The Laughing Uchiha
Chapter 17

Please Call Me Uchiha Kogoro

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24d ago•

Retsuo fell silent, though his heart was far from calm. One instance of hostility could be called a coincidence, but twice? That was serious. This was no ordinary malice, and it was basically confined to this dango shop. He had to find the person responsible.

But after looking around, he found nothing. Everyone seemed perfectly natural.

Izumo Kamizuki said mysteriously, "Have you heard? The Third Hokage is going to take up the position of Naruto again."

Kotetsu Hagane felt awkward, because Prince Asuma was sitting nearby. Izumo Kamizuki followed Kotetsu Hagane's gaze and quickly shrank back. "The Third Hokage hasn't had it easy either. He's already at that age."

Asuma was unconcerned. "Anyway, all we need to do is give our lives for the village."

At that moment, Retsuo suddenly cut in. "I thought there might be some new changes when one generation replaced another."

The air abruptly fell silent, but Retsuo ruled out Asuma. It wasn't him.

Kakashi and Umino Iruka were the first to be ruled out.

And with Might Guy's brain capacity, there was absolutely no way it could be him. It wasn't that he couldn't feel hostility toward Retsuo, but Might Guy could never be a scheming bastard.

There was no reason for the two bit players, Izumo Kamizuki and Kotetsu Hagane, to harbor ill intent, and they weren't worth suspecting.

Tenma and Shinji were people Retsuo had never suspected.

Crossing out Asuma left four people.

Mizuki and Anko were both highly suspicious. There was no need to mention Anko. Mizuki was the sort who joined the Nationalist Party in 1949, which showed his brain wasn't working too well.

Kurenai Yuhi let out an auntie-like grin. "Then should we celebrate the Third Hokage becoming Naruto again?"

Immediately afterward, everyone raised their skewers and cheered at once. The prickling sensation struck Retsuo again.

Fuck! This village was impossible to stay in! Why would the Third Hokage taking office again trigger hostility toward him? It wasn't as though he had pushed the Third Hokage back into power. The old man wanted the position himself.

Just then, Mizuki picked at his teeth and said to Retsuo, "Successor of the Will of Fire, the Third Hokage becoming Naruto again has plenty to do with you. And now you're talking about generational change? Have you lost your mind?"

The title "Successor of the Will of Fire" had recently been heavily promoted by Uchiha Fugaku. This clan head wasn't completely useless. Because of a single remark from the Fourth Hokage, he had keenly seized an opportunity to build momentum for the main family. Unfortunately, Fugaku was still cowardly enough to bring tears to one's eyes. Root had attacked Retsuo without reason, yet he had not pursued the matter at all.

In Fugaku's words, he was "waiting for a better opportunity."

Retsuo had thrown himself into training and paid little attention to Fugaku's publicity campaign.

Though history had already begun to change, Retsuo could be said to understand everyone's temperament. Of course he knew that this level of publicity would not only be useless, but might even backfire.

And now Mizuki was mocking him over it.

Mizuki and Iruka had not yet graduated from the Ninja Academy. They were this year's graduating class.

At that thought, Retsuo suddenly burst into wild laughter. "Hahaha—hahaha—"

Shinji immediately covered her face. Retsuo had an episode once or twice every day lately. Was this perhaps a trait of the Uchiha Clan?

Mizuki slammed the table in anger. "Hey, you bastard! What are you laughing at?"

Uchiha Retsuo sneered. "Senior Mizuki, I heard you intend to stay at the academy and become a teacher? I don't think your Will of Fire is up to standard. Teaching might be a little too much for you."

"You're talking nonsense!" Panic suddenly rose in Mizuki's heart. His usual performance at the academy had been excellent. He had written papers such as On the Inheritance of the Will of Fire, and the village higher-ups had great expectations for him. But deep down, he truly had little Will of Fire.

After the panic came fury. Mizuki's eyes bulged as he roared, "Just you wait! Once I stay at the academy, I'll teach you how to become a qualified ninja!"

"Sorry, but I'll be applying to graduate early."

Retsuo frowned as he spoke, because two distinct prickling sensations appeared on the Yin Release Barrier at the same time.

One was the same as before, gentle and sustained. The other was new and extremely intense, with a high frequency of pain that disappeared quickly.

What was going on?

But Retsuo immediately understood. The newly appeared one should be Mizuki. In fact, every time someone stimulated him with malicious thoughts, each person's malice had its own frequency. He had already memorized Danzo's frequency, so it was hard to mistake it.

In other words, Mizuki could also be ruled out. It hadn't been him earlier.

That left only the three girls: Anko, Kurenai Yuhi, and Chie Tsubaki. Of them, Kurenai Yuhi was the least suspicious. By this point, Asuma had practically already won her over.

Chie Tsubaki was not very suspicious either. This bit player had even less presence than Izumo Kamizuki. She remained on the suspect list only because Kogoro Mouri's master, Shiota Heihachiro, had a famous saying.

At that thought, Retsuo felt reassured. Even if he couldn't dig the person out, he could simply defend against everyone!

Women were creatures who affected the speed at which one drew one's sword, after all.

Besides, Anko was basically locked in as the culprit.

Shinji seemed to have long expected Retsuo to plan on graduating early, but Tenma was very surprised. "Why?"

"Because I can't wait to contribute to the village! And not just me. You two should start special training too, and strive to graduate alongside me."

If Tenma and Shinji graduated early, they would not end up graduating in the same year as Uchiha Itachi and becoming tools for him to awaken his eyes.

Tenma and Shinji looked at each other and nodded. Just thinking about how Retsuo had once been inferior to them, yet was now already making such a name for himself, made their hearts stir uncontrollably.

Without warning, Kakashi's mask shifted, and his voice was cool. "Shouldn't the person who needs special training most be you?"

Retsuo looked embarrassed. The one who needed special training most really was him. He had a hundred ways to show off in Danzo's face, then show off in Sarutobi Hiruzen's face, and finally show off in Obito's face. But without strength, he couldn't show off at all.

At present, there were only two ways to rapidly improve his strength. One was to train Genjutsu. The Uchiha Clan had stacked countless buffs in Genjutsu, giving them an enormous racial advantage.

The other was to train his Bloodline Limit. He didn't dare say it would definitely succeed, but since Minato Namikaze had given him guidance, he had to give it a try.

Just as he was about to ask for help, Kakashi raised a hand as though closing a door in the wind. "Hey, hey, don't look at me like that. I have a mission to carry out. I don't have time to guide your training."

Uh...

Retsuo had not expected Kakashi to be so blunt. Although Kakashi had always refused him over the years, he usually turned him down more tactfully.

Kakashi was the kind of man who could send countless graduating teams back to the Ninja Academy for retraining. Before leading Team 7, he had been utterly hard-hearted. When it came to refusing others, Retsuo was willing to call him the strongest.

Kakashi continued, "Besides, you're already someone capable of defeating a Root Ninja. Even the weakest Root Ninja is an experienced Chunin. At that level, ninja generally train alone or spar with people of equal skill."

Might Guy suddenly sprang up excitedly, holding his left arm straight out with his palm extended, his mouth pulled into an exaggerated curve. "Ah, Uchiha Retsuo, how about a youthful spar with Konoha's Blue Beast?"

"No! I'm nowhere near that strong. I ambushed him." Retsuo broke into a waterfall of sweat. Sparring with Might Guy would probably get him killed.

Kakashi shook his head indifferently. "How could a Root Ninja's level allow you to ambush him?"

"Uh... maybe because Root Ninja are all pretty stupid?"

The pain suddenly intensified.

It hurt like hell!

Retsuo froze in confusion.

But his confusion lasted only an instant. Though his mind was filled with disbelief, he still casually said to Anko, "I wasn't talking about your teacher."

"You bastard! You have no respect for Lord Orochimaru at all!" Mitaraishi Anko angrily punched the table, only to see Retsuo's expression suddenly become extremely strange.

Because Anko's prickling feedback had appeared too. It was different!

For fuck's sake! Who else in this room had ties to Root? Retsuo's gaze suddenly shifted to Kakashi. This was absurd opening the door for absurdity—absurd all the way home! So the correct answer was the one he had ruled out first?

Still, after eliminating every impossible option, no matter how absurd the sole remaining option was, there could only be one answer!

At that moment, Kakashi lightly asked, "I'm rather curious. How exactly did you ambush that Root Ninja?"

Retsuo gave him a strange answer. "Big Brother Kakashi, I'll tell you privately."

End of Chapter
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