Gold-Medal Assassins

Inside an abandoned factory on the outskirts of town.

Crackling sounds rang through the desolate woods as dry, yellowed leaves were crushed under heavy strides. Two massive figures emerged from the trees.

They were the two brothers, Huang Dahu in his suit and Hei Xiaozai, black from head to toe.

A tall jeep was parked outside the factory. The lion from the Monster Club, his head covered in dreadlocks, leaned against it in a leather jacket, smoking a thick cigar.

"Sorry we're a few minutes late," Huang Dahu said as he approached. "We had to cross some railway tracks on the way. A train came through, so we hid for a while."

"No problem." The dreadlocked lion smiled. "I only just got here myself. You showed up right after I lit my cigar."

"Where are the assassins?" Huang Dahu asked.

"Inside." The dreadlocked lion took one mighty drag, burning through the entire thick cigar until the flame rushed down to his fingers. His eyes squeezed shut and his head shuddered. He exhaled a huge cloud of smoke as though his soul had left his body, then slowly opened his eyes. "Follow me."

Huang Dahu turned to his younger brother. "Don't copy that. Smoke three like that and you'll get lung cancer."

"Can't help it. Those two brothers inside can't handle provocation." The dreadlocked lion sounded rather helpless. "Seeing sparks sets them off."

Beyond the factory gates lay a spacious workshop piled with broken machinery. There was no one inside, so the dreadlocked lion led them up to the second floor.

"With tempers like that, are they reliable?" Huang Dahu asked with a frown.

"All I can tell you is that these brothers are the strongest gold-medal assassins I can get hold of right now," the dreadlocked lion said. "Back in the Wasteland Zone, they once joined forces to kill an astral realm cultivator! Since coming to the city, they haven't failed a single job. Every target has been thoroughly disposed of. The only little drawback is, well..."

"What?" Huang Dahu asked.

"Sometimes they kill the client too." The dreadlocked lion hurried to add, "Really, they just have bad tempers. Don't provoke them and you'll be fine."

As he spoke, he pushed open the door to the second-floor workshop.

The Tiger Demon brothers immediately saw another pair of monster brothers inside.

They were two partially transformed monsters who stood over two meters tall, brown all over and extremely muscular. Compared to their broad bodies, their heads were tiny. Their faces looked a little like rodents and a little like deer, with large black eyes that seemed utterly vacant.

Both monsters wore ill-fitting coveralls, one in denim blue and the other in camouflage green. One even had a cap perched crookedly on his head. Overall, they looked... not especially bright.

Huang Dahu looked at them and asked, "Deer?"

Behind him, Black Tiger also ventured a guess. "Kangaroos?"

The monster in camouflage green ambled over to Black Tiger, suddenly raised his right hand, and smashed the hammer he was holding down on Black Tiger's head.

Clang!

The blow was tremendously powerful and astonishingly fast. It would have burst a human's head on impact.

Fortunately, Black Tiger's body was tough. He was merely knocked to the floor, letting out an agonized howl. "Roar!"

"What the hell?" Huang Dahu immediately raised his fists and bellowed, "Trying to rob your own clients?"

The one in denim blue pulled out a weapon too-a large wrench covered in paint-and took a fighting stance.

"Calm down!" The dreadlocked lion hurried to push the two monsters back, then turned to Huang Dahu. "Watch what you say, both of you! I told you they have bad tempers!"

"What did I even say?" Huang Dahu helped his brother up, then demanded angrily.

"You..." the monster in camouflage green stammered. "You're the... roo-dents! We're... noble muntjacs!"

"Got it, got it," the dreadlocked lion hurriedly said. "These brothers are Muntjac Demons. They were born in the Wasteland Zone and don't have names. Just call them Big Muntjac and Second Muntjac."

Most monsters in the Wasteland Zone grew up wild. Even after gaining intelligence, they had no concept of giving themselves names.

A group of Tiger Demons like the Tiger Head Gang, who could name themselves by color and seniority and come up with names like Huang Dahu and Hei Xiaozai, counted as a highly educated family in the Wasteland Zone.

Roughly equivalent to human PhDs.

"Kangaroos... aren't rodents. And what's so... noble about muntjacs anyway?" Black Tiger clutched his bloody head and stood up through gritted teeth.

He wasn't fluent in human speech and usually spoke only a few words at a time. That hammer blow had forced him to use complete sentences.

Big Muntjac, dressed in denim blue, was comparatively steadier. He put away his wrench and said, "My little brother's not right in the head. Don't hold it against him. Back in the Wasteland Zone, other monsters always looked down on us because we were muntjacs. It left us with a bit of a sore spot."

"They're the only muntjacs I've ever seen cultivate to this level." Seeing the tension ease, the dreadlocked lion smiled again. "These brothers have trained their bodies until they're practically indestructible. And they have a special headbutt technique. Any god or Buddha in their way gets smashed aside."

"As long as they can fight." Huang Dahu's face was grim. "If they can kill my enemy, I'll let what just happened slide."

"We've never failed to kill someone," Big Muntjac said coldly. "We might kill extra, but never too few."

"No need for extras," Huang Dahu said. "You understand my requirements, right? You must follow my commands during the operation. The target isn't stupid. If you give yourselves away even slightly, he'll definitely notify the Supernatural Affairs Bureau..."

Before he finished, Second Muntjac in camouflage green ambled over to Huang Dahu and suddenly raised his hand.

Another hammer blow!

Although Huang Dahu had already grown wary as he approached, his opponent was unexpectedly fast and strong. He still failed to dodge. With a clang, he was knocked flat!

"Aaargh!" he roared in pain.

"What the hell?" Black Tiger took a stance to rip out a heart.

"Calm down!" The dreadlocked lion stepped in again. "I forgot to mention, there's one particular word these brothers absolutely hate. The moment they hear it, they get triggered and become extremely violent."

"That's right!" Big Muntjac's eyes were red, but he restrained himself and held Second Muntjac back. "You didn't know before, so I won't blame you. Watch yourselves from now on."

"Which word?" Huang Dahu asked angrily as he got up.

The lion didn't dare say it. "Think about it. Obviously, it's that word!"

Black Tiger guessed from beside them, "Could it be... 'stupid'? Doesn't everyone call them stupid muntjacs? Stupid muntjacs? Maybe it traumatized them? They... they can't stand hearing people say... stupid."

After speaking, Black Tiger raised his head and found four scarlet eyes staring at him.

"You guessed right." Big Muntjac stared straight at him. "You're not allowed to say 'stupid' in front of us."

"And especially not 'stupid muntjacs,'" Second Muntjac added, his gaze equally icy.

"You just said it several times, didn't you?" Big Muntjac's voice was sinister enough to belong to a vengeful ghost.

"No." Black Tiger backed away, clutching his head. "I didn't mean to call you 'stupid muntjacs.' I was just explaining what happened. Maybe other people keep calling you stupid muntjacs. Fine, I was wrong this time. Can we let it go if I promise not to do it again? I absolutely won't say stupid muntjacs anymore, or even stupid! If I say stupid again, I'm a stupid dog! Hey... big brother, save me..."

In this crisis, the human speech he normally struggled with suddenly flowed freely. He even became something of a fast talker.

The two furious muntjacs' eyes glowed red. Demon flame surged several meters above them, their terrifying presence plunging the entire workshop into deathly silence.

Black Tiger felt despair wash over him. He turned to his older brother for help, only to find Huang Dahu and the dreadlocked lion huddled in a corner, exchanging tips on cigars.

"I'm telling you, you have to light a cigar before you smoke it," Huang Dahu said.

"Well, well." The dreadlocked lion gave him a thumbs-up. "An expert."

"You two, stop acting like this has nothing to do with you! Your acting's terrible!" Black Tiger roared. "Do you think I'm some big stupid idiot?"

"You said it again!" Big Muntjac raised his wrench high.

"You keep... saying it. You haven't... stopped!" Second Muntjac wiped the blood off his hammer and raised it again.

Thump, thump, thump, thump!

Ding, clang, clatter!

Smack, smack, smack-aaah!

Shibal!

Boom-

Muffled blows and miserable howls rang through the secluded factory.

Huang Dahu stole a glance in their direction, looking pained. "When are they going to stop beating him?"

"Usually, they stop when they get tired," the dreadlocked lion said, clicking his tongue. "I told you their cultivation was impressive, didn't I? Look at that surging demonic power. A cultivator below the astral realm couldn't even break their skin."

"You really weren't kidding."

"Told you. Leave it to me, and you can rest easy."

"Why is every blow aimed at his head? They're not going to beat my brother stupid, are they?"

"Hey! Did you just say it?"

"No, no, no..."

"I heard you."

"Shut up, you bastard!"