"Welcome, welcome everyone to this wedding of the century! Given that we're currently at the TVA at the beginning of time, calling it a wedding of the century might not be entirely precise, but you get what I mean."
Deadpool's wedding had no emcee. He wasn't religious either, so there wasn't even a Chaplain. Dressed in a suit and bow tie, he simply hosted the ceremony himself.
On the red-and-white platform styled like a circus stage, he held a wineglass in one hand and a microphone in the other, rattling off his inner journey at breakneck speed.
"Friends in the back, can you see me? Friends in the sky and underground? Let me see those little hands!"
"Oh, right, our service policy here is no refunds. No matter where you came from or whether you paid scalpers, the die is cast. You have no other choice now but to watch me live my happy life."
As he spoke, he winked at Cindy in the front row, since she was still accompanying Captain America and the others as "Deathstroke."
The Captain's eyes were now as red as a Vampire's, far beyond mere rabbit level.
"Okay, looks like the Livestream viewers can see me too. They're asking to interact with me. What? Someone wants to skip this and livestream the wedding night? No way, buddy. I'm aiming for a PG-13 rating here. Kids can't be watching that spicy stuff."
"Anyway, let's begin. I, the second-strongest Mercenary on Earth but number one in being foul-mouthed, I, Deadpool, forever cycling between rotting and healing, am getting married today!"
"I know some of you are saying this isn't my first marriage. Why didn't I hold a wedding last time, but went so grand this time?"
"The answer is obviously that I didn't have money before,