A fate worse than death

Time slipped into late September, with the start of winter already in sight.

Over the past few days, Yang Ge had introduced Copper Hot Pot Lamb at the Welcome Inn. The novel way of eating it and its flavor drew crowds of customers with money to spare.

Business was so good that they worked from noon until the curfew forced them to close every day. Shopkeeper Liu grinned from ear to ear, his calls across the dining hall rising and falling with magnificent flair...

In Great Wei, mutton was prized and pork was cheap. One sheep cost as much as several fat pigs.

With costs that high, Copper Hot Pot Lamb naturally wasn't cheap either. Each plate held two taels of meat and sold for thirty copper coins-almost as much as Yang Ge's monthly rent.

Even at that price, the inn only broke even on the mutton. All the profit came from drinks and side dishes...

Naturally, they couldn't let Master Lu practice his knife skills on such expensive meat.

Yang Ge wielded the knife himself, approaching it like saber practice. Every slice was paper-thin, translucent against the firelight. Cut that way, two taels of meat could fill a large, neatly arranged plate.

The quantity was still the same, but after spending thirty copper coins, surely the sight of such a generous plate of mutton made a customer feel better?

That day, Yang Ge worked in the kitchen until evening. Just as closing time approached, Shopkeeper Liu hurried in. "Trouble, trouble! Young fellow, that dark-faced man's here again!"

Yang Ge was putting away the knives and chopping board. At those words, he turned to look at Shopkeeper Liu and saw the old man pacing anxiously in front of the stove, panic written all over his face.

"Don't panic. Which dark-faced man?"

He stopped working and asked in puzzlement.

Shopkeeper Liu said, "The one who gave you that martial arts book last time... oh, the one who got our inn shut down!"

The old man slapped his thigh, his face full of worry.

"Oh, him..."

Understanding dawned on Yang Ge. He put down the pointed knife, wiped his hands, then picked it up again. "Don't panic. We're open for business, and anyone who comes through the door is a customer. We'll serve him as we would anyone else... right, call Xiao Zhang in and have him take out a copper pot. I'll slice another two plates of mutton and go see him!"

The Xiao Zhang he mentioned was the new waiter who had replaced Wang Dali.

Seeing Yang Ge so calm and unruffled, Shopkeeper Liu steadied considerably. He nodded repeatedly. "Yes, yes, you're right. I'll go attend to him first... how about I fetch your friend Fu Yu, and we slice up another pot's worth of mutton later?"

Yang Ge teased him with a smile. "If you're treating the two of us, I certainly won't object. As for everything else, don't worry. I can handle it!"

Shopkeeper Liu hesitantly circled twice in front of the stove, then asked quietly, "Nothing's going to happen, is it?"

Yang Ge said, "Don't you trust me to handle things?"

Shopkeeper Liu let out a long breath and said gravely, "All right. I'll stay out front, then. I won't go anywhere!"

Yang Ge smiled and nodded. "It really is nothing. He's only come for a meal. Look how frightened you are..."

Shopkeeper Liu murmured an acknowledgment, turned, and hurried out of the kitchen.

Yang Ge lowered his head, his knife flying as he cut slice after slice of mutton.

Half a quarter-hour later, Yang Ge entered the dining hall carrying two plates piled high with sliced mutton.

Shopkeeper Liu pointed him toward the private seating upstairs.

Yang Ge nodded and carried the two plates steadily up to the second floor.

Once again, the second floor was empty.

Once again, he occupied the central table.

Jiang Kui still wore the tiger-skin cloak from his last visit. He sat alone at the table, staring absently at the steaming copper pot before him... only his long, broad Black Saber was missing.

"You haven't seen this way of eating before, have you?"

Yang Ge greeted him first, smiling and speaking with the easy familiarity of an old friend.

Jiang Kui turned his expressionless face toward him. After staring at him for two seconds, his gaze gradually softened. "First time, indeed. Though I don't know how it tastes."

Yang Ge approached with the two plates of mutton. "I guarantee you won't be disappointed."

Jiang Kui looked up at him. "No more customers should be coming at this hour, right?"

Yang Ge replied with a smile, "Normally, even if someone came at this hour, we wouldn't seat them."

Jiang Kui smiled. "Have a few drinks?"

Yang Ge asked, "How well can you hold your liquor?"

Jiang Kui said, "Outdrinking ten of you wouldn't be a problem!"

Yang Ge said, "Then you'll have to pay for the meal first. A few drinks with you are no trouble, but we can't keep our shopkeeper waiting on you until midnight, can we?"

Jiang Kui nodded. "Only right!"

He reached into his robe, took out a fist-sized silver ingot, and gently set it on the table. "Enough?"

Yang Ge shook his head. "Too much, far too much. That would feed you here for a month!"

Jiang Kui smiled and waved a hand. "Keep it on account. With money left here, maybe I'll come back for another bite..."

Yang Ge studied him. He seemed far gentler than on his previous visit.

He replied, "All right. Our inn is an old-established business in Luting County, after all. We certainly won't be closing down in the next few years!"

Jiang Kui only smiled.

Yang Ge took the silver ingot and went downstairs.

Before long, after sending the old shopkeeper on his way, Yang Ge returned upstairs carrying two jars of wine.

By then, the copper pot had come to a rolling boil, bubbling and sending up clouds of steam.

"The water's boiling. We can put the meat in!"

Yang Ge set down the two jars and picked up the bowl in front of Jiang Kui to mix his dipping sauce.

Jiang Kui leaned back in his chair, watching him work with unfocused eyes. Suddenly, he said, "Thanks."

Yang Ge's hands paused briefly. Then he smiled. "Who told you?"

He knew what Jiang Kui meant.

But Jiang Kui's source would determine what he could say.

Jiang Kui quietly uttered a name. "Shen Fa."

Yang Ge gave a soundless snort, set the prepared sauce back in front of Jiang Kui, and sighed. "I knew it. Had to be that loudmouth!"

Jiang Kui gave him a surprised look, then grinned silently. "That's hardly the attitude a subordinate ought to have!"

Yang Ge picked up a clump of mutton with his chopsticks and swished it through the boiling water. He transferred it to Jiang Kui's bowl, stirred it through the sauce, and gestured for him to eat. "Try it!"

Jiang Kui picked up his chopsticks, stuffed the mutton into his cavernous mouth, and chewed twice. He immediately raised a thumb. "Fresh! Mighty fresh!"

Yang Ge sat across from him and picked up his own bowl to mix his sauce. "You three brothers really put me through the wringer!"

Jiang Kui chuckled. "Haven't I come to apologize?"

Yang Ge said, "You're here because you want to know what message your two brothers left with me, aren't you?"

Jiang Kui said, "No wonder Thousand-Household Commander Shen keeps saying you're an unusually clever fellow!"

Yang Ge tasted the sauce on his chopsticks, then picked up the vinegar bottle and added a little more. "Your eld... Hero Lei asked me to tell you he understood. He said he'd wait for you at home, and that you should take care of yourself and come home alive!"

Jiang Kui fell silent for a moment. Then he grabbed the wine jar beside him, roughly slapped off its seal, and took a great swig. Breathing wine fumes, he said, "Tell me everything. Every detail!"

Yang Ge thought for a moment, then recounted the visit from Lei Heng and Liu Meng in as much detail as he could.

As he spoke, he didn't forget to cook mutton and scoop it into his bowl... after working for most of the day, he was truly hungry.

Jiang Kui listened closely, drinking without pause but never touching the chopsticks in front of him.

Only when Yang Ge finished did he suddenly give a strange laugh. "You were lucky!"

Yang Ge said, "You call that lucky?"

After swallowing another great mouthful of wine, Jiang Kui chuckled. "If you hadn't used the Wild Wind Leg that day, you'd have died on the spot!"

Yang Ge finally found his conscience and placed some mutton in Jiang Kui's bowl. "What do you mean?"

Jiang Kui still didn't touch his chopsticks. Reclining in his chair with his eyes closed, he murmured, "Fifth's got a fierce temper and a narrow heart. He really came to kill me. Eldest's more forgiving, but if Fifth wanted to kill someone, he wouldn't stop him. Seeing you use the Wild Wind Leg was what made them hold back..."

Yang Ge suppressed the urge to complain about this fellow's talent for saying nothing at length. He shook his head as he cooked more mutton. "I don't follow."

Jiang Kui lifted the wine jar for another deep swig, wiped the corner of his mouth, and said slowly, "Want to hear how us brothers fell out?"

Yang Ge said, "If you want to tell me, I'll listen!"

Jiang Kui gave a short chuckle, his gaze gradually growing vacant. After a long while, he shook his head. "Forget it. Don't feel like telling it anymore!"

Yang Ge had waited all that time with mutton held in his chopsticks, only to get that answer. He couldn't help protesting, "That's no fun. You pique my curiosity and then refuse to tell me. Aren't you just deliberately toying with me?"

Jiang Kui laughed soundlessly. Only after several more mouthfuls from the wine jar did he ask wearily, "You know something about the battle at Lu Mountain, right?"

"A little!"

Yang Ge added more mutton to his bowl. "Don't just drink. Have a few bites, at least!"

As he spoke, he broke the clay seal on the other jar, poured himself a bowl, and drained it in one gulp... yes, a little sweet, easier to swallow than distilled liquor, but stronger than beer.

Jiang Kui still left his chopsticks untouched and continued on his own. "In that rotten place beyond the frontier, lives are no better than wild grass. When Heaven's displeased, it takes lives. When the Tartars are displeased, they take lives. When the Border Army is displeased, they fucking take lives too..."

"Us brothers never meant to accomplish anything grand. We just wanted a good place where Heaven couldn't rule us and earth couldn't claim us, where we could gulp wine and gorge on meat, and slash any bastard we didn't like!"

"We fought the Tartars. Didn't they just rely on their quick sabers, cutting people down like grass?"

"Our blades were quicker. We cut them down like grass too!"

"We fought the imperial court too. A bunch of useless failures. Losing battles was bad enough, but they threw away even their shame!"

"Secretly paying tribute to the fucking Tartars? Fuck their grandmothers!"

"Thinking back, those days were fucking glorious..."

"Wake up, mount a fast horse, and ride out to hack people down!"

"Come home, fill up on wine and meat, then fall straight asleep!"

"Never think about a thing."

"Never fear anyone!"

"Even now, I can't understand why so many people wanted to follow scum like us, who couldn't even make sense of our own lives..."

"The Tartars bullied them, the Border Army bullied them-didn't we bully them too?"

"The Tartars robbed them, the Border Army robbed them-didn't we rob them too?"

"Why didn't they have any fight in them?"

"They even made us clothes, raised chickens and ducks for us, cooked and washed for us. Scared half to death, yet they insisted on grabbing rotten wooden sticks and coming with us to fight the Tartars to the death..."

"Didn't they take a look at what they were made of? We were the mighty Five Ghosts of Yan Yun. Did we need them protecting us?"

The more Jiang Kui spoke, the hoarser his voice grew, and the more his spirit shattered.

He stretched his wide mouth, struggling to force a smile, but looked like an evil ghost that devoured children.

These words had been bottled up in his heart for far, far too long.

Long enough to breed sickness, to breed demons!

"It was all their fault..."

"If not for them, we wouldn't have gone to seize the Tartars' grain and fodder!"

"If not for them, how could those Tartars have surrounded the five of us?"

"It was one thing for every fucking one of them to act stupid ordinarily, but how could they still act like fools when everything hung in the balance?"

"Didn't they see the Tartars had brought thirty thousand troops?"

"What the fuck were they throwing their lives away for?"

"You all went and died nice and clean..."

"Don't fucking drag us down with you!"

"Did we owe you in a past life?"

"Ten or twenty thousand people! Ten or twenty thousand!!!"

"Gone in a single night..."

"Eldest dragged me out through the encirclement. I lay backward across the horse, and all I could see were corpses covering the mountain, black smoke covering the mountain..."

"You won't believe me, but I saw the people who made my clothes, raised my chickens and ducks, washed and cooked for me, called me Second Chief, called me Second Grandfather, floating on that black smoke, crying and shouting for me to leave..."

"But where was I supposed to go?"

"We brought you back up the mountain, one by one!"

"If you weren't leaving, where was I supposed to go?"

"But how did I end up surviving?"

Jiang Kui hugged the wine jar and lay back in his chair, shouting hoarsely. His face was wet, and there was no telling whether it was wine or tears.

Yang Ge quietly kept him company, drinking with him mouthful by mouthful.

He didn't know why, but the wine that had tasted faintly sweet moments earlier now tasted bitter and astringent.

Drinking it left him struggling for breath, as though a huge stone pressed down on his chest.

After a long while, Jiang Kui wiped his face dry and sat up. With an ugly smile, he said softly, "Fifth blames me, hates me. I know. So many people died. Without someone to hate, he couldn't keep living either. Eldest stayed, and I left. I was the only one he could hate..."

"Eldest could surely have talked Fifth down, but I reckon he wanted to see me too, so he came along. Then he met you and figured there was no need to see me anymore..."

Without a word, Yang Ge raised his wine bowl and clinked it against Jiang Kui's jar.

Though Jiang Kui's account was fragmented and muddled,

he had still understood.

The Wild Wind Leg had been the fourth brother's signature skill, and the fourth brother had died in the battle at Lu Mountain.

When Lei Heng and Liu Meng saw Yang Ge use the Wild Wind Leg, they knew Jiang Kui had never let go of them...

Perhaps that was friendship between men. At first glance, it was clear as water, bland and tasteless.

Only when savored with the heart did its fierceness emerge...

Jiang Kui lifted his wine jar and drank with Yang Ge.

Yang Ge filled his bowl again. After a brief hesitation, he still asked quietly, "I still don't understand. Why did you pull out the incense and dissolve the brotherhood back then?"

He truly couldn't understand. Given the loyalty and affection Lei Heng had shown, there was no way he didn't want revenge.

If they all wanted revenge, why break up?

Jiang Kui raised his wine jar and clinked it against Yang Ge's bowl. "I just came to understand one thing."

Yang Ge asked, "What?"

Jiang Kui took a great swig and said lightly, "If you don't want to keep living that way, you have to find a different way to die."