Bang!
Another door slammed shut.
Josen turned around. It was Saitama.
His expression was thirty percent calm, thirty percent helpless, thirty percent awkward, and ten percent bewildered. It was quite a complicated mix.
"So, who was that old lady?"
"That old hag? She's the landlady." Saitama sat down across from Josen and took a sip of tea. "I'm three months behind on rent, so she told me to move out before tomorrow."
...Before tomorrow?
Good grief. You might as well say she told you to get the hell out right now.
"Uh, but didn't you help her deal with all those problem tenants? Why won't she give you even a little extra time?"
"That's exactly why. The police arrested all her tenants, so nobody's paying rent anymore. That's why the old hag told me to get lost."
"..."
Josen's Apartment.
Sluuurp-×2
Saitama hadn't had dinner yet, and helping him pack had left Josen hungry too, so the first thing they did after getting home was cook.
For something quick and easy, the obvious choice was Josen's special instant noodles with extra toppings.
And so, there were now two people slurping noodles on the balcony.
"Good thing I had you, Josen. I'd never have found somewhere to stay today otherwise. You really saved me." Saitama chewed on a large chunk of boiled beef. "But don't worry, I'll move out as soon as I can. Sorry for the trouble."
A "Limiter Fragments" card formed as a strand of hair fell from the back of Saitama's head. Josen deftly snatched it up. "It's fine. My guest room's always empty anyway. You're welcome to stay as long as you like."
Sensing a breeze behind his head, Saitama turned around but saw nothing. He was puzzled, but didn't dwell on it, turning back to focus on his noodles.
The next day.
Josen stopped by the Police Station, showed his face in front of his superiors, finished a few reports that had piled up, then hopped on his scooter and headed out on patrol.
I might have special privileges, but I can't keep skipping work.
After dutifully putting in a full day's work, Josen returned to the foot of his apartment building and saw Saitama coming down the stairs with a large box in each hand.
"Huh? What's going on, Saitama? Found a place already?"
"Yeah." Saitama stacked the cardboard boxes on an old handcart he'd found somewhere and wiped away his sweat. "The owner of the Clothing Store said a part of Z City turned into an Abandoned Zone at some point, but the basic water and electricity are still on. I thought I'd go take a look and see if there's an empty place I can stay in for now."
It dawned on Josen that Saitama had moved into his bachelor apartment in the Abandoned Zone this early.
"Oh, that works too. Let me help."
"Sorry for the trouble."
Working together, they quickly packed up Saitama's few belongings and piled everything onto the handcart.
Saitama was about to say he could go the rest of the way alone when Josen reached toward the loaded handcart. A faint blue gleam flashed, and the cart vanished in an instant, like a drawing rubbed out with an eraser.
Saitama: "..."
[Fantasy Card: Scrap handcart] [Card type: Item card] [Rarity: N] [Description: A handcart loaded with junk. Look closely, and quite a few things are still usable.] [Effect 1: Mobile lodging] [Wherever you push it, that's home.] [Effect 2: Scrap recycling] [Sell it to a scrap recycling center, and you might earn something.]
Josen: "..."
The moment the card was created, both men struggled to keep a straight face.
Saitama: Psychic Powers really are convenient!
Josen: I'm really lucky to have a reliable job!
"Let's go back up and check. Did you forget anything?"
"I can't really remember, but since you mentioned it, Josen, let's check again!"
They went upstairs. Saitama checked the guest room and came out holding a bundle of red and yellow clothes, with a wad of white fabric tucked in the middle.
The more Josen looked at it, the more familiar it seemed. "What's that?"
"The Clothing Store owner knew I was working toward becoming a Hero, so he gave me this Hero uniform before closing up shop. The material's pretty sturdy." Saitama unfolded the uniform with a sheepish smile. "Good thing you reminded me, Josen. Otherwise, I really would've forgotten it."
A yellow bodysuit, red rubber gloves, boots, and a white cape that attached at the shoulders.
As Josen looked at the comical outfit, Saitama holding it up in front of himself gradually began to overlap with the image of Caped Baldy.
Now that's more like it!
"It's fine. Even if you'd forgotten it, you could've just picked it up next time."
"Josen, you're a really good guy."
"Enough with the good-guy cards. We should get going before it gets dark!"
"Oh, okay! But what's a good-guy card?"
Rows of streetlights came on along the deserted streets.
Putt-putt-putt-putt-putt...
A scooter in police colors sped down the road with two men aboard. The wind howled, occasionally tearing two or three hairs from the head of the man in the back. The man in front remained composed, clear azure flames burning in his eyes as invisible psychic power precisely caught each card no one else could see and tucked it away.
[Fantasy Card: Limiter Fragments] ×15
The number of "Limiter Fragments" he'd collected this time had long since passed ten, but his Stand still hadn't given him the "fusion available" notification.
Josen understood. Opportunities to break through his limits really weren't so easy to come by. At this rate, future fusions would only require more and more Limiter Fragments.
Then let's have Sichuan hot pot again tonight!
Screeech-
The brakes screeched. Momentum pitched Saitama forward, and his windblown hair fell over his eyes.
"This is..."
He pushed the hair out of his eyes to find a gray-and-white residential building towering before him. The balconies on one side were built from red brick. It looked a little run-down, but its rooftop antennas, solar panels, and other facilities were all intact, making it one of the best-preserved buildings in the area.
"Anyone here?"
Josen cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted at the top of his lungs. The entire street was deserted, and only his echo answered.
"Great, nobody's here. Let's go with this one."
Saitama: "..."
That's a pretty novel way to check, but I have to admit, it works.
Just like everything they'd seen along the way, this residential building had been abandoned.
Saitama entered the stairwell and tried the light. "Ah, the power really is on. Let's stay here, then!"
"Hold it!"
Saitama froze and turned to Josen.
Josen shook his head. "I didn't say anything."
"I'm the one telling you two human idiots to hold it!"
Just then, a nearby streetlight suddenly came alive. It ripped its "body" out of the pavement, trailing a mass of wires, and flailed wildly as it roared in fury, "This is my turf! Who said you could move in without my permission?!"
Before you continue