Drunk

It was past one in the morning when the door to the private room opened.

Linley walked in.

His face was deathly pale, his eyes hollow, as though his soul had been torn away.

"Linley!" Yale was the first to stand.

Reynolds and An stood as well.

Linley said nothing. He simply sat down at the table, picked up a bottle, and drank. Liquor spilled from the corners of his mouth and dripped onto his moon-white robe, but he seemed not to notice.

"Slow down, Linley." Yale caught his hand, his brow deeply furrowed.

Linley raised his head and looked at his three brothers. His lips twitched as though he wanted to smile, but he couldn't.

"I saw her." Linley's voice was low and hoarse. "She was with Kalan, holding hands. They were walking down Champs-Élysées Avenue, looking so close."

An's heart clenched.

"Brother..." An opened his mouth, but he didn't know how to comfort him.

"An, did you already know?" Linley suddenly asked, staring straight at him.

An was silent for a moment, then nodded. "I saw them on Champs-Élysées Avenue today. I meant to tell you when I got back, but I hadn't had the chance..."

Linley closed his eyes and drew a deep breath.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What would telling you have changed?" An asked, his tone calm but tinged with helplessness. "You had to see it yourself before you could let go. If I'd told you beforehand, you would have gone to her and demanded an explanation. And then what? She might have made up a bunch of excuses to keep deceiving you, and you would have kept waiting because of them. In the end, you'd still be the one getting hurt."

Linley fell silent, then gave a self-mocking smile. "Let go... yes. I've let go."

He picked up the bottle and took another swig. The liquor burned its way down his throat and into his stomach. But that little pain was nothing compared with the ache in his heart.

"Like an idiot, I carried a Memory Crystal Ball to Fenlai City four times, just so she could see it." Linley's voice trembled. His eyes reddened, but he stubbornly refused to let the tears fall. "She was holding hands with someone else while I was still waiting. Promises? Fuck her promises. She said she'd tell me outright. And what happened? She stood me up again and again, leaving me to wait alone from evening until the middle of the night."

"September twenty-ninth was the first time she stood me up. I waited from evening until the middle of the night, and every second was agony. I thought something had held her up. I thought she was angry, so the next day, like an idiot, I recorded all sorts of scenes around the academy with the Memory Crystal Ball, hoping they'd make her happy."

"In mid-October, I carried two crystal balls over to see her, but she wasn't there again. I went at the end of October and in mid-November, too. Every time, I stood alone outside that inn, waiting from daylight until dark."

"I went again today..." Linley's voice finally choked. "This time, she didn't make me wait. She showed me the answer outright."

Reynolds's eyes reddened as he listened. He slammed his hand onto the table. "That Alice-what gives her the right! You treated her so well, Linley, and she actually..."

"Reynolds." Yale stopped him, signaling him not to make things worse.

"Didn't I treat her well? I gave her whatever she wanted! She said she didn't want to disturb my training, so I stayed away! She said she wanted me by her side, so I even considered leaving the academy! And what happened? She ended up with Kalan!"

He swept his arm out, knocking the bottles off the table. They shattered on the floor.

Silence settled over the private room again. Only the firewood in the hearth crackled now and then.

An stood, walked over to Linley, and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Brother, enough." An's voice was very, very low. "You have us. You still have me, Yale, Reynolds, Wharton, and Father. She's just one woman. She isn't worth doing this to yourself."

Linley's body stiffened, then gradually relaxed. He raised a hand and patted An's back, his voice hoarse. "...An, thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?" An released him and looked earnestly into his eyes. "We're brothers. For life."

Yale walked over and clapped Linley hard on the shoulder. "From now on, don't shed another tear for that woman. She doesn't deserve it."

Reynolds joined them, his eyes shining. "Exactly, Linley. You're so handsome, and you're a sixth-rank mage. The girls chasing after you could form a line from Ernst Academy to Fenlai City. Why give up everything for her? I'll have my family introduce you to a few princesses in the O'Brien Empire!"

Reynolds's words coaxed the corners of Linley's mouth upward. Though his smile looked worse than tears, at least the despair had left his face.

He looked at his three brothers, his eyes reddening.

After a long while, he opened his eyes, picked up the last unbroken bottle on the table, and raised it.

"Yale, Reynolds, and An." Linley's gaze swept over the four of them, his voice a little steadier. "Thank you. This bottle is to you."

That night, Linley drank heavily, until he lost consciousness. As he drank, he spoke in broken fragments about his memories with Alice-the figure in purple when they first met, the warmth of their whispered conversations on the balcony, her shyness as she nestled in his arms amid the falling snow, her beauty as they embraced in the inn. Every memory was a knife cutting into his heart.

Then he passed out completely.

Yale sighed and had Linley carried back to the carriage and taken to the academy. An followed behind the carriage, watching snowflakes drift down from the sky, his heart a tangle of emotions.

After returning from Fenlai City, Linley collapsed straight onto his bed without a word. An stood outside Linley's bedroom for a long time, but in the end, he didn't go in.

Some pain had to be borne alone.

Early the next morning, Linley disappeared.

When An woke, Linley's bed was empty, and his pack was gone as well. He asked Reynolds, who said he had seen Linley heading toward the mountain behind the academy with his pack before dawn.

An got up and went to the dining hall, bought breakfast for Linley, packed it in an insulated container, and headed toward the mountain.

The snow on the mountain was deep and crunched beneath his feet. An followed Linley's footprints for a long time before finally stopping beside a clearing.

Linley stood motionless before a massive boulder.

He just stood there, with Bebe crouching at his feet and looking up at him now and then.

An didn't put the insulated container beneath a large tree. He beckoned to Bebe. Bebe looked at Linley, then at An, hesitated for a moment, and finally ran over. An crouched, stroked Bebe's head, and said quietly, "Keep an eye on him. Don't let anything happen to him. Come find me if you're hungry."

Bebe nodded and ran back to Linley's side.

An turned and left.

An returned to the dormitory. "Is Linley still on the mountain?"

"Yes." An sat down across from Reynolds. "Where's Yale?"

"He took some people to Fenlai City first thing this morning. Said he was going to look into Alice and that Kalan." Reynolds paused.

An nodded.