A guilty conscience

Yu Nian swallowed, at something of a loss for words.

He thought of how inconsistent he had been lately, how he had alternately drawn close to Qin Yuheng and pulled away, tying himself in knots over this whole thing. Yet this man had figured it out so long ago and never told him.

Yu Nian was a little annoyed. "If you knew, why didn't you say anything? You had me worrying for ages."

Qin Yuheng asked patiently, "Worrying about what?"

"That you'd hate me, that you'd get back at me, that we... wouldn't be able to stay friends." Yu Nian was a little embarrassed as he spoke.

A smile lingered in Qin Yuheng's eyes. "That was my fault. I apologize."

Startled, Yu Nian hurriedly waved his hands. "No, no, no! Why are you apologizing to me? I'm the one who should apologize."

Qin Yuheng knew about him and Qin Yu because he was clever enough to work it out himself.

He hadn't known how anxious and worried Yu Nian had been, so how could Yu Nian blame him?

He had only thought of how agonizing that period had been and let a couple of complaints slip out.

"You don't need to apologize either. It's your private business. You don't owe me an explanation."

"I just thought, well, it does involve your brother," Yu Nian said, letting out a relieved breath. "And a lot of straight men find it pretty hard to understand."

Qin Yuheng: "..."

Yu Nian didn't notice his silence and went on, "I misunderstood you. You're such a good person, Brother Yu. Of course you'd be understanding."

"But," Yu Nian said uncertainly, "Qin Yu is your brother, after all, and you came together. Aren't you going back with him?"

Although Qin Yuheng didn't seem angry, would he still keep his distance from Yu Nian for his brother's sake?

Yu Nian was giving Qin Yuheng an easy way to leave. If Qin Yuheng went down the mountain with Qin Yu, it would mean this still bothered him, and he was simply too well-mannered to hold it against Yu Nian.

Then Yu Nian certainly wouldn't be able to remain friends with Qin Yuheng.

But that was all right. Qin Yu was the one related to him by blood. After such an ugly falling-out between Yu Nian and Qin Yu, Qin Yuheng would surely side with his brother.

Yu Nian had long since prepared himself to accept that. Besides, Qin Yuheng hadn't taken him to task, and Yu Nian already felt lucky enough.

Still, the thought of growing distant from Qin Yuheng left him feeling sad.

"He's him, and I'm me."

"Coming together doesn't necessarily mean we'll take the same path."

Qin Yuheng looked at him. "Or is it that, because he did something wrong, you don't want to see me either?"

"That's not what I meant." Yu Nian suddenly looked at him and hastily denied it, then quickly turned his head away again, his breathing growing a little tight. "Then, what are you...?"

Qin Yuheng took another step forward. His presence filled the distance Yu Nian had just put between them again, carrying a crisp plum-blossom fragrance that drifted into Yu Nian's nose.

Yu Nian heard his gentle voice. "Would you mind having another companion along the way?"

Yu Nian lifted his eyes and smiled in relief. "Of course not."

Perhaps because Qin Yu, that nuisance, was gone, Yu Nian stayed in a good mood throughout the second half of the hike, tiring though it was.

Knowing Qin Yuheng walked faster, Yu Nian even asked whether he wanted to go ahead.

Qin Yuheng shook his head. "This is fine."

Yu Nian said a little sheepishly, "My stamina isn't that great, so I might be a bit slow."

Qin Yuheng said casually, "That's all right."

Yu Nian smiled. "You said it. Don't blame me if we can't get down the mountain."

Qin Yuheng looked like quite a serious person, yet Yu Nian always felt much more at ease around him and less guarded about what he said.

"Mm. I won't blame you. As long as you're happy."

Yu Nian held his gaze for two seconds, then silently turned around.

A whole stream of comments floated through his mind.

Things like, Wow, Qin Yuheng is so easygoing. He's really accommodating with his friends.

He took a bottle of water from his bag and offered it to Qin Yuheng. "Brother Yu, want some water?"

Then he grabbed a handful of candy and held that out too.

Qin Yuheng accepted everything.

Yu Nian smiled to himself and hefted his backpack. Wow, that had taken quite a bit of weight off.

And so Yu Nian walked and stopped along the way, occasionally taking photos or recording videos whenever he spotted a nice view. At first, he worried about holding Qin Yuheng up, but seeing that Qin Yuheng kept following at an unhurried pace without ever rushing him or showing any displeasure, Yu Nian completely let himself go.

He asked, "Brother Yu, you said you used to be a photographer? Are you better at portraits or landscapes?"

Qin Yuheng said, "Either. Want me to take some photos of you?"

Handing over his phone, Yu Nian said, "Oh, I couldn't possibly impose! Then take a couple of me over there."

"And record a video for me while you're at it. I'll see if I can use it as material to upload."

Qin Yuheng chuckled. "Sure. Want me to hold your bag?"

Embarrassed but entirely honest about it, Yu Nian handed that over too.

He spotted a rock beside a stream where lots of people were taking photos and went over to join in.

Only after the people ahead had left did Yu Nian walk over.

It was winter, and the stream was fairly gentle, flowing over the rocks in tiny splashes.

Seeing that the rock Yu Nian stood on was uneven, Qin Yuheng warned him, "Watch your footing. Don't fall."

"Don't worry." Yu Nian made an OK sign at him, but Qin Yuheng still moved a little closer.

He took a few more photos of Yu Nian in different poses.

Yu Nian said, "Done? I'm coming down."

"Mm."

Yu Nian jumped down happily. The rock wasn't very high, but there were lots of smooth little stones where he landed. He lost his balance and wobbled, nearly falling backward into the water.

Qin Yuheng reacted instantly, stepping forward to catch his wrist and pull him toward him.

Yu Nian stumbled straight into his arms.

Perhaps the collision had dazed him, because Yu Nian didn't pull away immediately.

He swallowed, his throat a little dry, and caught sight of Qin Yuheng's neck out of the corner of his eye.

Qin Yuheng wore a black turtleneck underneath his outer layer. His neck was long, and the collar only just covered half his Adam's apple, giving him a restrained sort of sex appeal.

Yu Nian saw that slightly protruding Adam's apple seem to move, and his gaze unconsciously went blank.

Then a few teasing voices rang out nearby. "Ooh~"

Yu Nian straightened up, blushing a little. Staring at Qin Yuheng's chest, he sounded thoroughly guilty. "Th-thank you."

Thinking back to what had just happened, Yu Nian couldn't stop berating himself. Even if I'm gay, I can't just stare at a straight man's Adam's apple. What was that about?

Not to mention, he's my ex's older brother.