"Easy, easy, Jiantou! Are you holding a grudge because I won't let you return to Jiangling? Are you trying to kill me so you can go back and climb to a higher branch?"
Inside Tuqiu Settlement, the sun shone brightly. Liu Cheng tilted his head back, baring his neck, and could not help crying out in pain as the dagger in Fu Jian's hand scraped across his chin.
"General of the Guards!" Fu Jian complained helplessly, holding up the gleaming dagger. "We ran out of tung oil at the end of February. It would hurt no matter who shaved you! Besides, our bodies, hair, and skin come from our parents. Nobody wanted to shave. You insisted on it, even the sideburns, saying you were afraid of lice spreading disease! And yesterday, when you shaved Wang Guannu and he complained that it hurt, you scolded him for his aristocratic ways and inability to endure hardship. Just one day later, I'm supposedly trying to murder you for my own advancement."
Though Fu Jian sounded annoyed, his words were measured and well supported.
Liu Cheng was certainly not afraid of him. He immediately seized upon the flaw in how Fu Jian had addressed him to offer a rebuttal. "What General of the Guards? How could a country bumpkin of the Huai River region like me deserve to be General of the Guards? Besides, I lost the towns north of Mount Tai. Losing towns is a crime, and I've already submitted a memorial requesting to resign. Don't go calling me that."
Utterly helpless, Fu Jian could only hold his dagger and continue asking, "Then does the General of the Vanguard Army still want his beard and sideburns shaved today?"
"Go ahead. I'll bear it. Just be gentle." Resigned, Liu Cheng lay back down and