By the time Xie Mi changed into loungewear and came downstairs, the other two pairs had returned from their dates.
All four were sitting on the living room sofa. Qiu Chengye was enthusiastically holding forth, while Liu Woxing listened with a smile.
Xu Shuangrong and Xiao Jingxi sat side by side without speaking to each other. The atmosphere was a little strange.
Hearing footsteps on the stairs, Xiao Jingxi instinctively looked over.
"Xie..."
"Old Xie, want some chocolate?" Shen Yeqing came down the stairs behind Xie Mi.
Xie Mi immediately turned around. "Yes!"
Shen Yeqing handed her a large bag of chocolates. Every single one was matcha-flavored.
"When did you buy these?" Her face lit up with delight.
"I just went to the supermarket." Shen Yeqing raised an eyebrow, wearing his usual carefree, languid expression. "Shouldn't you say something?"
"What should I say?"
"Thank you." His lips curved into a smile, his tone deliberately casual. "Come on, say, 'Thank you, Uncle.'"
Xie Mi: "Nice."
Watching all this, Xiao Jingxi's expression darkened. "..."
"Is everyone here? Perfect timing. Our audience interaction segment is about to begin."
Director Niu stood in the middle of the living room and put on his usual portable microphone. "To increase interaction with our audience, our show has a special feature."
"At eight tonight, we'll hold our supertopic interaction session. Please log into your Weibo accounts and drop into the show's official supertopic to chat with our viewers."
"The viewers have been waiting in the supertopic for quite a while. Please get ready."
Xie Mi instantly perked up.
She remembered that during the first supertopic interaction in the original novel, almost everyone there had been a fan of Xiao Jingxi or Xu Shuangrong. The turnout had been unprecedented.
The two would also mention each other while interacting with their fans, serving up a flood of sweet moments. It was one of the Xiao Rong CP's iconic scenes.
Hoping to enjoy the drama up close, Xie Mi opened the supertopic.
Instead, the first thing she saw was a pile of memes featuring herself.
Xie Mi: "?"
A JPG of her sliding entrance was captioned: Your powerhouse has arrived.
A JPG of her pouting obnoxiously was captioned: So what, are you going to beat me to death?
A GIF of her wildly swinging a mop was captioned: My mental breakdown is locked and loaded.
Xie Mi: "Nice."
The anticipated flood of posts from Xu Shuangrong's and Xiao Jingxi's fans never appeared. Instead, a crowd of users with somewhat unhinged screen names were tagging her like crazy.
[Crazy lady's hand-pulled noodles]: Old Xie, do you know why you can't eat tomatoes with beef? Because tomatoes are red, and the cow will charge around inside your stomach. @Xie Mi
[Xie Mi]: Drink Mengniu. Blindfold the cow.
[Filthy money, get in my pocket]: Teacher Xie, I keep craving fried chicken. Am I deficient in something? @Xie Mi
[Xie Mi]: You're deficient in vitamins K/F/C. Remember to take them on schedule every Thursday.
[Socially anxious cutie]: @Xie Mi Boohoo, it's my first online relationship, and my boyfriend keeps texting me "I miss you." How should I reply?
[Xie Mi]: If that's how you feel, there's nothing I can do.
[Watashi wa]: Old Xie, Old Xie! Do you like the sea? I love it! When I'm happy, I can look at it. When I'm depressed, I can jump into it. @Xie Mi
[Xie Mi]: When you're broke, you can fish in it.
Just after Xie Mi finished replying to these jokesters, she spotted a hater's comment.
The haters were late, but they never failed to show up.
[Trash, drop dead already]: @Xie Mi 2k a night. Deal?
The familiar combination of sexual rumors and slut-shaming.
Her fans were already furiously cursing out the hater in the replies, but Xie Mi remained completely unruffled and calmly responded.
[Xie Mi]: I only keep vigil until midnight. Book the funeral banquet and suona performance together for twenty percent off. Book through the seventh-day memorial and get the full seven-day package free. Larger crowds cost extra. How many people in your family died?
[Trash, drop dead already]: ?
The hater hadn't cracked under the fans' abuse, but Xie Mi's reply broke them.
After a barrage of curses, they were promptly hauled off.
Even her fans were stunned.
[Choose between your lifeline and your dad]: Holy shit, Sister Xie, you're a badass!
[Heartless stepmother]: Now that's a fight! So satisfying!
[Eight a.m. class lackey]: Hello, Sister Xie. I'm the vet next door, and I'm here with some unfortunate news: you're too damn good.
Xie Mi's brilliant maneuver sent her trending yet again. By the time she realized what had happened, she had already ranked first in the supertopic interaction.
Xu Shuangrong and Xiao Jingxi's exchanges were nowhere to be seen. Instead, the screen was dominated by her fans and drama lovers who were only too happy to stir the pot.
They were all there for her.
[Hahahahaha, how did so many chaos lovers show up at once?]
[She's getting more attention than Best Actor Xiao? Holy shit, incredible.]
[I hereby declare that Old Xie is the absolute GOAT!!!]
"Teacher Xie!"
After the interaction ended, the assistant director rushed over excitedly. "You're now the most popular guest on our show! Our generous sponsor has decided to give you the first sponsored segment!"
"Huh??" Xie Mi nearly choked on her water.
The show's first sponsored segment was supposed to go to Xu Shuangrong. Why had it come to her instead?
Xie Mi, you've really made it.
"We'll have to trouble you to get up early tomorrow, Teacher Xie. At breakfast, take our sponsor's milk out of the refrigerator, have a sip, and deliver the advertising line..."
While the assistant director briefed her on the product placement, she caught sight of Xu Shuangrong approaching out of the corner of her eye.
"Congratulations, Ms. Xie. I'll head to bed now." Xu Shuangrong smiled faintly and went into her room.
Xie Mi glanced at the hands she had hidden in her sleeves and raised an eyebrow.
To ensure the guests got a good night's sleep, the livestream stopped overnight.
Xie Mi played games in her room until two in the morning. Hungry, she went down to the first-floor kitchen to find something to eat, only to discover someone already lying in wait.
"I knew you'd come." Xiao Jingxi stood in front of the refrigerator in the dark.
Xie Mi was instantly furious.
All I've done is sneak food at midnight for three nights in a row. Did they really need to assign someone to guard the fridge? Petty. So petty!
Granted, the show had only been running for three days.
"Let's talk." Xiao Jingxi stepped forward and reached for her hand without waiting for her consent.
Xie Mi dodged him with a Pan Zhou Dan maneuver.
Xiao Jingxi immediately lost it. "You're so comfortable touching Shen Yeqing, but the moment it's me, you can't dodge fast enough. What the hell am I to you?!"
Since he insisted on humiliating himself, Xie Mi had no choice but to go in for the kill.
"What are you? You're the evergreen of simps, the backbone of jokers, the mascot of McDonald's, the kingpin of Gotham City, the biggest joker in the deck, Batman's best customer, the number-two backup boyfriend, and a permanent resident of the blocklist."
Xiao Jingxi was so angry his eyes rolled back, and he nearly passed out.
Still refusing to give up, he asked, "Xie Mi, after all this time, haven't you ever missed me?"
"Whether I miss you doesn't matter. Whenever you miss me, you can send something my way."
Xiao Jingxi's eyes lit up. He thought he had a chance.
Then Xie Mi added, "My account number hasn't changed. It's still with ICBC."
Xiao Jingxi choked, nearly passing out with anger again.
A chance? Sure he had a chance-a starring role in tonight's circus!
Before you continue