"Once I have everything in King's Landing arranged, I'll teach Joffrey a few things. But do you know a good way to quiet a hotheaded adolescent?"
"Women, my lord. The king is thirteen now. I think it's time he visited certain establishments and saw women's breasts and thighs. He would settle down considerably."
"A good idea. Unfortunately, my sister watches him far too closely, and the Hound is always there too. We can discuss that later."
"The Hound?" Varys scoffed. "Ever since he heard the Mountain was dead, he has seemed utterly broken. Quite despondent."
"My father grieved for a long time too. That might have been his favorite mad dog," The Imp said bluntly.
"You were the first minister to show me goodwill. For the sake of our friendship, stop looking so miserable and have a drink," The Imp said, gesturing for Varys to begin.
"For such a splendid meal, I must offer something in return." Seated at the table, Varys first shared a cup of golden wine with the Imp.
Varys looked around. Shae, the Imp's favorite whore, was not here. Varys knew the Imp had settled her in a spacious timber-and-stone mansion with its own stables, well, and garden. He had given her numerous servants to command and bought her a white bird from the Summer Isles for company. She had silks and satins, gold and jewels, and guards specifically to protect her, yet she remained dissatisfied.
Varys looked about and realized there were no other whores here either. He sighed inwardly. Being too devoted to a whore will be your greatest trouble, Tyrion.
Varys poured another cup of fine wine. "Ah, sweet as summer." He took another sip. "The grapes are singing on my tongue."
"Then I won't stand on ceremony," The Imp said. "But do