Hogwarts: The Professor Is Off Duty Today
Chapter 22

Pumpkin Bugs, Monster Books, and Fang

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Hagrid's Hut sat near the Forbidden Forest. Whenever the moon climbed into the sky, the fireplace inside this little house would emit a pleasant, fruity wood fragrance. At times like this, the person inside could happily narrow their eyes and enjoy the music played by the cheerful bugs in the pumpkin patch outside the window.

Brian sat beside a massive wooden table, his backside pressing down on an equally massive chair. He had one of Hagrid's specially made Rock Cakes stuck in his mouth-it was completely impossible to bite through-and he used it to grind his teeth while saying:

"Hagrid, you've got some incredible bugs out in your pumpkin patch. Even on such a cold day, they've got so much energy. They sing really well."

"What? Well? No, Brian. They're complaining. Around Halloween, I took half the pumpkins up to the school for decorations, and this greedy bunch thinks I took away what rightfully belongs to them. That's why they've been super unhappy the last couple of days, chattering on and on!"

Hagrid used a rag patched together from old scraps to wipe the water stains off a rum bottle, handed it to Brian, and said unhappily:

"Hey! I raised these pumpkins from the time they were little! To get them to grow big and round, I had to pester Professor Sprout quite a few times. Oh, have you met Professor Sprout? She's a wonderful person-enthusiastic and kind."

This answer caught Brian somewhat by surprise. At that moment, he felt rather grateful that humans and insects didn't speak the same language. He stood up to push the window shut a little and said with a smile: "Of course, Professor Sprout's enthusiasm is as big as that enormous hat of hers."

Brian liked the patched-up hat on Professor Sprout's head. It carried a faint fragrance of grass and wood. Although it was nowhere near as nice-smelling as those expensive perfumes, that charming rustic scent made people involuntarily intoxicated.

Professor Sprout had also promised to take him on a tour of the Third Greenhouse at Hogwarts tomorrow. According to her, a batch of plants called Biting Cabbages would mature tomorrow afternoon, which meant that after seeing Monster Books that bit, he was about to get acquainted with plants that bit.

Thinking of the Monster Books, Brian tried to find them amidst Hagrid's cluttered hut.

He glanced around at the pots and pans placed everywhere in the room, the hams and cured meats hanging from the ceiling by ropes, and the copper kettle for boiling water that was sputtering and whistling. The patchwork quilt on the bed was haphazardly rolled into a ball. He didn't succeed.

"Hagrid, where are those two Monster Books you bought yesterday? Where are they now?" Brian asked curiously. Hagrid seemed quite fond of the Monster Books and didn't look like someone whose enthusiasm only lasted three minutes.

Hagrid forcefully tugged at his big beard, waved a hand, and said sorrowfully:

"Don't mention it... I shouldn't have bought a second Monster Book. Books like that don't have a shred of team spirit. They fight each other! Yesterday, before heading out to patrol the Forbidden Forest, I opened them up and put them together-I swear-I just wanted them to build some camaraderie. But who could have guessed that in less than half an hour, they'd have each other torn to shreds..."

Brian patted him on the back and consoled him: "The shop assistant should have told you about this beforehand-though I suppose he might not have known either. Don't feel too bad. Have you tried the Mending Charm?"

The action in Hagrid's hands stopped. He stared blankly at Brian, and then struck his own stomach in deep self-reproach: "Oh, Merlin, what have I done! I buried them in the dirt-yes, they're still books at heart!"

As soon as he finished speaking, he grabbed the shovel by the window and rushed outside. The chilly wind blew into the warm hut, and the rock-hard Rock Cakes felt even harder now.

Brian followed him out with some worry. He saw Hagrid fiercely swinging the shovel in the moonlight, full of strength and with a ferocious expression, which made it very easy for someone to harbor suspicions-did this powerfully built giant currently have the purpose of burying someone when digging a hole?

He dared say that if a child ignorant of the situation saw this scene, it would definitely leave a considerable childhood shadow.

"Hagrid, I'll help you. Are there any more shovels?" Brian felt that his joining in might perhaps make the scene a bit warmer.

Though the greater likelihood was actually adding a suspect to a case that originally only had one.

"No need, it'll be done in a minute! Physical labor is my strong suit!"

Hagrid held the shovel way too high-

The dirt frozen solid clumped together like little stones, scattering all over the pumpkin patch. Brian noticed that the bugs in the patch immediately stopped complaining.

Well, a bunch of bullies who feared the strong and bit the weak-they were pelted by the dirt falling from the sky to the point that they didn't dare make a peep.

Inside the hut, Hagrid took out his pink umbrella, hesitated for a moment, and instead turned to look at Brian with hopeful eyes, saying:

"You know... I'm not allowed to use magic casually... Could I trouble you to use the Mending Charm?"

As soon as he asked, he slapped his forehead:

"Ah, sorry, Brian, I forgot you haven't been to a wizarding school... Sigh... Well, looks like fixing them up will have to wait until tomorrow-I feel so sorry for them. Hm? You... what are you-?"

"Hagrid, thank you for the expectations you hold toward a newly minted wizard who only got his wand yesterday." Brian smiled at the puzzled Hagrid, took out the wand from his pocket, aimed it at the pile of book scraps mixed with dirt on the table, and said: Reparo!

Scraps fluttered and dirt scattered. Under Hagrid's disbelieving gaze, the two Monster Books rapidly restored to their original appearance-

Only they looked a bit pitted and bumpy, as if they had been sporadically bitten a few times by something. Yet even so, the very first thing these two books wanted to do after regaining their vigor was to take another bite out of each other.

Brian was quick-handed and sharp-eyed, smoothing down the spines of both at the same time. Watching them go limp and flat, he reasonably voiced a suspicion: "Is there some kind of book-eating bug in the dirt? Are there any specialized bug sprays?"

"I don't know, Brian-but you're a genius! Thank you!"

An overjoyed Hagrid planted two kisses on the recovered Monster Books, and then fiercely patted Brian on the back. He used so much force that he nearly knocked Brian tumbling out of his chair and onto the floor.

In a daze, Brian felt as if the beer he had just drunk into his stomach was swirling around inside. He hurriedly stopped Hagrid from giving him another couple of slaps and said with difficulty:

"Take it easy... The genius was almost nipped in the bud by you... Good grief, I think you patted me hard enough to cause auditory hallucinations-is that the sound of a big dog barking?"

Brian raised his head and saw the expression on Hagrid's face turn stern all at once-

The gamekeeper of the Forbidden Forest swiftly packed up those two Monster Books, threw on his Moleskin Coat, and picked up the crossbow hanging on the wall, saying in a low voice:

"That's not a hallucination. It's Fang, a hound and a good friend of mine. Today he's on patrol duty. Normally, the creatures in the Forbidden Forest won't actively harm Fang. He's barking like that because there's a special emergency. I have to go!"

Brian stood up without a moment of hesitation-he knew the Forbidden Forest was fraught with danger, and Hagrid couldn't use magic.

Even a thick-skinned giant would get hurt when facing dangerous Magical Creatures.

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