Operation: Playing Hooky

Josen lay comfortably on the sofa, watching his Stand work, when he suddenly exclaimed as though he had discovered a whole new world.

"Having a nanny at home really would make life a lot easier!"

At some point, a handsome, pale-purple face had appeared in the void, its gaze cutting toward him like a blade.

"Uh..."

Sensing F's death stare, Josen blushed-a rare occurrence for someone so shameless.

Only then did he remember that the current version had patched the bug that previously prevented his Stand from hitting people.

Better not get too cocky!

He gave a couple of awkward chuckles and reined in his ugly capitalist attitude a little.

"Ahem, ahem!"

"Don't get the wrong idea. What I meant was that B-rank precision really is better suited to things like housework."

Already foreseeing a future of exploitation, F narrowed his eyes, giving him a contemptuous look that said, "You rotten old bastard. Like hell I'd believe you," before sinking into the void and disappearing.

Josen even spontaneously awakened X-ray vision, catching sight of the International Friendly Gesture F flashed at him from the void before leaving.

Man, so this is the joy of being a capitalist?

Flopping back onto the sofa with his hands behind his head, he curled his lips into a smile, then rejected his earlier, immature notion.

No, you can't even imagine how much fun capitalists have!

After leaving the Apartment, Josen walked along the streets of Z City and made two calls in succession.

The first was to the station, where Kyoko picked up.

"Special Affairs Section. How can I help you?"

"Oh, Kyoko. You're at the station already? This early?"

"...It's already eight forty, Chief. Isn't this supposed to be normal working hours?"

Recognizing Josen's voice, Kyoko instantly lost all the enthusiasm she had started with.

A dull thunk came over the line, too, as though her chin had dropped straight onto her desk.

"Ha, is that so?" Josen laughed, trying to conceal the fact that he no longer remembered what normal working hours were. "Anyway, I have a few things to take care of today, so I won't be coming in."

"..." Kyoko fell silent for two seconds before letting out a furious, helpless roar. "With your current psychic powers, Chief, coming in to report for work would take no effort whatsoever, wouldn't it? So someone is obviously just trying to play hooky!"

Josen instinctively held the phone away from his ear. Only once the spirited-and powerfully lunged-roaring on the other end paused did he bring it back and continue. "Good grief, don't get hung up on little details like that. My dear subordinates, keep up the good work today!"

"Then would our inconsiderate chief please stop calling all the time, tying up a valuable phone line and interfering with the Special Affairs Section's work! Over!"

Beep, beep, beep...

Listening to the busy tone, Josen blinked. His deputy chief had managed to deliver such a long, punctuation-free speech in a single breath. An enhanced human's lung capacity really was impressive.

That character card was definitely worth using!

Next, he called Lanny, his official contact at the Hero Association.

"Miss Lanny, this is Josen. Sorry for the trouble, but I need your help with something."

Lanny was in a meeting when Josen called early that morning. She gestured for her team to wait where they were, then quickly went into the office next door and replied solemnly, "Please go ahead, Mr. Josen. If it's within my power, I'll do everything I can to help!"

"Here's the thing..."

Josen explained his idea. Lanny tapped lightly on the desk with her fingertips as she considered it. "You want a communication device that can receive information from the Association at any time? Yes, equipping some of our more powerful heroes with dedicated communicators like that would greatly improve our efficiency in dealing with monsters... All right, I'll forward your suggestion to Headquarters. For now, we can provide you with an internal Wireless Walkie-Talkie. Once it's tuned to the designated channel, news of any monster disaster can reach you immediately, wherever it happens."

"Sure, that'll do."

"All right. How would you like us to deliver it?"

"No need. I'll come pick it up myself," Josen said over the phone. "Are you at the branch right now? Which office?"

Lanny answered reflexively, "2801. I'm in my own office."

"Then could you open the door? Sorry for the trouble."

Lanny: ?

"Uh... right now?"

While the blonde executive was still puzzling over his request, a crisp knock came from outside her office.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Come in."

"Sorry to drop in unannounced, Miss Lanny. It really has been a while."

Seeing the tall figure walk through the door, Lanny was so stunned that her pupils trembled. The Rugged Phone, still connected to the call, slipped from her hand and was about to hit the floor.

A large hand appeared out of thin air, caught the falling phone, and set it back on her desk. It also casually pressed the end-call button, hanging up the now-unnecessary call.

Half an hour later.

Only after Lanny had roped him into updating his ability data was Josen finally allowed to leave the Association building, now carrying a Handheld Walkie-Talkie custom-made by the Hero Association.

The police station used similar equipment, so Josen was familiar with it.

He tuned it to the channel Lanny had provided and put on the matching Wireless Earpiece. After a brief crackle of static, a staff member's report came through.

"...We've detected a photo of a suspected Wolf-Type Monster taken on a D City resident's phone. An agent has already been dispatched to confirm! The exact location is..."

"The B-class wanted criminal Blast Man Angelo has been sighted in C City. Requesting authorization to dispatch a hero from the B-class sequence or above to investigate. Over!"

"..."

In an instant, reports about disasters and criminals began pouring through the earpiece, and a satisfied look appeared on Josen's face.

With intelligence-gathering capabilities like these, combined with a disaster-response capacity that kept growing alongside its expanding roster of heroes, it was hardly surprising that the police couldn't compete with the Hero Association.

Then I'll start with D City, since it's closest!

At the Hero Association's Z City branch, Lanny had obtained access to the surveillance feeds and watched Josen vanish beneath the camera at the entrance. Her beautiful eyes shone as a certain idea grew steadily firmer in her mind.

For that project Headquarters is preparing, I absolutely have to recommend Mr. Josen-the number-one psychic hero in my eyes!

Compared with Blast, who doesn't care about being a hero at all, Z City's Super Police is far more deserving of the throne at the top!

Having made her decision, Lanny pulled out her chair with a swish, her poised, valiant bearing making it seem as though she were stepping onto her own battlefield.

On her office computer, she opened a Word document titled "Special Project Proposal for the Addition of an S-Class Sequence." Her hands flew over the keyboard, and a battle belonging to the Association's administrative staff began.