Fear

"So, you didn't call just to talk about something this pointless, did you?"

"No, it's about Zero... Lelouch."

He used the publicly known "code name" before the name, not because their long separation had made the name unfamiliar, but because an enemy's "code name" suited his present state of mind better than a family member's name.

Ask had already resolved not to let family ties stand in his way.

Yet the humanity that remained in his heart inevitably made him want to leave one last measure of mercy for himself and for them.

Though his tone concealed some of his feelings, C.C had spent years closer to Ask than anyone else. The sound of his voice over the phone alone was enough for her to guess what he was thinking.

"Are you still struggling?"

"No. I made up my mind long ago. If necessary, I can discard them after using them..."

The resolve in his words was beyond doubt, yet he paused at the end.

"Of course, if it isn't necessary, I'd rather fulfill my duties as their older brother."

"..."

His teasing tone made it impossible to tell whether he was concealing his true feelings or simply being himself.

The false mask rested on his face as though it belonged there. Even as he mocked Schneizel, he mocked himself for doing the very same thing.

The only certainty was that, whether or not Ask still felt any "familial affection" for Lelouch and Nunnally, the decision he had made eight years ago would not be shaken by anyone or anything.

Still, his tone left C.C feeling lonely, with a trace of worry as well.

"If you wear a mask too long, you'll lose track of what's real and what's false. Wouldn't it be better to be honest with the people close to you and give yourself a proper rest?"

"Are you jealous of Leila and Monica because we haven't seen each other in a while? No, that's not right. Envious would be more accurate."

"..."

C.C did not answer.

For a witch who had lived for centuries, hiding her feelings had become a way of life. Even after Ask had "brutally" pried open her heart, being honest did not come easily.

Especially since his past training had pushed the limits of her shame further and further.

Still, she had become much more candid than before.

"What did you want me to do?"

Perhaps because it would bring back "unpleasant memories," C.C took the initiative to change the subject and return to the matter at hand.

Besides, she did not know when Lelouch would return. It was best to end the call quickly and avoid leaving any clues.

On the other end of the line, Ask likewise dropped his playful expression.

"Lelouch needs to move faster."

"Faster? His organization should still be in its early stages. Rushing things could ruin everything..."

"The emperor has entered EU territory."

The moment Ask uttered those few words, the puzzled C.C understood how he felt.

During the first year after Ask captured her, she had told him everything about her plan with the emperor.

Whether it was because she had developed feelings for him or because she could no longer endure his "inhumane" training, she had already begun thinking of "withdrawing from the plan" back then.

For eight years, she had been confined to Ask's bedchamber on the EU front, forbidden from setting foot outside the room no matter what happened.

During the first year, he had even chained her inside a hidden compartment in the room whenever he went to command a battle.

It was nothing like the treatment of a "young girl." It was more like the imprisonment of a "convict" guilty of heinous crimes.

Only after Ask had taken everything in her heart did she gain the freedom of "unbound hands and feet." It was also then that she became certain of her feelings and accepted the change within her.

But she was not the only one whose heart had changed. Ask's had, too.

At some point, C.C had grown accustomed to watching the changes in the boy's expression, listening to his heartbeat, and feeling the warmth of his skin to guess what he felt inside.

The boy who had every resource at his disposal, who was certain he could control everything and had never contemplated anything but victory, had wavered when he heard the full details of her plan with the emperor.

Even if it had lasted only an instant, she had felt it clearly through Ask's palm as it rested against her cheek.

That trembling had come from fear. Not fear of the emperor, but fear of failure.

In the EU, he had hurried to accelerate his own progress while pouring his negative emotions into the pleasure of toying with his enemies. It all seemed like an attempt to conceal that fear-or rather, as though that fear had spurred something within him.

At only twelve years old, the boy had borne the fate of an entire faction on his shoulders. Few had noticed that pressure.

All most people saw was the dazzling halo placed upon Ask.

Even Monica knew nothing of that fear. Only C.C knew.

Perhaps it was then that C.C had found herself thinking, I want to help him, a thought even she could hardly believe.

That was also why she had agreed to Ask's request to go to the Island Nation and guide Lelouch.

Just as now, the simple words "the emperor has entered EU territory" revealed the boy's impatience, and C.C's voice softened despite herself.

"Are you afraid? Because your trump card is in the EU?"

"Afraid... Yes, I am."

It was a rare admission of weakness, a side of himself he showed only to a select few close to him.

He removed his mask, spoke freely of his worries and fears, and revealed the other side of a Britannian prince: the "human" beneath.

Only three people had been granted that honor, and C.C was one of them.

"But I'm not afraid of my trump card being exposed. I'm afraid of his plan... of how far it's already progressed."

"..."

C.C instinctively parted her crimson lips, wanting to offer an answer that would resolve his doubts. But faced with a question even she could not answer, she could only slowly close them again.

"I can't get intelligence on the emperor, especially the most crucial information about his plan. If I can't learn how far his plan has progressed, all I can do is bring my own plans forward as much as possible."

"I understand. Right now, Lelouch's organization is still a loose collection of people, no different from those resistance groups. What do you intend to do? It'll need to grow to a respectable size before it can be of any help to you."

That impatience seemed unavoidable.

Giving him her wholehearted support was the greatest help C.C could offer.

"Euphemia has been taken hostage. This is an excellent opportunity."

"By that Island Nation Resistance Front they mentioned on the news...? Lelouch should already be there."

"I thought so too. He wouldn't pass up an opportunity this good."

The moment his call to C.C connected, it had told him that Lelouch was not in the room.

At this hour of the night, there were few places he could go, or had a reason to go.

That was precisely why Ask could speak so freely with C.C. But what he wanted to discuss was no such "trivial matter."

"C.C, I need you to do two things."