"Brother Xiao, you're finally back!" Yu Yuan nearly burst into tears on the spot when he saw Ye Xiao come through the front door.
The delivery guy had apparently received some message just now. Saying his employer was back and he needed to get the car, he had left through the side door.
"You have no idea what kind of inhuman treatment I suffered in those two short hours. I was forced to finish three whole test papers!"
He looked ready to cough up his soul. "This time, your little sister really..."
Before he could finish saying she had screwed him over, Yu Yuan's complaints stopped abruptly as he took in the scene at the entrance.
Ye Xunzhi walked in the middle, playing a game on her phone and smiling with utter delight.
On her left, Lu Nan held shopping bags in his left hand and milk tea in his right, occasionally bringing it to her lips for a sip. His face wore the lifeless look of someone asking, "How did things end up like this?"
On her right, Ye Xiao dutifully waved a little fan, looking every bit the diligent worker.
The only thing the two had in common was probably that, beneath their bewilderment, they both felt a little lucky.
At least their sworn rival hadn't won the competition.
Yu Yuan's brain crashed. What was this scene of an ancient monarch with a companion on either arm???
Lu Nan put everything on the table, slipped one hand into his pocket, and waved the other, teasing Ye Xunzhi as she sat on the couch:
"Little miss, I've delivered you to your destination. May I leave now?"
Ye Xiao focused on the game in his sister's hands and showed no courtesy whatsoever. "You can get lost."
Ye Xunzhi said, "Goodbye."
Lu Nan: ...These siblings really were the picture of using someone and tossing them aside.
Yu Yuan already had the feeling that he couldn't afford to offend any of the three people present. "Then I'll head out too."
Ye Xiao said, "Goodbye. Thanks for your hard work today."
Knowing she had screwed him over, Ye Xunzhi was very well behaved. "Bye-bye, Brother Yu~"
Lu Nan: Fucking double standards, too.
After the two left, Ye Xiao still drew on his scant manners to see them to the door, then came back to keep watching the game.
As they watched, both siblings got hooked and started teaming up to play Game for Peace.
They picked off their opponents with a shot apiece, played until midnight, and went to bed right on time-not because they had school the next day.
It was because Ye Xunzhi's aim was so good that she broke the opposing players' spirits. They reported her on suspicion of cheating, and her account ended up banned.
Unable to stand it, Ye Xiao pointed at the other players and unleashed a filthy tirade. They then reported him like mad, successfully earning him the grand prize of a seven-day ban.
With nothing left to do, the two unfortunate siblings had no choice but to go to sleep.
Early the next morning, Ye Xunzhi woke to the aroma of breakfast.
Ye Xiao had ordered a morning dim sum set from the Heavenly Brocade Pavilion, with everything from basic offerings to specialties laid out in a row.
There were crab roe soup dumplings, thousand-layer steamed cakes, eight-treasure porridge, and Cantonese dim sum's "four heavenly kings"-barbecued pork buns, lobster dumplings, bird's nest puff-pastry egg tarts, and jade siu mai-among other things.
[Why is this siu mai so green? Something's off. Let me risk my life and test it for poison.]
[Ooh, this egg tart is sho yummy! Apparently they jazzed it up with bird's nest. Wonderful. I genuinely can't taste any difference from the ones I buy at the cake shop.]
[This crab roe soup dumpling smells so fucking good. What kind of miserable scraps was I living on before?! Another bite!]
[Baby, what are you doing? Mwah, are you there? Are you asleep? Baby, what are you doing? I'm chowing down~]
Ye Xiao: "..."
Was his little sister some clown sent by the Monkey King? That tune was about to take over his entire brain.
"Eat some more." Seeing her act as though she hadn't eaten in five hundred years, Ye Xiao couldn't help feeling tender toward her.
Just look at his little sister. Even eating breakfast, she looked like a starving ghost reincarnated, and she was so scrawny.
She surely hadn't had much good food before. Now that she was home, they could feed her properly.
"Thanks, big brother." Ye Xunzhi happily held out her bowl to take the siu mai.
Only when she was about seventy percent full did Ye Xunzhi's brain finally agree to shift its attention away from the food.
[Why does my beautiful day have to start with school? Do I absolutely have to go to this fucking school? I have only one thing to say about school: paying to go to prison.]
[Paying to go to prison as a kid, selling my labor to go to prison as an adult. Money's hard to earn and shit's hard to swallow. My whole life is being wasted in prison.]
[I finally found a steel rod that felt right yesterday, only to give it away. When I go to school today, I'll see if I can find a brick that feels right.]
Her approach to life was getting increasingly criminal. Ye Xiao cleared his throat. "You don't have to attend your class for the next couple of days."
"Really?!" Ye Xunzhi came alive!
"Of course." Ye Xiao smiled.
"I told our eldest brother everything yesterday. Since he needs to deal with my situation first, he's planning to see the principal tomorrow. You'll most likely be changing classes, so you don't need to go back to your classroom these next two days."
"Yay! Wait..." Ye Xunzhi suddenly spotted a loophole in his wording. "What do you mean, I don't need to go back to my classroom?"
[It can't be what I'm thinking, can it?]
Ye Xiao's smile grew even brighter.
"Your fifth brother is worried you'll be lonely at home, and I happen not to have a deskmate. So you can get a two-day preview of your second year of high school. Aren't you happy?"
Ye Xunzhi: "..."
[What decent person takes his little sister to school? Would you listen to what you're saying?!]
[Fifth brother, you really are a clingy little minx. It's a bit disgusting. Don't do it again.]
Ye Xiao: It can't be helped. My own failure is frightening, sure, but having a little sister who gets to slack off is even more distressing for an older brother.
Despite her countless objections inside, there was no helping it-the deed was done. Ye Xiao was determined to drag her along.
Ye Xiao's class, Class Three of the second year, was an elite class that Ningde High School devoted particular attention to cultivating.
The students here came from wealthy or influential families, and most also had excellent grades, though that didn't rule out a few who had been shoehorned in.
Ye Xiao was already a prominent figure on campus, so when he hauled Ye Xunzhi inside like a little chick, he drew the entire class's attention, to absolutely no one's surprise.
Ye Xunzhi followed reluctantly behind him, grumbling:
"Big brother, is this how you treat your boss? You're chilling me right down to the womb."
Ye Xiao held on to her unhurriedly to keep his sister from running off, responding casually:
"But right now, my little boss is trying to abandon me and run away. Of course I have to hold on tight."
They reached their seats and sat down. Ye Xiao's seat was in the middle rows, toward the window, a spot he had specifically chosen for its view. The light was excellent for slacking off during class.
Ye Xunzhi was stuffed into the inside seat, and the person directly in front of her happened to be Yu Yuan.
He looked at Ye Xiao in shock.
"Brother Xiao, why did you bring your little sister? Did you discuss this with our homeroom teacher, Cui Sparse-Hair? Watch out, or he'll deck you."
"Isn't that what I'm about to do?" Ye Xiao shrugged. "I'm going to act first and inform Old Hair afterward. I'm off."
Since the students in elite classes like this had powerful backgrounds, the school hired teachers with considerable backgrounds of their own to keep them in line.
"Your homeroom teacher is called Cui Sparse-Hair?" Ye Xunzhi's entire worldview was dazzled by that name. What genius had come up with it?
Yu Yuan said with a laugh, "No, our homeroom teacher, who also teaches Chinese, is called Cui Defa. Cui Sparse-Hair is a nickname we gave him because he's balding."
Seeing Ye Xunzhi's gaze clearly urging him to continue, Yu Yuan unconsciously sat a little straighter and began explaining at length:
"And that's not all. Our English teacher is called 'Hot-Tempered Chihuahua,' our history teacher is 'Yuanmou Man,' our physics teacher is 'Little Vajra of the Flatlands,' and our math teacher is 'Abbess Annihilation.' Then there's our biology teacher. Because he likes spitting, we call him 'Her-Tui'..."
Ye Xunzhi had only meant to listen casually, but the more she heard, the more awake she became.
Just then, a voice tinged with tears came from beside her:
"S-sorry, could you let me look under your seat? I lost something."
Before you continue