Some Memories Never Let Go

Time passed swiftly, and in the blink of an eye, summer gave way to autumn. As the wild geese flew south, Fang Yizhi packed his belongings and prepared to return to the Luoyang Knowing-and-Doing Institute in the capital. With a joint recommendation from Fang Yizhi and the old teacher, He An and Fang Dazhi had qualified to take the institute's entrance test. Only after passing it could they become full-fledged students.

He An carried a small bundle containing a few simple changes of clothing and a little silver his uncle He Kui had left him. The moment he stepped over the threshold of Fan Dazhi's house, he saw Dazhi sitting on a stool, sobbing.

His father, Fan Youfu, was stuffing roast chicken, mutton, dried fish, and other food into his bundle, his own eyes reddening as he said, "You're grown up now, and you get to study in Luoyang, the capital. How many people dream of that without ever getting the chance? Your father can't bear to see you leave either, but I know I mustn't hold you back. Once you get there, have someone send word home. I've packed money for you, so buy whatever you want to eat. You... you've never traveled far from home before. Back then, I carried you on my back and brought your mother along, and didn't we make it here from a thousand miles away?"

Fan Youfu was still rambling when he saw He An enter and broke into a broad smile. "Xiao An, you're here! Look at this boy Dazhi, crying already. Ah! He's far too honest. Ever since he was little, he's been timid and quiet. Once you're in the Capital City, do look after him. If he were even half like you, I'd have so much less to worry about."

He An chuckled inwardly. This fellow, honest and quiet? You have no idea how lively he gets when we're together! Out loud, however, he readily agreed.

Fan Dazhi stopped crying, shouldered his bulging bundle, and left with He An. The two then went to the tailor's shop where Miao Feifei lived. Her mother, Miao Liu-shi, busied herself fetching tea and snacks for them. Miao Feifei took a brand-new, straight-cut, round-collared robe from a cupboard and tucked it into He An's bundle. Suddenly, she remembered that the two friends who went to school with her every day, then walked home with her and played after class, were about to leave on a long journey. They would be far apart, and seeing each other would be difficult. Left alone, she would inevitably be lonely. She covered her little face with both hands and began to sob, her shoulders shaking.

He An and Fan Dazhi felt their hearts sink as well. Seeing Miao Feifei crying so bitterly, Fan Dazhi became flustered, at a loss as to how to comfort her. All he could do was promise again and again that when he came back someday, he would bring her plenty of delicious treats and fun things from the Capital City.

Seeing that Miao Feifei would not stop crying, He An said, "Feifei, you made this robe for me, didn't you? The stitches are so fine and close. Your needlework has improved again."

Miao Feifei still had her face buried in her hands. Between sobs, she said, "My mother made it for you. She said you needed a nice outfit to go to the Capital City. I sewed one sleeve, but I made it a little too narrow. You mustn't be angry."

He An smiled. "I can't thank you enough. How could I be angry? But you know, a poem suddenly came to mind!"

Miao Feifei raised her face, like a pear blossom drenched in rain, and asked in surprise, "What poem?"

He An slowly recited, "Thread in a loving mother's hand, clothes upon her wandering son. Before he leaves, she stitches close, fearing his return will be slow! Mm, this poem really does suit the occasion."

Their teacher had taught them this "Song of the Wandering Son" at school. After a moment's thought, Miao Feifei said, "Then doesn't that make me your mother?" She could not help laughing through her tears. Fan Dazhi began teasing them, and the three were soon laughing and fooling around together...

Miao Feifei had finished her studies at the village school and now helped her mother with cutting and sewing at home each day. All three were young at heart; their sadness came quickly and left just as quickly. Her smile blooming like a flower, Miao Feifei joined her mother in seeing He An and Fang Dazhi to the village entrance. Yet as she watched Fang Yizhi lead the two farther and farther away through the dusk, a hollow sense of loss rose in her heart again...

Fang Yizhi had already hired a mule cart to take He An and Fan Dazhi along. As they jolted over the rough road to the cart's creaking, he painted a picture of the Capital City's prosperity for them. He spoke of the Knowledge and Practice Institute's origins and history, and anecdotes about its head, Li Xingzhi. He also warned them that in Luoyang, the imperial capital, dazzling blossoms clouded the eyes and the soft red dust of worldly splendor rose ten fathoms high. Though they were outstanding, the world was vast, and youths of extraordinary gifts and breathtaking talent were beyond counting. They must never grow arrogant or impatient, but devote themselves to learning and not lose their way amid the glittering world...

He spoke at an unhurried pace, and the two boys listened attentively. Before they knew it, they had reached an inn in town, and night had fallen...

In the tailor's shop in Watermill Head Village, Miao Liu-shi was mending clothes by lamplight. Miao Feifei's mother was a little over forty, with plain clothing, a hairpin, and regular features. Apart from her hands, which had grown somewhat rough from years of work, she looked like a woman barely into her thirties.

She was gentle by nature and seldom spoke much. Miao Feifei's father had died early, and raising her daughter alone all these years through her embroidery and tailoring had been no easy task. She glanced at her daughter sleeping soundly on the bed, rubbed the needle against her hair, and resumed her practiced stitching. Unbidden, her thoughts drifted back to that day...

That day, she had been washing clothes beside the river when she saw water churning not far away. A man was struggling on the verge of death, still holding a baby above the water against his chest. The child looked only a few months old, his little lips purple from the cold...

Later, after considerable difficulty, she had brought the man home. His high fever would not break, and there was a great deal of blood on his leg. She fetched medicine from the physician in town and traded millet for goat's milk from Second Master Hu's household to feed the child. Perhaps his time had not yet come, for the baby actually survived. The man lay on the heated brick bed, delirious, occasionally muttering, "Don't kill her... don't kill her..." Hearing it frightened her a little...

Later still, the man's fever subsided, but he remained unconscious on the heated bed. His eyes were tightly closed, his nose straight, and the corners of his mouth turned upward. A blade wound on his face had already scabbed over, and his sturdy chest rose and fell. Actually... he was rather handsome...

"Oh..." Miao Liu-shi gave a soft cry. Somehow, the needle gleaming beneath the lamp had pricked her hand. A bead of blood welled from the pad of her left index finger, and she frowned as she put it into her mouth...

Still later, the man woke. He was deeply grateful to her. He said his name was He Kui and that the baby was his nephew, He An. They had encountered robbers in the mountains...

And after that... it seemed... there was no after that. The man settled in the village, limping on one leg and raising the child alone. He tended horses for others, fitted horseshoes, and did odd jobs. Sometimes he came to help repair her leaking roof... She often brought them food, and whenever she made clothes for Feifei each year, she made a couple of outfits for the child called He An as well. But... that man, a man as quiet and reserved as she was, seemed to grow more and more distant...

Now that heartless man had left. He had simply put down a few taels of silver, entrusted He An to her care, and gone without a word. With one lame leg, where could he possibly go? He An and that boy Dazhi had left too. Such good children-like Feifei, both had grown up before her eyes. Boys had to make something of themselves. Feifei no longer attended school; a girl would have to marry someday, after all...

Lost in thought, Miao Liu-shi suddenly heard a faint rustling in the next room. There seem to be mice again lately. I'll have to buy some more rat poison when I go to town tomorrow.

Suddenly, the lamplight flickered and a gust of wind stirred. Miao Liu-shi turned and saw a black-clad figure who had somehow slipped inside without a sound. Just as she was about to cry out, the intruder raised a hand, and her vision went black...

She did not know how much time had passed before Miao Liu-shi opened her eyes in a daze. The space around her was empty and dim; it seemed to be a cave. Loose stones beneath her body and grass stalks under her cheek made her uncomfortable. She shifted, only to discover that her hands were bound with rope. Her daughter Miao Feifei lay beside her, curled up with her eyes tightly shut.

Miao Liu-shi struggled upright in terror. Only then did she notice a torch set into the nearby rock wall and two black-clad figures guarding the cave entrance with blades in hand.

"Who are you? Let us out!" Miao Liu-shi shouted, but neither guard paid her any attention. She bent down and urgently called to her daughter, yet Miao Feifei did not respond at all. Anxiously, Miao Liu-shi brought her hands close to the girl's nose and lips. Only when she found her breathing faint but steady did she feel a little reassured...

Before long, several more black-clad figures entered. Two hauled Miao Liu-shi up, while another lifted the still-sleeping Miao Feifei like an eagle snatching a chick, and they headed outside. Miao Liu-shi struggled and shouted in vain as they dragged and tugged her out of the cave.

Outside, broad daylight shone through dense leaves. Jagged rocks and shrubs lay everywhere; this was a hollow in the mountains. The black-clad group took Miao Liu-shi and Miao Feifei through the brush to an open clearing.

Ahead stood a high platform built of earth, hung with drapes and bearing two strange banners. Incense smoke curled from a burner, and a figure sat in a folding chair at its center. That figure, too, was dressed entirely in black, with a black bamboo hat and a black veil hanging from its brim to conceal his face. Amid the swirling smoke, his entire body seemed hidden in darkness, inspiring fear at a glance.

The black-clad figure at the front bowed toward the platform. "My lord, we have brought them!"

On the platform, the man who seemed concealed within the darkness spoke. His voice was hoarse, like metal scraping against metal. "Tell me, where did that man go? The lame man."

Miao Liu-shi's heart trembled. Villains! Didn't he jump into the river to escape after encountering villains in the mountains all those years ago? He left... because he feared these enemies would come seeking revenge. Yes... he must have been afraid of dragging me into it. That must be it... he has never lied to me! At that thought, emotion surged through her.

"Speak!" the black-clad man on the platform roared, his voice piercing.

I mustn't speak... I mustn't reveal anything about him. That would put him in danger. He already has a lame leg... he mustn't lose his life because of me! Miao Liu-shi gritted her teeth. Although the scene before her filled her with terror, once she thought of that man, she could no longer care about anything else.

With a crack, a black-clad figure stepped forward and smashed a heavy scabbard into Miao Liu-shi's shoulder. There was even a faint sound of bone breaking. She staggered and nearly fell, her features twisting from the savage pain.

"I'll ask you one last time. Where did he go? Speak!" The black-clad man on the platform had exhausted his patience and roared again in his hoarse voice.

"I-don't-know!" Bent forward, Miao Liu-shi gritted her teeth and glared hatefully at the black-clad man on the platform. She wanted to rush at him and tear into him with her teeth, but she had no strength. Her shoulder hurt terribly; even breathing was painful.

Miao Feifei slowly came to and opened her eyes, staring in confusion at everything before her. Once she understood what was happening, she began crying loudly, struggled free of the black-clad figure holding her, and lunged toward Miao Liu-shi. "Mother...!"

The black-clad man wearing the bamboo hat rose from his seat. He extended a hand toward Miao Liu-shi from afar and curled his five fingers in a grasping motion. Her body shook violently, twitching with the movements of his fingers. As though pulled by invisible threads, her limbs jerked and convulsed unnaturally, like a puppet worked by strings. Tiny beads of blood appeared on her face and limbs, and soon blood seeped from her entire body.

The black-clad man slowly clenched his fist. Miao Liu-shi curled up like a shrimp, the bones throughout her body cracking sharply as cries of anguish escaped her mouth. His fist suddenly opened. With a burst, her entire body became a cloud of bloody mist. Blood sprayed across the grass, staining it crimson, while droplets drifted among the mountain rocks and shrubs, speckling them...

"Mother!" Miao Feifei's eyes widened in horror, their once-clear black and white flooded with blood-red. The cruel sight before her struck deep into her mind. Suddenly, the black-clad figure behind her delivered a chopping blow with a hand, knocking her unconscious.

"Don't kill her. Feed her a Soul-Scattering Pill to erase her memories, then send her to the Assassin Camp. She will still be useful someday!" The hoarse voice of the black-clad man on the platform rang out once more, as though rising from the deepest pits of hell.