Madam Pince

And so, two years later, Brian signed the second employment contract of his life. Unlike his first, this one could fly, read its terms aloud to him, cough when it grew tired, and even smack its lips.

Moreover, the units listed after the salary figure were Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts. These three hard currencies were made of gold, silver, and copper respectively. Wizards could exchange them for Muggle currency at a place called Gringotts, and vice versa.

"Sir, have I made everything clear?" The parchment contract turned itself to its final page and said somewhat wearily, "If you understand and have no objections, please sign me. Here's to a pleasant working relationship."

Brian liked this polite parchment gentleman. The terms were fair, even generous, so he signed. The contract rolled itself up contentedly, stamped itself, and hopped into a document pouch.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, Brian." Dumbledore raised his glass with a smile. "The house-elves have prepared a room for you in the library. Madam Pince will handle everything related to your work."

"Wait... I'm living in the library? So my commute depends entirely on how quickly I can open my door?" Once Brian realized this, his gaze turned resolute. "Even if you try to drive me away now, I'm not leaving."

After several rounds of drinks, Brian saw Dumbledore quietly raise his wand and flick it at himself twice. His swaying body immediately steadied, and his voice became calm and composed.

The old man let out a long sigh. "I think I'll have to find an opportunity to replenish my wine cellar."

Brian's head was muddled, but he still keenly realized that Dumbledore had probably used some sort of sobering charm. Struggling to lift his head from the table, he mumbled accusingly, "Cheating. That's cheating..."

"Using magic isn't cheating, my boy. You could try inventing a sobering charm yourself, but you don't even have a wand yet." He heard Dumbledore say smugly, "Sweet dreams."

"I never dream..." Brian slurred.

When Brian opened his eyes again, he saw an unfamiliar ceiling. He slowly sat up in the soft bed, noticed that the clock read precisely six in the morning, and let out a long breath.

He had drunk a little too much last night, but fortunately, he hadn't lost consciousness. He was also blessed with the gift of never getting hangover headaches. He was pleased that his six-o'clock body clock remained just as punctual in the magical world.

Looking around, he found the room fully furnished, sensibly arranged, and decorated in an elegant, old-fashioned style. It was absurdly clean, without even a trace of cobwebs in the corners.

This would be his home base at Hogwarts for a long time to come. It was cozy and just the right size.

Brian stretched his arms a few times and swung himself out of bed. The suitcase that had originally been in his car's trunk now stood securely beside the bed.

His car was still the size of a model, parked quietly on the cabinet, regarding the scruffy new wizard beside the bed with its headlights. Perhaps this was the first car to enter the wizarding world. Brian considered drawing a parking space for it on the cabinet.

Beside the car lay a sack containing his shattered old friend-his drum.

Honestly, Brian couldn't wait to learn the spell called "Reparo," but he didn't have a wand.

Fortunately, he had plenty of time to sort that out. Today was Tuesday, November fourth, and his trial period didn't officially begin until Friday.

"Diagon Alley, Ollivander's wand shop, and the wand destined for me," Brian announced to the bathroom mirror. This was the most important thing he had to accomplish today.

Of course, besides a wand, he also needed robes, a cauldron, and other necessities. Dumbledore had advanced him two months' wages, so he had enough money now. A magical librarian earned far more than a Muggle librarian.

He rubbed his face and rinsed it several times with cold water, but his cheeks remained hot. It vaguely reminded him of the day, back in school, when he had bought his first drum with money saved from part-time jobs.

Brian put on the one-size-fits-all plain traveling robe Dumbledore had given him. (Dumbledore: "If you walk around the school in Muggle clothes, the students will swarm you.") He planned to visit his next-door neighbor and future colleague, Madam Irma Pince, first.

I wonder whether Madam Pince is awake yet, Brian thought.

Having made himself presentable, Brian studied his reflection and decided he really did look rather like a wizard. Then he opened the door and discovered his concern had been unnecessary. An impeccably dressed lady was already seated at the librarian's desk.

She, too, wore black robes, along with a wizard's hat adorned with two feathers. She had a distinctly scholarly air.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Brian. I think it's time to update the warning to students on the borrowing slips: 'If you rip, crease, soil, damage, throw, drop, or otherwise damage, mistreat, or desecrate this book, Irma Pince and Chet Brian will ensure you suffer the most dreadful consequences within their power.'"

Madam Pince delivered this terrifying opening speech with a smile and a calm voice.

She then took Brian on a complete tour of the Hogwarts Library, from the first floor to the second, from the ordinary shelves to the Invisible Section, and then to the Restricted Section. Along the way, she proudly explained:

"This is the distilled essence of Hogwarts' thousand-year heritage, freely available to every member of staff and every student. Every famous wizard who graduated from Hogwarts has returned here at least ten times after graduation!"

The ordinary section was the largest, with its various books neatly sorted by category. The Invisible Section was small and apparently empty. Madam Pince said these invisible books devoted their entire existence to avoiding discovery. Most wizards, however, knew a spell that revealed hidden objects.

The Restricted Section was protected by a barrier. Madam Pince sternly stressed that students were absolutely forbidden to enter without a professor's permission slip. She gave him a real example:

"A student once stole a restricted book from here and handed it to a dark wizard, indirectly causing more than ten deaths. When the student learned what had happened, they went completely mad. Aurors found the dark wizard several months later, but by then, all that remained of him was his skin, thanks to a certain ritual recorded in the book."

As they left the Restricted Section, one of the books actually tried to break free of its chains and lunge at Brian. Brian gave it a fierce glare. The book froze in fright, then timidly bound itself even more tightly.

"How did you do that?" Madam Pince asked in amazement. At some point, a rubber baton had appeared in her hand.

"This one is always misbehaving. It won't behave unless I give it a beating. Why is it so afraid of you?"

Brian suspected it was because of the mysterious power inside him, but Dumbledore had told him to keep that secret. So he said with a perfectly straight face:

"I gave it a very fierce look just now. I've scared off wolves with that expression before."

He didn't know whether Madam Pince believed his explanation. In any case, she patted his shoulder approvingly and said:

"That's exactly the way to handle it. Well done. Many of the books here have dark magic cast on them and contain forbidden knowledge. They must be treated with caution, by staff and students alike."

Brian nodded in wholehearted agreement. In fact, while glaring at the book just now, he had suddenly felt an urge to release it from its restraints, cradle it in his arms, and lovingly care for it.

For a moment, the thought Humans are all slaves to books! had even surfaced in his mind. The book was titled How to Alter Human Cognition with Magic.

Apparently, being a magical librarian is much more dangerous than being a Muggle librarian. At least I never had to guard against sneak attacks from books before, Brian thought to himself.

When Madam Pince learned that Brian had once worked as a librarian in a Muggle library, she became even friendlier and asked many questions about Muggle libraries. Brian explained his former employer's day-to-day operations in exhaustive detail.

"Yes, books borrowed from Muggle libraries often get damaged, too. We deduct points from the borrower's credit score. Once it falls below a certain level, they're no longer allowed to use the library," Brian recalled.

"Still far too lenient," Madam Pince said ominously. "Anyone who damages a book ought to be turned into one, then made to experience whatever they did to it."

For a moment, Brian couldn't tell whether this was a joke or what Madam Pince genuinely believed.

One of his friends had once viciously torn up more than a dozen books to vent their emotions. Not only had Brian failed to stop them in time, he had even handed his friend another book.

Those books' sacrifice had helped his friend emerge from the grief of losing a loved one. Brian thought their sacrifice had been worthwhile, though that probably counted as an unhealthy way to use books.

After all, books had been invented to serve humanity. Of course, people shouldn't damage books for no reason either.

If a young wizard ever suffered an emotional breakdown in the library and accidentally damaged some priceless book, he wouldn't blame them for it.

"Please don't do that. Madam Pomfrey wouldn't get any sleep."

Brian tried to gently dissuade Madam Pince from her terrifying idea and promptly changed the subject.

"Oh, right, madam. I need to go shopping in Diagon Alley today. Dumbledore introduced me to a guide named Hagrid, but I don't know where he lives..."

"Oh, big Hagrid. I don't know him very well. He rarely visits the library. I imagine... he should be having breakfast in the Great Hall. If he isn't there, you can try his hut. It's near the Forbidden Forest, very easy to spot, with a pumpkin patch outside."

Something else suddenly occurred to Madam Pince.

"Come to think of it, perhaps you could save yourself some money at Flourish and Blotts. The library storeroom has plenty of textbooks students have discarded, particularly books on Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"They're actually still quite new, and eager to be read. I think you need them, and they need you."

The poor books, as Madam Pince described them, sounded like stray cats and dogs abandoned by their owners.

Brian was more than willing to take these books in. His room had a large cabinet that could become even larger in the future, and he had no bad habit of damaging books.

"I'd be delighted, madam. I can't think of any reason to refuse."

"Excellent, sir. I'll find time to put together a reading list for you. If you read and practice diligently according to my list, you'll soon reach the level of a fifth-year student. If you're exceptionally gifted, you could reach seventh-year level, or even that of an Auror."

Madam Pince seemed very pleased with Brian's response.

"Consider it my welcome gift."

"Oh, thank you so much!" Brian desperately needed that reading list. He thanked Madam Pince sincerely and decided to find her a suitable gift in return while shopping today.

This way, he had not only saved a great deal of money but also found a reliable course of study. Two birds with one stone.

"It's nothing. Unread books are even more pitiful than books deliberately damaged. They never see sunlight, piled together gathering mold, until they're little more than heaps of paper stained with ink."

Madam Pince continued:

"If you're going to the Great Hall, you can take a shortcut. The staircase on your right outside goes straight from the fifth floor to the second. Just watch out for the traps.

"Or you can have the house-elves bring whatever food you want to your room. That's a staff privilege. I often do that."

"Ah, speaking of house-elves... I must say, madam, they're incredibly enthusiastic," Brian remarked.

It had been Hogwarts' house-elves who brought him to his room in the library last night and patiently chatted with him at considerable length.

The house-elf looking after his comfort had offered to scrub his back while he bathed. The one decorating his room had meticulously tried five different styles in succession. The one singing him lullabies had even managed to wake him up once after he fell asleep.

They had also collectively suggested that Brian find an opportunity to make his room larger, using a spell called the Undetectable Extension Charm.

"You could hold banquets in your room every day and leave all the preparations to us! All you would need to do is enjoy our service!" the house-elves had said eagerly.

Only after Brian promised to give the idea of holding banquets serious consideration had they reluctantly left.

"Enthusiastic... I'd say they enjoy working, or the feeling of being ordered around. Some house-elves even prefer dark wizards."

Madam Pince's observation cut straight to the heart of the matter.

"I hear some wizards and Muggles have that inclination as well. Quite incomprehensible. Oh, it's getting late. I must prepare to open the library now. I hope you find a suitable wand today."

"Thank you for your good wishes, madam. Perhaps that's their way of enjoying life, too." Brian smiled, said goodbye to Madam Pince, and headed for the doors.

He hadn't visited the Great Hall yet, so he couldn't help feeling a little excited. He hoped to meet Hogwarts' students and the other professors.

Brian successfully found the shortcut. After carefully avoiding the trick steps, he quickened his pace toward the castle's Entrance Hall. The Great Hall was nearby.

He hadn't forgotten his intention to build good relationships with the magical portraits, and greeted every one he passed. But it was too early, and he still hadn't encountered any students.

Not until he stood at the Great Hall's open doors, smelling the delicious food, did he see two identical red-haired, freckled boys walk out shoulder to shoulder.

The two boys stopped in front of Brian, their faces alight with delighted surprise.

"Hello?" Brian rubbed his eyes. He wondered whether he hadn't slept well and was seeing double.

"Good morning, sir. Remember us?" said the boy on the left.

"We made a point of saying hello to you last night," added the boy on the right.

"One question-"

"Why aren't you wearing yesterday's Muggle outfit?"

"It was really cool."

"Oh, right, we haven't introduced ourselves. I'm Fred Weasley-"

"I'm George Weasley."

"It's a pleasure-"

"To see you again."

The boys raised their hands in perfect unison and waved at him from either side, grinning.

Brian realized who they were. These twins were the mischievous students who had been wandering around last night. They had even dared to greet him at the risk of being caught by the headmaster. They certainly had nerve!

He was now a member of Hogwarts' staff, so he really shouldn't encourage rule-breaking nighttime excursions. Intending to give the children a little scare, he put on a stern expression and said:

"Mr. Weasley, Mr. Weasley, I'm afraid I have some unfortunate news. Professor Dumbledore spotted you last night. He told me he intends to punish you severely."

Brian kept a straight face, waiting for the two boys to ask what the punishment was. But they never did.

George shrugged and spread his hands. "Uh..."

"You're obviously lying to us," Fred said calmly.

"Impressive. How could you tell? Wasn't I convincing?"

Brian was a little surprised.

His acting wasn't bad at all. Back in school, he had often fooled his friends completely. He had even made a guest appearance in a film-industry friend's graduation project, playing a magician who could use real magic.

Now, he was only one wand away from becoming a wizard. Surely his acting ought to have improved, too.

Fred lifted his head proudly.

"Sir, you still have plenty of room for improvement. To bring a little extra fun into our good friends' lives-"

"We work hard on our bluffing skills every single day," George added smugly.