Cooking lessons for the house-elves

Zhang Xiao looked at the house-elves sobbing before him and asked cautiously:

"You..."

Before he could finish, the house-elf leading the group had thrown himself onto the floor and begun pounding it:

"Negligence! Terrible negligence! Yunbo always thought he was taking good care of the young masters and misses!"

The other house-elves reacted much the same way. As though they had made some enormous mistake, they sank into overwhelming self-reproach.

They had always believed the students loved their cooking, and that was indeed the case. Even Malfoy considered Hogwarts' start-of-term feast a sumptuous spread.

Now Zhang Xiao was beginning to understand why their reaction was so exaggerated. These house-elves treated caring for the students as their sole purpose in life.

And providing food was the most important part of that work. As Rowling had put it, "They served humans as reverently as they would a king."

Yunbo hurried over to Zhang Xiao, bowed deeply, and said between sniffles:

"Honored sir, is there anything we can do to make up for our failings? Perhaps you could give us recipes from your homeland."

Recipes? Zhang Xiao paused. His original plan had been to ask the house-elves whether he could borrow their kitchen and cook himself one meal a day.

With magic, almost all the inconvenient aspects of Chinese cooking ceased to be a problem.

Things like washing and chopping ingredients beforehand, cooking fumes, washing dishes afterward, and dealing with food scraps.

With those problems eliminated, cooking was not much of a hassle. Apart from dishes that needed stewing or slow simmering, most "Mom's home cooking" dishes generally took only a few minutes each.

But now it seemed the house-elves had plans of their own.

"Yes, honored sir!" The house-elf looked at Zhang Xiao with his tennis-ball-sized eyes and said in a soft, high voice:

"With recipes, we can make the dishes you enjoy and send them to your table in the Great Hall at mealtimes. Then you won't have to worry about the taste of your food anymore!"

Wow... were they really this... considerate? Was this what house-elves were like? Did all their thinking revolve around how to provide better service?

Still, he had to admit it was a pretty good idea, if he overlooked the extra work for the house-elves.

Zhang Xiao could not help laughing. Why be so precious about it? Wasn't that just getting a bargain and then pretending otherwise? He would have plenty of opportunities to help the house-elves later. Freeing them would be difficult, but improving their living conditions should be manageable.

He pulled a large iron wok, pots, bowls, and utensils out of his bag, along with a pile of seasonings, then took out the vegetables.

The house-elves gathered around. They were keenly interested in any skill that could improve their ability to serve.

"Now, I'll start with a simple dish. Its name is..."

Zhang Xiao paused, unsure how to translate stir-fried tomatoes and eggs. In the end, he settled for the rather literal "Tomatoes and Eggs."

"Honored sir, is there anything we can do?" Yunbo asked.

"If you could, please wash the tomatoes and cut them into chunks, and beat the eggs. That's all."

The house-elf snapped his fingers with a pop. All the tomatoes floated into the air, became spotlessly clean in an instant, and then were sliced into evenly sized chunks as though cut by an invisible blade.

The eggs spun wildly, as though they had been tossed into a washing machine. When they were cracked open, what flowed out was already perfectly beaten.

Honestly, magic really was handy!

The house-elves chattered about Zhang Xiao's movements, watching without blinking for fear of missing a single detail.

He heated oil in the wok and poured in the beaten eggs first. After a quick stir-fry, he scooped them out and set them aside, then began cooking the tomatoes.

Zhang Xiao preferred the northern style of Tomato and Egg Stir-fry: more sauce, no sugar, and a tangy, savory flavor.

Tomato and Egg Stir-fry was an extremely simple dish, hardly even fit for a formal banquet, but that did not stop it from being delicious.

Since the wok was fairly large, Zhang Xiao made a generous portion. After scooping it into a large basin, he gestured invitingly to the house-elves.

"Come and try some."

The house-elves reacted as though they had heard something utterly outrageous. They shook their heads frantically and kept backing away.

If they ate food the young master had cooked, wouldn't that mean the young master was serving them?

Unthinkable!

Zhang Xiao smiled faintly. As someone very good at persuading others, he had his own methods, whether the persuasion involved force or reason.

"It's all right. I just want you to taste it for yourselves. Otherwise, how will you know whether you've got the flavor right when you make it?"

The house-elves froze, their huge eyes full of confusion. In their little heads, "We mustn't let the young master serve us" battled furiously with "We must serve the young master better."

In the end, "serving the young master better" won out. They approached hesitantly, took out their battered little bowls, and carefully served themselves a small amount.

Then they dipped their fingers into it and slowly brought them to their mouths.

As though they had tasted something unbelievable, the house-elves' pupils instantly widened like cats'. They stared at the food in their bowls and burst into exaggerated sobs again.

"It's so delicious! Only food this delicious is worthy of the honored young master.

"Yunbo has never eaten anything so good!"

"Tiao Tiao hasn't either!"

"Alick, Baroque, and Haha think so too!"

Zhang Xiao scratched his head. This was the second time-his second time seeing "foreigners" show such intense enthusiasm for Chinese food. Was it really that delicious?

He picked up a piece with his chopsticks, put it in his mouth, and savored it carefully. It was indeed good, but it tasted like perfectly ordinary Tomato and Egg Stir-fry. Surely it didn't warrant all this fuss?

Over the following stretch of time, Zhang Xiao taught the house-elves several more home-style dishes, such as Fish-Fragrant Shredded Pork and Kung Pao Chicken, which went well with rice.

Each one drew a chorus of amazed cries from the house-elves. Did magical creatures have a different sense of taste from Muggles?

Zhang Xiao had never imagined that his cooking would one day receive such enthusiastic acclaim in a foreign land.

If Hogwarts' menus had not been fixed, with the house-elves having no authority to change them, they would have wanted every honored young master and miss to enjoy such delicious food.

After teaching them a few home-style dishes, Zhang Xiao left them a set of cookware, along with pots, bowls, utensils, seasonings, and a whole assortment of other things.

He also gave them a bag of Wuchang Rice shipped from northeastern China and a pot for steaming rice. Finally, he promised to come and teach them new dishes whenever he had time.

With the house-elves lined up to see him off, Zhang Xiao finally left the kitchen. He even began wondering whether he could get a chef from New Oriental to come and train them.

Whatever happened, at least he would not have to eat that detestable food tomorrow.

Goodbye, steamed potatoes, roast potatoes, fried potatoes, mashed potatoes, French fries, and potato slices!

1. Recommendation votes 2. Monthly votes