Hogwarts: The Professor Is Off Duty Today
Chapter 34

The legend of the Chamber of Secrets

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Brian could find no reason to turn Professor Kettleburn down, and Professor Kettleburn immediately wanted to take him out of the greenhouse, much to Professor Sprout's displeasure-

She pointed at the pot of black tea and the freshly arranged platter of cookies on the little round table and said in a tone that brooked no refusal:

"Both of you, sit down and finish this pot of tea before you leave. Are you planning to make me finish all these treats by myself?"

Professor Kettleburn was one of the rare people who had no interest in sweets. He made one last attempt to resist:

"I've only just had breakfast, and it's nearly lunchtime, Pomona-I only have one stomach. How am I supposed to fit all that food into it?"

"Puffapods," Professor Sprout said calmly. "And fluxweed."

"I don't have many pleasures in life, but I do love something sweet. Sit down, Brian."

A radiant smile immediately spread across Professor Kettleburn's face, and he plopped down on a stool.

"I'll tell you all about how I got the scars on my face."

"Oh, I've heard those stories so often my ears are worn out. I could even recite them myself!"

Professor Sprout covered her face helplessly.

"A Norwegian Ridgeback, a Ukrainian Ironbelly, a Hebridean Black, and one very bad-tempered Kneazle, right?"

"Ten points to Hufflepuff!" Professor Kettleburn told the Head of Hufflepuff House with a perfectly straight face.

"Sometimes I really think you'd make a better Head of House than I do."

Professor Sprout said,

"Though you've been put on probation more times than anyone could count on ten hands, the students all love you. Do you remember which number last year's was?"

"Do you remember how many slices of bread you've eaten?" Professor Kettleburn asked unconcernedly.

"Five thousand seven hundred and sixty. Oh, no, counting the panini Pomona gave me this morning, it should be five thousand seven hundred and sixty-two."

Brian answered instinctively. Ever since a teacher had asked him that question in kindergarten, he had silently kept count-after that, whenever anyone asked, he could give an exact answer.

Then he noticed both professors looking at him strangely. Professor Kettleburn said admiringly:

"Your memory is even better than a Niffler's-those little fellows remember the location of every gold coin in their pockets. If even one goes missing, they won't rest until they've turned their pockets inside out."

"Then do you remember how many cookies you've eaten?" Professor Sprout handed Brian another cookie and asked expectantly.

"Not at all. All I know is that your cookies are the most delicious ones I've ever tasted."

Smiling, Brian finished the cookie in two bites, swallowed it, and got to the point.

"Professor Kettleburn, I actually wanted to ask you a few questions about magical creatures."

"Ask away, ask away. No need to stand on ceremony. And don't be so formal with me-it makes me sound like an old man. I'm planning another trip to the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary after I retire, you know. An old codger wouldn't be able to get away from those big fellows' flames in one piece."

Professor Kettleburn waved a hand. He held a cookie that was still only half eaten after fifteen bites, while he was already on his fifth cup of black tea-and Professor Sprout was now pouring him another.

Brian nodded, dispensed with the formalities, and asked directly:

"What magical creature with bright yellow eyes could move freely through the castle, frighten Acromantulas, kill a human in an extremely short time without a physical attack, and then quickly leave the scene of the crime and vanish without a trace?"

"Ah... you've made it quite obvious, haven't you? I'm guessing you mean the incident that forced Hagrid to leave school... I wasn't teaching at Hogwarts yet. I was busy escaping the jaws of dragons at the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary..."

Professor Kettleburn sat up straight, a complicated expression on his face.

"I know a little, but not much. Hagrid and I are good friends, and I believe he's innocent, but he's never been very willing to discuss it with me. Tell me everything you know. If we could resolve this before I retire, nothing would make me happier."

"So you've been investigating this."

Professor Sprout patted Brian's shoulder approvingly.

"You should have asked us for help sooner. After all, we've been at Hogwarts for so long that we all know something about that giant spider-we're willing to believe Hagrid is innocent, but we simply have no evidence."

"I actually went to Professor Snape first," Brian explained.

"And he was eager to help you?" Professor Sprout asked doubtfully.

"Yes. To help me, he went to the trouble of thinking up a rather long speech that wasn't very polite, but didn't do any real harm."

Brian gave his fair assessment.

"It would have been even better if he'd been a little more straightforward and willing to deduct points from students in his own house when they misbehaved."

"Ho ho, that might be asking a bit much."

Professor Kettleburn offered his pointed verdict.

"But Heads of House generally aren't too keen on taking points from their own houses, are they, Pomona?"

"As if the children in my house haven't lost enough points already. There's no need for me to do it myself."

Professor Sprout calmly took a sip of black tea. "You still haven't answered Brian's question. Have you got an answer?"

"Of course-I already had my suspicions, actually. After hearing what you just said, I'm almost certain of the answer-but it's also an impossible one."

Professor Kettleburn lowered his voice.

"A basilisk."

Brian could not help nodding when he heard the answer.

"Yes, a basilisk. That's the same conclusion I reached while researching last night-I thought it was unlikely too. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them mentions that basilisks haven't been seen in Britain for over four hundred years."

After returning to the library the previous night, he had been lying in bed, wavering between his two theories, when he suddenly remembered what Aragog had said-what kind of monster would frighten an Acromantula?

He had even disturbed Madam Pince just as she was preparing to go to sleep. She had not been angry at all and had briskly found every book relating to Acromantulas, basilisks, and Nundus for him. One battered old book had mentioned-

Spiders would flee at the sight of a basilisk, because the basilisk was their mortal enemy.

"I really can't make sense of it. I'd originally suspected a young Nundu that was exceptionally good at concealing its presence, but Acromantulas aren't afraid of Nundus. No magical creature fits the answer better than a basilisk."

Brian sighed, thinking that perhaps he ought to visit the Forbidden Forest again that night and mention a basilisk to Aragog to confirm the answer. It was his only remaining option, and he hoped the blind spider would forgive his rashness.

Professor Sprout, who had been silent for a long time, suddenly spoke:

"...Brian, have you heard the legend? One of Hogwarts' founders, Salazar Slytherin, secretly built a chamber inside Hogwarts. He could speak Parseltongue, and he owned a basilisk..."

Professor Kettleburn interrupted her:

"Pomona, as you said yourself, it's only a legend. Neither the Ministry of Magic nor all those Hogwarts headmasters ever found that chamber. Binns told you about it, didn't he? Don't forget, he's the sort of muddlehead who could go out and leave his own body behind.

"Even if the legend is true, basilisks only live for a few hundred years. Salazar lived a thousand years ago."

"But if the legend isn't true, how do you explain all those students who were attacked back then and forced to suspend their studies or leave school? They were all Muggle-born, and Slytherin was a staunch believer in pure-blood supremacy."

Professor Sprout shook her head sadly, beginning to lose control of her emotions.

"And Moaning Myrtle, that poor child. To this day, people think she died in some strange accident. Dippet was an absolute bastard. Was Hogwarts' reputation really more important than giving a dead student a proper explanation?

"If there really is a basilisk in Hogwarts, wouldn't the students be in constant danger?"

"Perhaps that basilisk is already dead. Don't worry too much, Pomona. If the Chamber of Secrets really exists, it must have left some traces. One day, we'll find it."

Brian offered some comfort.

"I'll submit a request to Dumbledore. Once he approves it, I'll take a few big roosters around every corner of Hogwarts. Have faith in the power of sound."

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