The dark doggerel poet of the back alleys

Hadn't everyone in the Elite Livestream Room already figured this out?

Xingqiu wrote under the pen name Pillow Jade, and his novels sold very well in Inazuma.

[Diluc: Why do I feel like something's off?]

[Sangonomiya Kokomi: I feel the same way.]

[Thoma: @Hu Tao @Chongyun, you two aren't restricted. Is there anything you can tell us?]

[Hu Tao: I knew Xingqiu was writing a book. It was a collection of strange tales, too. I was even planning to tell him about the odd things I ran into every day. We've traded plenty of verses, and his literary talent is beyond question.]

[Eula: You have such refined interests too, Director Hu?]

[Hu Tao, hands on her hips: Of course! I'm great at poetry. I'll give you a live demonstration! Ahem... when the sun comes out, I bask in the sun; when the moon comes out, I bask in the moon!]

[Kaeya: ...]

[Kamisato Ayaka: ...]

[Ningguang: ...]

[Hu Tao: Then here's another! The first hilichurl fell ill, the second came to see; the third gathered herbs, the fourth brewed the remedy; the fifth hilichurl died, the sixth carried him away!]

[Amber: What kind of song is that?!]

[Hu Tao: The dark doggerel poet of the back alleys-that's me.]

Everyone facepalmed.

[Chongyun: I'm not particularly skilled with words. Although my handwriting is better than Xingqiu's, I didn't even know he'd published novels in Inazuma.]

[Xingqiu: I only started recently.]

[Arataki Itto: So what's the answer? It's one out of four. I'm itching to buzz in again.]

[Sayu: Aren't there five options?]

[Arataki Itto: Are you dumb? Yae Miko just said his books sell like crazy in Inazuma, and his family runs some big merchant guild too. Doesn't that rule out option four? How could nobody be interested? And from what I figure, option one, a huge bestseller, is impossible. Even his own friends don't know about it. So really, it's one out of three.]

[Kaeya, applauding: That's Arataki Itto for you. He's grown through his punishments.]

[Yanfei: That analysis makes sense. If it were a bestseller in Liyue, even if we didn't read novels, at least one of us should have heard of it.]

[Kujou Sara: Everyone knows that without you telling us.]

That meant ordinary logic eliminated two options, leaving a rare one-in-three choice.

[Amber: Could it be that he hasn't sold any at all?]

The countdown was about to begin.

Baishi ran back to the Jade Chamber. "Lady Ningguang! Lady Ningguang! Pick five! Pick five! I've been waiting at Wanwen Bookhouse. I asked the owner, Jifang, and neither she nor her husband remembered any books by Xingqiu or Pillow Jade."

Meanwhile, elsewhere.

"Lord Childe! Lord Childe! Our Fatui agents stationed at Wanwen Bookhouse said they asked, and there weren't any at all! Even the owner had no recollection of them!"

Heh, heh, heh-

Ding-Ningguang and La Signora have secured the chance to answer.

[Tartaglia: Damn it! I didn't get in! @La Signora, trust me. The answer is Minor Cold.]

[La Signora: Is that so?]

Having seen so many people receive rewards, La Signora naturally wanted one herself. This question didn't look difficult, and she had intended to choose three. It seemed perfectly reasonable.

But Tartaglia was so confident. Surely one Harbinger wouldn't screw over another?

[Yanfei: The Fatui actually know the answer.]

[Keqing: Grilled beef offal for sale!]

[Ganyu: Miss Ningguang buzzed in. Baiwen and the others must have asked around and found the answer.]

Right! Only then did everyone realize they could ask at Wanwen Bookhouse, the biggest bookstore in Liyue.

[Amber: Liyue has the home-field advantage this round.]

Ningguang and La Signora have selected their answers.

[Thoma: @Tartaglia, what answer does Minor Cold mean?]

[Kamisato Ayaka: It should refer to the winter solar term. He means the fifth option.]

[Ningguang: I chose five too.]

[Chongyun: So Xingqiu has never written novels in Liyue.]

[Xingqiu: ...Well... I... let me apologize in advance.]

Xingqiu was the one who felt truly awkward.

[Lisa: What does that mean? Oh, this is getting interesting. So five is wrong?]

Many people chose three, and punishments were already being handed out in large numbers in the ordinary livestream room. Even with fifty people buzzing in, fewer than three answered correctly, so it went into a second round.

Ding-Ningguang and La Signora selected five. Incorrect.

Baishi cried, "Ah! I'm sorry, Lady Ningguang!"

Baishi dropped straight to her knees.

[La Signora: Tar! Tag! Li! A!]

Ningguang and La Signora will receive their punishment simultaneously: a ten-minute massage from one hundred high-powered massage guns.

[Amber: A massage? That's a punishment too?]

[Fischl: What sort of gun is a massage gun?]

The screen showed Ningguang's room in the Jade Chamber and La Signora's room in the grand hotel where she was staying.

Their bodies instantly froze, and then a hundred massage guns appeared out of thin air.

Then-

The screen went black.

Ningguang: "Aah-!"

La Signora: "Aah-!"

The entire continent heard their agonized screams. The picture had vanished the instant the massage guns appeared.

Ningguang: "Help!"

La Signora: "Make it stop-Tartaglia! I'm going to kill you!!!!!"

There was no picture, only Ningguang and La Signora's screams and shrieks.

Ding-The punishment footage is too frightening and has therefore been automatically blocked.