Stand upgrade

As everyone knew, humans had limits.

But in the face of this N-rank card, those so-called limits were a steaming pile of crap!

Saitama, I'm making you my friend, no matter what!

"Achoo!"

On his way home, Saitama rubbed his nose hard. "Weird, it's not even cold out. Why do I suddenly feel like I'm coming down with something... Whatever, I'd better get home!"

Josen's home.

The Fantasy Card conveyed its longing once again. Josen pursed his lips, well aware of how tempting the "Limiter Breakthrough ACT1" in his hand was to his Stand.

No kidding. I want to use it myself, okay!

"You want it? Goku, if you want it, just say so. How am I supposed to know you want it if you don't say anything?

Even though you're looking at me so earnestly, you still have to tell me you want it.

Do you really want it?

If you want it, I'll give it to you. How could I possibly refuse if you want it?

It's not like I'd refuse when you wanted it, then insist on giving it to you when you didn't.

Let's be reasonable here!

Now I'll count to three, and you have to tell me clearly whether you want it...

Do you really want it? Then take it! You don't really want it, do you?"

Fantasy Card: ...

Considering that all his strength ultimately came from his Stand, Josen stopped messing around and handed over this chance to break through its limits.

Saitama was in Z City anyway. At worst, he'd just have to treat him to a few more hot pot meals.

With permission from its user, the Fantasy Card manifested and eagerly "ate" the special N-rank card in Josen's hand, adding it to its deck.

In an instant, azure flames blazed. Josen watched an oval ring of white light surround his Stand, seemingly turning from illusion into solid matter, until all that remained was a...

Egg.

Dumbstruck.JPG

"Holy shit!"

After that sweet little expletive, Josen immediately activated his ability.

A dazzling mass of lightning appeared in his hand, forming a Chidori Shuriken wreathed in electricity.

Thankfully, the abilities he'd already loaded were still there.

Josen breathed a sigh of relief.

Clearly, after swallowing that miracle tonic, the Fantasy Card had entered a state of metamorphosis. The thing had gulped it down so quickly that he had no idea how long the transformation would take.

With a thought, Josen opened his hand toward the teacup in front of him, which he'd just filled with hot tea, and activated his Stand Ability.

Two thousand years later...

After a casting time nearly ten seconds longer than his usual card creation, a brand-new N-rank card emerged.

[Fantasy Card: Celadon Teacup]

[Card type: Item card]

[Rarity: N]

[Description: An ordinary teacup purchased at a convenience store, filled with freshly brewed tea.]

[Effect 1: Drink more hot water]

[Helps maintain body temperature and improve circulation. Also helps ease constipation and relieve menstrual cramps.]

After glancing at the card's ridiculous effect, Josen released the teacup, picked it up, and began drinking.

Releasing cards didn't have a ten-second delay, which meant his Finishing move: Eat my Road Roller still worked normally.

Then it wasn't much of a problem.

This was where the advantages of focusing on strengthening his own body showed. Temporarily losing the ability to create cards quickly in combat barely affected Josen's overall fighting strength.

The next morning.

"Hey, Josen, I heard you got promoted. Aren't you going to treat us?"

"Nothing of the sort! How can you slander an innocent man like that?"

"Still denying it? Kyoko already told us!"

"You're always running to the chief's office, and you still say nothing's going on!"

By the time Josen left the Police Station, he'd obtained a specially approved leave slip signed by Chief Xiong.

From then on, aside from essential duties, he could carry out Hero activities during working hours without requesting additional permission.

Of course, the price was another couple of glares from the chief.

After going home and changing into casual clothes, Josen hopped onto his scooter and sped all the way to the Hero Association's Z City branch.

With its imposing entrance, burly greeters, and grounds rivaling a stadium in size, the Hero Association's premises made one thing immediately clear: they had money.

Although it was still early, a long line had already formed outside the entrance.

Having watched the news, Josen knew this was the line for Hero recruitment registration.

It wasn't that everyone had a heroic heart. The main reason was that the Hero Association paid far too well.

Of course, becoming a Hero wasn't that easy. The vast majority of those present would be eliminated during testing.

Take Mumen Rider, the future top-ranked Class C Hero, for example. His record might look pathetic, with defeat after defeat, but he could actually handle some Wolf-level and even Tiger-level monster disasters on his own, and had even survived a casual punch from the rampaging Deep Sea King.

That was probably about the upper limit for an ordinary human.

But enough of that.

As an invited guest, Josen naturally didn't have to wait in the long line outside. He went straight through the express entrance on the other side and entered the Hero Association's Z City branch.

As he entered the lobby, a staff member in a black suit promptly approached him, brisk and efficient. "Hello. Do you have an appointment?"

Before Josen could answer, a blonde woman with long, wavy hair and a tight, hip-hugging business skirt hurried over in small steps, stopping her colleague from asking anything further. "Qi Shi, I'll be receiving this gentleman."

"Ah, yes, Team Leader Lanny."

From Josen's perspective, an enticing expanse of fair skin turned toward him with a smile. "You must be Officer Josen?"

"That's right."

The wavy-haired blonde wore a pair of burgundy women's glasses, her smile radiant. "Welcome to the Hero Association. At the request of Chief Bachi of the Hero Recruitment Department, I'll be handling your entire schedule today. You can call me Lanny."

Feeling an ample wave of warmth coming straight at him, Josen nodded without changing his expression. "Sorry for the trouble, then."

"Please follow me."

The Hero Testing Venue.

According to Lanny, Josen would undergo testing alongside the other applicants.

The difference was that their assessments would determine their futures, while his was merely a formality.

Of course, that was only because Josen's combat record could be verified. Not just anyone got to go through the motions.

By the time they reached the assessment area, the venue was already packed.

With a staff member guiding him, Josen naturally became the center of attention. The other candidates were soon dazzled by the enormous evil on display, so no clichéd confrontation broke out.

"Damn it, why does that guy get a beautiful woman all to himself!"

"Exactly! I want one too! Me too!"

"What gives? Just because that bastard's a teeny billion times better-looking than me?"

"..."

Complaints like those, along with slurping and swallowing noises, rang out nonstop.

Long accustomed to being the center of attention wherever she went, Lanny smiled sweetly at Josen. "Officer Josen, this is the men's Changing Room, so I shouldn't go inside. I'll wait for you at the first testing station."

"No problem. Thanks for your help."

Josen nodded and watched Lanny's swaying figure disappear into the distance.

At the same time, he received a heap of positive feedback from his fellow men.

"You bastard!"

"You animal!"