Friends

"Yin Sufang, don't act on impulse." Pei Yang shot Yin Sufang a meaningful look.

Getting an offer from FK was no easy feat. Even if FK Exhibitions was a small company, it was still part of the FK Group, and the value of having such a powerful backer went without saying. With Yin Sufang's abilities, a few more years there would surely bring opportunities for advancement. Resigning now meant throwing away two years.

"Pei Yang, if I didn't know the truth, I might have had the nerve to keep hanging around," Yin Sufang said numbly. "But now that I know, I can't pretend nothing happened."

Pei Yang frowned.

Yin Sufang forced the corners of his mouth up and said softly, "There are nineteen people in the Exhibition Planning Department. Apart from you, I considered all of them my friends."

"I really never expected you to be the only one who would speak up for me when everything went to hell."

Pei Yang froze, unsure how to respond.

Yin Sufang didn't wait for an answer. He looked straight at Lan Shuang. "I'll email you my resignation letter later."

With that, he strode away.

"Yin Sufang!"

Pei Yang chased him out into the open-plan office, where Yin Sufang was already packing up his desk.

The other coworkers seemed to have anticipated this outcome. Each kept their head lower than the next, their pretend typing forming an ironic contrast to the sounds of Yin Sufang packing.

Ever since joining FK after graduation, Pei Yang had sat opposite Yin Sufang. Whenever he looked up, it wasn't his monitor he saw, but Yin Sufang.

Though they didn't get along and had always regarded each other as rivals, trading plenty of harsh words, mockery, and barbed remarks, Pei Yang found that he would actually feel lonely if that seat was empty tomorrow, or occupied by someone else. Once Yin Sufang left, he wouldn't even have anyone to bicker with. Wouldn't he be bored to death?

But this was Yin Sufang's decision, and Pei Yang had no right to interfere. He just felt that it shouldn't end this way for him.

How could someone who held his head so high leave with it bowed?

"Yin Sufang, if Boss Lan really gives me the transfer to Headquarters, I'll turn it down," Pei Yang said, quietly watching him pack. "You don't have to leave. If I refuse to go to Headquarters, the spot will be yours."

"Pei Yang, you really are an idiot." Yin Sufang's hands slowly stilled. "Helping me like this-is it pity? Charity?"

"It's not!" Pei Yang hurriedly said.

"But that's how it feels to me." Yin Sufang's voice was calm, betraying no emotion. "With everything I've contributed to FK Exhibitions, Lan Shuang can't fire me. I could swallow the humiliation and stay here until the next internal transfer opens up. But I have my pride."

Pei Yang fell silent.

Yin Sufang packed faster, lifting his eyes every so often.

Other people might not understand the gesture, but Pei Yang did. He did the same thing when he didn't want his tears to fall.

One small cardboard box held all of Yin Sufang's memories from his two years at FK. He took the employee badge from around his neck and tossed it onto the desktop he had always cared for so meticulously, then brushed past Pei Yang without a backward glance.

Growing up, Pei Yang had made a habit of not explaining, not asking, and not interfering. He always kept two phrases firmly in mind: "What's it to you?" and "What's it to me?" Yet his tendency to keep his mouth shut had cost him dearly.

In college, faced with vile labels like "a murderer's son," "a freak who likes men," "a stuck-up poser," and "a slut who seduces straight guys," he had chosen to endure it. He had built a shell around himself and let those words spread unchecked, never explaining.

Later, Song Yixiao and Xia Jingmo had burst into his life, bringing him a different tomorrow and pulling him out of his shell bit by bit. He trusted them both so much that even when they often went out together without him, he never thought anything was wrong. He never asked what exactly they did when they were alone together.

Later still, Song Yixiao grew busier and busier at work, coming home later and later, even spending entire weekends out. As Song Yixiao's boyfriend, Pei Yang neither interfered nor asked questions.

With all these things, if he had only spoken up, it would never have come to this.

"Yin Sufang." Pei Yang resolved not to stay silent this time. He caught Yin Sufang's arm and said, "Whether you believe me or not, I have to explain. We were in the same batch of interns. When none of us knew each other yet, you were already getting along with everyone around you, buddying up with the trainers and our direct supervisors without any sense of boundaries. So when you came over to introduce yourself, all I felt was that your light hurt my eyes."

"I scorned the idea of cultivating relationships with coworkers or sucking up to supervisors, so I looked down on what you did. Over time, we started scowling at each other and refusing to let anything go. You wouldn't concede to me, and I was even less willing to concede to you. But it wasn't until today that I realized you weren't networking or sucking up. That was just how you connected with people."

"You just wanted to share your light with everyone." The more Pei Yang spoke, the more his voice trembled. "I just didn't understand back then. Maybe it's too late to say this now, but I'm afraid that if I don't, I'll never get another chance. Yin Sufang, rather than saying I hated you, it would be more accurate to say I envied you. I envied how confident and uninhibited you were."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I'm only telling you this now. I-!"

An embrace cut Pei Yang off. Yin Sufang dropped the heavy box in his hands and hooked both arms tightly around Pei Yang's neck.

Pei Yang stood stunned for a while, until wet tears fell onto his shoulder.

"Yin Sufang..."

"You fucking..." Breathing hard, Yin Sufang spoke so softly through clenched teeth that he was almost inaudible. "Why didn't you say so sooner?"

"..."

Pei Yang's tense body gradually relaxed. He hugged Yin Sufang back and smiled, finally letting go.

Rain was frequent in autumn. A fine drizzle pattered down, enveloping the world in damp, dreary cold. Time slipped past, and at the first meeting of the month, Boss Lan announced that Pei Yang would be transferred internally to Headquarters.

Enthusiastic applause broke out. Whatever else these coworkers couldn't do, they were certainly good at providing atmosphere.

Everyone smiled as they congratulated Pei Yang, but he couldn't smile.

The seat Yin Sufang usually occupied in the meeting room was empty. Pei Yang couldn't shake the feeling that he hadn't earned this opportunity himself, and receiving it this way left him anxious and uneasy.

After the meeting, Pei Yang went up to the company rooftop and called Yin Sufang to tell him.

Yin Sufang gave a dismissive snort. "And here I thought something had happened. Quit humblebragging. It's like a competition: I dropped out halfway through, while you kept moving forward and left everyone else further behind. You won first place fair and square, without stealing or cheating. What's there to feel guilty or uneasy about?"

Hearing Yin Sufang put it that way made Pei Yang feel a little better.

"Relax and do a good job at Headquarters... Who knows, maybe you can even refer me for a position there."

Pei Yang frowned. "You... still haven't found a job?"

"Don't even get me started. I swallowed my pride and sent my résumé to a few second-rate companies. Once they saw that my last employer was FK, they asked why I'd resigned. Then they ran a background check, and-fuck-a major incident caused by a lapse on my part. Who would dare hire me?"

"..." Pei Yang worried on his behalf. "I told you that you shouldn't have acted on impulse."

"Don't lecture me. I don't regret it," Yin Sufang said. "You have no idea how great it is not having a job. I sleep until I wake up naturally every day and go wherever I want."

"Is it really that great?" Pei Yang asked flatly.

"Boohoohoo, waaah..." Yin Sufang couldn't keep up the act anymore and burst into tears. "I'm unemployed and I still have rent to pay! I'm about ready to become a male escort!! Fuck, if I'd known, I would've shamelessly insisted on adding Director Feng on WeChat at the exhibition that day. What if he really did fancy me!? At worst, I'd act cute and let him fuck me, and there's my job, right? Director Feng is so handsome... Sleeping with him wouldn't be a loss, either."