worked out perfectly.

As long as he didn't react, this big cat who amused himself by provoking people would get bored and end this painful torment, right?

You can do this, Aikawa Kaze!

You're already a mature member of society who can smile on the outside while cursing up a storm inside!

After giving himself a few words of encouragement and a mental thumbs-up, Aikawa Kaze's smile became much more genuine.

"I never imagined you liked me this much, Gojo Sensei. What am I supposed to do with you?"

"That's right. Your teacher just loves Kaze-chan!"

Satoru Gojo really hadn't expected Aikawa Kaze to "grow" so quickly. His emotional shifts had been somewhat stiff before, but now they were much more natural.

At this rate, Aikawa Kaze would probably grow into a man who "never acted out of character, no matter what he did" and "could spout shameless nonsense without batting an eye"!

However, Satoru Gojo still had a secret weapon this time.

Satoru Gojo flashed a meaningful grin and nodded.

"I never thought great minds like ours would think alike! In that case, Kaze-chan, you'll definitely support me using such a lovely voice as my ringtone, right? You understand, don't you?"

"!!!"

Aikawa Kaze's pupils abruptly contracted as he stared at Satoru Gojo in utter shock.

You really are the expert at being a bastard!

His body instantly stiffened. Imagining that ringtone going off while Satoru Gojo bought sweets, taught classes, or went on missions, he broke out in a cold sweat.

If Satoru Gojo set that as his ringtone, his humiliating history would likely reach not only his fellow students at Jujutsu High and the Assistant Supervisors, but also every other member of Jujutsu Society and client he might meet in the future, whether he knew them or not.

Even though he often said, "My dignity means nothing to me," Aikawa Kaze truly couldn't imagine how mortifying it would be after everyone heard that recording.

If his previous embarrassment could be compared to being called into a teacher's office for a private talk, being criticized in front of the class, or being reprimanded before the entire school...

This was outright public humiliation on the internet!

With his personal information attached, no less.

He could act without restraint around Satoru Gojo because the man himself loved messing around and had plenty of embarrassing history he didn't care about. Naturally, Kaze could let loose too. But if that audience expanded...

Cold sweat beaded on Aikawa Kaze's forehead, and his expression became painfully stiff. Emotionally, he wanted to stop this, but reason told him to hold back.

At a time like this, whoever cracked first would lose!

But it was seriously too humiliating-aaaaah!

Just as Aikawa Kaze struggled, Satoru Gojo added another remark.

"Oh, right. I'll have to recommend this lovely ringtone to Megumi too!"

Satoru Gojo eagerly began composing a message. Under Aikawa Kaze's terrified gaze, he whispered like a devil.

"Megumi has always refused to call me Dad! Even though I'm his guardian and have raised him for so many years... Hmm, since you've already said it as his little brother, his big brother should naturally lead by example. He can't fall behind his little brother!"

"...You win."

Aikawa Kaze finally wore a mask of agony.

He still wanted to present himself as a dependable, upright, serious older brother in front of Megumi Fushiguro!

Regardless of their ages, in Aikawa Kaze's mind, he was the older brother!

He absolutely refused to suffer that kind of humiliation in front of his little brother!!!!

That was the last stubborn stand of a self-proclaimed older brother.

Aikawa Kaze absolutely did not want to wait until Megumi enrolled next year, only to hear him say, "Okkotsu is the only upperclassman in all of Jujutsu High worth respecting... Aikawa Kaze? He's another bleep, bleep, bleep-"

"I was wrong. I really was wrong."

Aikawa Kaze covered his face and admitted his mistake in agony.

"I thought I'd already thrown away my principles, but reality has proven that I'm still a normal person with boundaries, a conscience, and a sense of shame."

"No, no~~~ Kaze-chan, your self-control still needs just a teensy billion times more work!"

"Yes, yes. Compared to you, I'm not even worthy of carrying your shoes! Really!"

Aikawa Kaze wanted to cry but had no tears left, and inwardly steeled himself.

It's settled! I'm buying some kind of signal jammer later, or hiring a hacker to hack Gojo Sensei's phone!

Wait, doesn't the system completely outclass everything in high technology?

As Aikawa Kaze realized this, his expression gradually steadied from the brink of collapse. He realized he wasn't entirely without options.

How stupid of me. Why didn't I think of that earlier?

It was clearly because Satoru Gojo had pulled so many outrageous stunts that he had broken through his defenses. Otherwise, he would have thought of it long ago.

System? System! Hack Satoru Gojo's phone for me!

System, where are you?

Calling the system! Calling the system!

Earlier, Aikawa Kaze hadn't wanted the system monitoring him all the time, so he had sent it off to work various side jobs. As a result, it lacked enough processing capacity and failed to respond immediately.

Aikawa Kaze didn't know whether to be relieved that the system wasn't actually watching him twenty-four hours a day or upset that he couldn't hack Satoru Gojo's phone right away.

Unaware of Aikawa Kaze's inner scheming, Satoru Gojo was very pleased with his victory.

*Finally, a match where I completely crushed him! So happy! (*^▽^*)*

When it came to experience in public humiliation, the other man still had a long way to go!

"Keep working hard, Kaze-chan!"

"I know... So can you turn off the ringtone?"

"That would be-a no, of course!"

"..."

Aikawa Kaze stared expressionlessly at Satoru Gojo, continuously calling for the system in his mind.

He really wasn't sufficiently disciplined yet and needed more training, but...

Why did Satoru Gojo have to be such an asshole?!

With a dark expression, Aikawa Kaze watched him open an audio-editing app and, in a few deft moves, turn his voice into a ridiculous sped-up endless loop.

"Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad-"

The look in someone's eyes when they wanted to stab another person couldn't be hidden.

Even though he tried to comfort himself that this was no loss-that trading a single "Dad" for Gilgamesh's clay tablet was an incredible bargain-that absolutely did not include being publicly humiliated!

If not for the fact that he couldn't win, Aikawa Kaze was certain he would beat Satoru Gojo ninety-nine percent to death right now, then dump him with Ieiri Sensei to be dissected ninety-nine times before healing him again.

Damn it! I'm remembering this!

"Gojo Sensei, are you really not going to stop?"

"Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad-"

"Nooo~~~ I want to appreciate it a little longer! Hahahaha, this voice sounds so good~~ Hahaha~~~"

"I feel like I might be able to summon the Earl or the Furies in my current state."

Unable to fight back because of the vast disparity in their strength, Aikawa Kaze quietly took a summoning circle out of his pocket.

As the ancients said, misfortune was where fortune leaned, and fortune was where misfortune lurked.

Perhaps this intense desire for revenge could summon an Avenger?

"If the summoning succeeds, I'll curse you to lose your sense of taste, Gojo Sensei, so you'll never taste sweetness again-or would you prefer having your sense of taste reversed? Like sweet food tasting spicy?"

"Gah!"

Satoru Gojo's laughter stopped abruptly. He realized that Aikawa Kaze seemed to be genuinely angry.

Even more frightening was the possibility that he really could do it. After all, no one's research into Spirit Power currently ran deeper than Aikawa Kaze's.

Curses like that probably weren't mere fiction.

"Ahem. A joke. I was only joking~~ Kaze-chan, don't be so serious!"

Satoru Gojo's laughter abruptly stopped, and silence instantly settled over them.

Feeling the sudden quiet, Aikawa Kaze was actually a little moved.

-Finally, some peace and quiet for my ears.

But before he could enjoy more than a few seconds of relief, a teenage boy's voice came from behind him. The sheer complexity of the emotions in it was obvious from his voice alone.

"Mr. Gojo... and you, too. What are you doing?"

"..."

Only then did Aikawa Kaze realize that Satoru Gojo had stopped walking with him at some point.

Looking up, he found that he had been brought to an apartment without even noticing, and the nameplate on it read "Fushiguro."

He looked at the boy again. He had spiky, sea-urchin-like black hair and green eyes, and stood at the entrance holding several shopping bags.

With that signature hairstyle, he had to be Megumi Fushiguro!

Judging by his expression, he had clearly heard that long, maddening string of "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy-"

Aikawa Kaze's face went completely blank.

This was absolutely not how he had imagined their first meeting!

He was a perfectly respectable person, really!